If you watched the Olympic Men’s Short Program, you saw American Jeremy Abbott take a bad fall off his quad toe loop and lay on the ice for what seemed like hours! In the end he did get up and he attacked the ice like there was no tomorrow. He told the reporter he felt the audience cheering him on and that is how he was able to get up and finish his program and pretty much put in a solid performance from that point on. You could see the determination on his face, in fact. He then went on to skate an amazingly strong, both physically and mentally, long program. You could almost feel that he had released the stress and worry and all that he had been carrying before the fall.
So what happened? He stepped outside himself and just allowed the skating to happen. He wasn’t thinking, he wasn’t calculating, he wasn’t pushing, he wasn’t doing. He was allowing. It is in the allowing that the flow comes. As a mentor, coach and motivator (and former adult figure skater) I knew the moment he stepped out onto the ice for the beginning of his short program that he was in his head. He was thinking, figuring and he was pushing – he was worrying “what if I fall, what if I don’t do well, what if I make a mistake.” And what happened? Yet after the mistake, he didn’t have to worry about making one. He just had to go on and do.
It’s in the doing that we reach our success and get what we want. When we are in our heads, we can’t let go and allow things to happen. Are you guilty of doing this? When have you disappointed yourself because you held back by being in fear and worry and self doubt?
As humans we spend too much time in fear, worry and self-doubt! We spend so much time – waste it really – thinking about doing things and not actually doing them. I know this because lots of my clients struggle with this and once they have broken through and actually done what they wanted to, they are so astounded by the feelings of accomplishment. They’re so pleased with themselves that it spurs them on further to try new, exciting opportunities.
In high school I was upset because my hair wouldn’t behave, and it was taking me forever to get ready to go out with my best friend. I said “I look terrible” and she said “No, you look pretty. And and don’t take this the wrong way, but not everyone is going to be thinking about you.” On the surface it could have been a catty remark, but I knew it wasn’t. She was my best friend and I trusted her word. It was the wakeup call I needed. I was putting a lot of pressure on myself which was causing me to be in my head and not out living.
When we let perfectionism and fear of failure get in our way – whoa, it is a recipe for inertia and disaster. I think what happens to a lot of people is we get caught up in the absolute end result and what we actually want and how we want it, instead of the journey of it and the delightful unexpected experiences we get to have along the way. I live by the saying “There Are No Mistakes” and that in every moment there is an opportunity to have a breakthrough and to grow and live my life in such vibrancy and joy. There is such possibility in everything we do, imagine what would happen for us if we just let go of our fear.
Here are several tips for you:
- Be your best supporter! When you think highly and positively of yourself, then you feel great inside and you have the courage and confidence to undertake anything you want.
- Trying trumps inaction every time. Break things down to small tasks. Taking one small step, no matter what it is, will be the start of something great. Getting caught up in thinking it’s going to be such a big task will keep you in inertia every time.
- There are no mistakes. Look at things that happen in your life as experiences and ways to learn and grow and live. To live vibrant and joyfully means to do, be, have. You must do things to have experiences and you must be in order to do.
How can you support yourself? How can you begin to take small action steps? Where will your learnings come from? Hopefully not from others!
Please feel free to share either by sending me a personal email at kim@kimravida.com or post below here on my blog!
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