Would you like to have more success in your life and in your business?  Would you like to have more joy and fun?  If you said yes, I’m so happy to hear that.  One of the many quests in my life is to help others achieve their goals.  I love to inspire and support others to create a life they love — which means doing work they love, having the time they want to spend with their families, friends and of course themselves.

Yet so many women are struggling and it frustrates me.  As a business and lifestyle coach, as well as a fitness trainer/coach, I so want the people I work with to succeed.  Sometimes it seems like I want it more than they do.

Mostly I know that they do want to succeed, though it sometimes seems as if everything is stacked against them.  They have many pressures and responsibilities that they must pay attention to and take care of.  Some of them even have health conditions that can get in their way.

The one thing, though, that they never seem to see (without help that is) is that they are truly in charge of their experience on this earth.  So many feel that they are at the effect (mercy) of everything around them and don’t even realize that they are at the cause of everything.

Let me explain at little.  Women, especially, jump in to help immediately — often without taking a step back and asking questions that may help them determine if they indeed should even be jumping in.

Examples:

• You may say yes, without even being asked.  Someone merely needs to say “Oh gee, I need help with this” and bam there you are volunteering at the detriment of your own responsibilities.
• At home, you may jump in because you think you need to be the one to do the task.  Mothers are great at doing this.  You tell the kids that they are going to start doing their own laundry and even show them how.  Then you decide it’s taking them so long and you go ahead and do their laundry anyway.  In the end you are pissed off because you always have to do everything.
• In business, you may do your clients work for free or a reduced rate, take on more responsibility than you need to and then begin to feel resentment because your clients aren’t as grateful as you think they should be and you feel taken advantage of.

In each of the examples, you are the one who decided to “take control” but ultimately what happened was you lost control.  You gave up control when you decided to be Superwoman and fix everything, when in reality you can’t.  There’s only so much time in day, and so many days in the week.

The next time you realize you may be ‘jumping in’ even when it might not be needed or wanted – remember that you want to be the cause of your own success. If that means going to bed at a decent hour tonight or finishing up homework that takes you one step closer to your degree, that’s your decision.

Here are some questions to help you decide:

• Is this something that I need to be doing?
• Can someone else do this just as well? (Okay, you may have to give up perfection, but you know what I mean ;-))
• If I do this, will I be helping me get closer to my goals or will it move me further away leading to feeling more frustration?
• What if I just said no?

When you know that, in fact, you are responsible for YOUR satisfaction, success and happiness, you no longer have to “take control”.

So then, where do you need to perhaps let go of a behavior that is not serving you and causing you to end up being at the effect of the circumstances rather than at the cause of them?

I’d love to hear your thoughts on the matter, please post a comment or email me personally at kim@kimravida.com to share.