You can, it’s just that you won’t!

I won’t because….

In my last blog I wrote about how just when you think you can’t, you can.

And I also shared with you my experience when I went to a conference where Jack Canfield was presenting and he gave us an exercise that had us change what we said when we said “I can’t”.

He told us to replace I can’t with I won’t. Boy did that change things for most everyone in the audience.

First, when he told us to do that there was a collective gasp from about 500 people in attendance. Second, we all laughed, like “ya right, that’s not true.”

And then we did the exercise as pairs and you could hear this nervous giggling and murmuring around the room.

Because it WAS so true.

I won’t:

  • get my finances in order
  • make more money
  • pay my bills on time
  • improve my life
  • exercise
  • improve my health
  • lose weight
  • get organized
  • make my marriage better
  • make friends
  • improve my relationships

Did you come up with one that wasn’t listed? I wouldn’t be surprised if you did. There are so many!

When we change I can’t to I won’t it’s a whole different ballgame. It changes everything.

You begin to look at things in a new light. This is good. But it also is a bit of a shock too as you now need to even do something about it.

A new spin on things.

I shared in the previous blog that for some of the things that I was saying “I can’t” to really was an I won’t do.

Which is the upside of shedding the light on the “I can’ts”. It’s where you can get clarity and be able to let things go.

Here is an example. I was saying “I can’t grow my business.” And what I really meant after I said “I won’t…” was that I was finding it challenging to do all of the things that I felt I needed to do to get to where I wanted to go.

Once I shifted the statement I realized it wasn’t that I couldn’t because let’s face it we all can do the things we WANT to do, it’s do we WANT to do them that’s the question.

I realized that my I won’t grow my business really meant I won’t grow it the way I had been thinking I had to.

So this helped me look at it all differently. 

You do not have to do something you don’t want to do. (Because, spoiler alert, you won’t!)

When I did that it was freeing. It freed me to take a look at where in my life and business was I thinking I had to do something or do something a certain way when I could change it.

We get stuck when we are off our course. When we think we need to or have to do something. To do something a certain way or because someone told us to.

And when you don’t want to do something, you usually don’t do it. Then it turns into you feeling frustrated because you don’t seem to be able to get things done.

You begin to feel bad about yourself and you think “I can’t”. But it isn’t that.

So when you can say “I won’t do [insert what you won’t do], you essential give yourself the freedom to make a new choice. With the new choice, you get to say what it is you will do!

Doesn’t that feel nice?

Making success happen the easy way.

As I said in the previous blog, once I said “I won’t grow my business” it was a whole new ball game. Or, business, if you will.

The beauty of this was things became not only clearer, but easier! 

Where might you be in the same boat? Is there an area of your life that you keep saying “I can’t”?

Go ahead and change it to “I won’t” and see what happens.

Of course, you can also then ask yourself “why won’t I” because you’ll more than likely get an answer that can help enlighten you to 

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Just when you think you can’t, you can.

I can’t because….

Just when you think you can’t, you can.

How often do you hear yourself say “I can’t”… and the other word that follows is often …because…

  • I don’t have time
  • It’s too hard
  • I’m not sure I can do it
  • I can’t figure it out
  • I am afraid
  • It will take too long
  • It is too much money
  • And so many more I’m sure you can fill in the blank

I really could go on and on though you get the point, I’m sure.

We find it very easy to come up with ways to hold ourselves back, sell ourselves short and live lives that aren’t very fulfilling.

We have so many “reasons” why we can’t do something it would take days to list them all.

I once went to a conference with Jack Canfield and he said instead of saying “I can’t” say “I won’t”.

Such as:

  • I won’t improve my life
  • I won’t lose weight
  • I won’t increase my wealth
  • I won’t get organized
  • I won’t improve my relationships
  • I won’t find work I love

It takes a whole new spin on it doesn’t it. It did for me that day. And I’ve got news for you. For some of the things that I was saying “I can’t” to really was an I won’t do.

Well, well, well.

We’ll talk about that in the next blog but for now…

You are stronger, braver and wiser than you think.

And so why was that I asked myself. In fact, one was “I won’t grow my business.” I had been saying “I can’t grow my business” after a few things didn’t go as planned and I felt frustrated and thought I can’t grow my business.”

Once I said “I won’t grow my business” it was a whole new ball game. Or, business, if you will.

The “can’ts” come from lots of places. People in our past who maybe had good intentions and didn’t want us to “get hurt”, “fail” or “be disappointed” so they may have told us we can’t do something.

Yet, look at where you are today. Have there been things in your life that you thought you couldn’t do and then did?

Did you take an action even though you felt scared?

Did you emerge stronger just from taking that action?

What about making some really great decisions that lead to something even better than you imagined?

Yes, you are, as Christopher Robin says in Pooh’s Grand Aventure “You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter thank you think.”

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Is your life headed where you want it to go?

Understand that you are in the driver’s seat of your life.

Are you doing things that will get you to where you want to go in your life? Or is your life really someone else’s life?

You and you alone are the one to drive your life to where you want it to go. But have you taken the time to look at what road you want to be on? If the answer is no, you may be on a road leading to nowhere you want to be.

A client of mine was unhappy with her life. Her “whole” life as she told me in a coaching session. And please “help me”. While I’m all about help, I’m not about bailing my clients out and for a lot of people that’s what we really are looking for. Someone to “fix” things.

I’ve got news for you and you aren’t going to like it: I told her,  “you are the one causing this. No one else.”

How did I get here?

After I said that there was silence. I waited because I know she would get what I meant and when she did, she’d be on her way to fix it.

I asked her exactly what was one thing she was unhappy about right now. She said she felt defeated and depressed.

These are two very big deals and while I absolutely refer my clients to therapists if that’s what they need. I’ve worked with this woman for a year and a half, so I had an idea where to start.

I had been noticing that each session she’d come complaining and belly-aching over something someone said on Facebook. She took lots of offense to posts by her friends and family and strangers.

We looked for what was specifically causing her offense. Why did she feel offended and how was her Facebook feed feeding her offense. We delved into that. Soon she came to the conclusion that she didn’t even want or need to see it.

How do I get to where I want to be?

She had been taking offense because her values were being bumped up again. She didn’t feel the same way the other people in her life felt and she took offense that they were invading her Facebook and triggering her values.

Values are a unique thing for us and when we don’t see eye to eye or share similar values, well, a lot can happen for us.

She decided to unfollow and unfriend those that really pushed her buttons. It’s interesting to note, that when she saw her friends and family in person, she never felt offended by what they said or did. It was strictly a Facebook thing.

She did this and within two days she sent me an email to say how much better she was feeling. And that lead to her seeing that she didn’t need to “fix her whole life”. Though what she did want to focus on during our next session was ways she could uplift others in both person and on her Facebook feed.

Look at what you are putting out in life, is it what you want to get back?

She also realized that she too had posted several negative, snarky comments and posts and she was the one who brought this negativity into her life.

If you want to see where your life is and/or where it is heading, take a look at your own Facebook feed. Are you posting life giving posts or are you posting life sucking posts? Are you positive or negative? Do you get caught up in all the waaa, waaa, waaaa that people post or can you easily move on?

Maybe it sounds silly to say that your Facebook feed is a reflection on you. I do believe that it is. And is it who you really, really are? I’m going out of a limb and say that yes, it is but it isn’t who you have to continue to be if you don’t want to.

It’s all up to you. Your life, your happiness is in your hands.

How to not give in to distractions

Distractions are just a part of our lives.

You probably didn’t want to hear that. I know I don’t! Yet, it is so true.

How then can we cope with them and even overcome them when they appear in our lives?

It’s important to first know that there are different types of distractions that we deal with. There are the small distractions. The telephone calls, text messages and social media bings and bongs. Heck, this blog post might be distracting you from something you should be doing instead.

There are medium sized distractions. If you work from home you might be distracted by your children or spouse or even your pet. Full disclosure, right now Bruin, my 8 month old Bernese Mountain Dog is bumping my elbow wanting his lovies.

And then we have the BIG sized distractions, a sick relative, looming deadlines, things you just have to do and do now or their will be grave consequences.

Oh and let’s not forget odd distractions like your street being paved (I’m raising my hand here as that is also happening right now as I write this). Or an accident that happened in front of your house or things along that nature.

No matter what the distraction is, don’t let it derail you,

Now that you know that there are different kinds of distractions, you can learn how to not let them derail you.

One of the things I help my clients with is to set up solid systems so that if and when (cause ya know it’s gonna happen) distractions hit, they’ll be prepared.

When you are prepared for things to happen they usually don’t have the power to pull you off course for long. Sure they may pull you off for a short time, but with your systems and tools you easily get back on track.

My friend and colleague Ann Rusnak once said to me, when I got distracted and didn’t finish what I wanted to, it’s like sometimes we play whack a mole. That has stuck with me because it made so much sense.

That’s when I set up those systems for myself and what I help my clients with and it made all the difference in the world!

How to not find yourself playing whack a mole in your life and business.

Here are several strategies to take so you don’t find yourself getting caught up in distractions:

  1. Plan for them. Not all distractions we can plan for but the small ones we can. Such as the telephone calls, emails and text messages (even the puppy dog wanting his lovies). Have set times when you will be “doing” what I like to call admin/communicating time. The big ones, if we know what they will be can be planned too.
  2. Follow a To Do and Projects List. Well-thought out lists can help you plan your time accordingly.
  3. Be Mindful. This one is a little less of a step. However, just as important. Do you know when you usually get distracted? When you are mindful of what is going on with your life and business, you’ll be able to avoid them in the first place.

Those are a few ways you can start using to not fall prey to the distractions around you.

Distractions can derail us faster than you can say the word. If you want more personalized help to be able to be productive no matter what is going on around you I can help you do that. Set up a free 30 minute session with me and we’ll work together to create a plan for you to feel good about your change. Click here to be on your way.

It’s all about the health of you and your business

Fitness photo - blog 10-20-16What does health mean?

Health, it’s such a buzz word. Everywhere you go you hear “I want to get healthy” but what exactly does that mean? It means different things to different people. For an athlete it means one thing and for someone who is sick it means something completely different.

What does it mean to you?

Getting healthy doesn’t have to be a chore.

I’ve worked in the health & fitness industry for a long time. One of the things that I try to teach others is that getting healthy doesn’t have to be a chore. It doesn’t have to be hard, nor do you have to spend tons of time on it.

What it does have to be is a lifestyle that you choose.  As a business owner, one of major assets is your health, your personal health. I want to make sure I’m really clear here, that means your physical, mental and emotional health. Because the saying is true. If you don’t have your health, you don’t have anything.

How it can be easy.

Start very small, I mean s-m-a-l-l. Here are several ideas:

  • Exchange one glass of soda for a glass of water a day for 5-7 days (or more if that’s what it takes) then increase from there.
  • Eat one new vegetable or fruit each week.
  • Park just a bit further from where you are going and increase it each week (or more if that’s what it takes).
  • Take 30-60 seconds and stand up to stretch.
  • Spend 30-60 seconds breathing slowing, inhaling and exhaling equally.

Yes, I have tons more ideas for you but if you are just getting started or thinking it is going to be hard and that you can’t do it, small is what will bring you the success you need to be healthy.  Trust me, biting off more than you can chew (pun intended) will get to exactly where you are and that’s not healthy.

Here is a quick video that can help you get started, it’s simple and you can do it in about 30 seconds, heck you can do it as you watch it. So click and watch, then share with me what you did!

 

Do you have the stamina to run your business?

2Who is running the business, is it you or the other way around?

I’ve been working with a lot of business owners recently who are stressed out and exhausted running their business. In fact, I’d say their business is running them rather than the other way around.

Most of them have been sitting behind their computer tap, tap, tapping away at their keyboards. And we all know what goes along with that, a lot of sitting. Sitting equals being sedentary and that equals a lot of poor health.

The low down on being fit to run your business.

Owning a business is much like running a marathon, it is a long journey. The difference is that marathoners have a specific well-laid out plan for them to follow where they are in constant movement, then rest and recovery. In addition they do a lot of tracking and reviewing to see what works really well and what doesn’t.

It is an absolute that as a business owner you must be healthy and fit. Before you get all up in arms over that, I am not saying you have to be a marathoner or anything of the like. But what I am saying without a doubt, you have to incorporate fitness, eating healthy, stress-reduction and rest into your business plan.

When you are healthy and fit you feel better, you have more physical energy and you have more mental energy. Maybe you have heard that our biggest successes and our biggest failures are all because of our mindset.

When you are run down, strung out and stressed out, you simply don’t have the mental capacity to be at the top of your game.

More great reasons for being healthy and fit for running a successful business.

A large study published in the Journal of Occupational and Environmental Medicine discovered that for workers who ate healthy and had regular exercise such as exercising at least three days per week were more likely to have a better job performance than those who did not.

You may not consider “job performance” when it comes to you because you probably don’t consider yourself an employee, but you really are. In fact, if you are like a lot of my clients you are the main worker bee so why not be the healthiest one?

When you put your fitness, eating well and sleep as a priority your brain power is boosted, stress is reduced and your work performance is improved. And least we forget, your overall mood increases! Talk about a positive mindset!

It doesn’t have to be hard!

Now for the good news! Increasing your health and fitness doesn’t have to be hard. Nor does it have to take tons of hours. What it does take is a bit of planning and execution but hey, you are a business owner you are used to that already. So take the skills you have been using and implement them on your health and fitness plan. And if you really aren’t sure where to start, here is a very quick video I posted to my Facebook page to get you started. It’s really simple, and you’ll probably go “really?”, yes really!

One of the things I make sure my clients have is their very own personalized health and fitness plan that supports their business goals (not to mention the personal ones too =) and that is easy for them to achieve. If that’s something you’d like but can’t seem to figure out on your own, let me know email me at kim@kimravida.com! I’d love to help you create a kick-butt plan that gives you all the stamina you need to run a healthy, successful business!

 

 

Yes, there are some things you should do when it comes to your health & fitness

I know, you probably don’t want to be told what you should be doing. I get that. However, what if it were something that would add to your business and your life success? Would you be open to listening? Being healthy & fit is an important component for you to have in your business.

Health & fitness is another one of my specialties.  I’m a huge advocate of being healthy and fit. It helps us stay focused, gives us more energy and even brain power. Recently a client came to one of her sessions asking for “help getting healthier”. I’m qualified to help her with this too as I am a Certified Personal Trainer and have many years of both personal and professional experience and success in this arena.

A lot of people struggle with their health when they have their own business. True, it can be a challenge to run a business and be healthy but it isn’t impossible. Often, we talk about setting aside time for business related tasks and appointments so we can use time here as it pertains to your health & fitness.  Here are a few to get your started:

happy

  • Make time for movement. Take a short walk, get up and stretch, go up and down a couple of flights of stairs a few times. Simple movement will bring oxygen into your body and will give you a boost in energy and mood.
  • Make time to plan, shop for and eat healthy meals. Plan and shop for what you will eat for the week, this will cut down on you just grabbing something unhealthy. When you know what you’ll be eating it is easier to just eat it.
  • Make time for sleep. Yes, sleep plays a hugely important role to your health & fitness. Just think about the time you didn’t get enough sleep and how hard it was for you to do the simplest tasks the next day, enough said!

That’s it, very simple “shoulds” right? Yes, absolutely. I’ll expand on them in later blog posts but for now, contemplate how it is you will fit these key three into your life so that you have optimal health & fitness!

I’d love for you to share your experience with your own health & fitness. Feel free to post a comment here.

If you would like to set up a free Strategic Plan of Action Call to get clear on how you can bring more health & fitness into your life, simply email me at kim@kimravida.com with the subject line of I want to be fit and I’ll email you back to get set up!