Are You Realistic Or Are You Optimistic?

Hey now, what’s the difference?

The dictionary states that being realistic is: having or showing a sensible and practical idea of what can be achieved or expected. And being optimistic is: hopeful and confident about the future.

So then, do you really need to be one or the other?

I say no. I say you can be both realistic and optimistic. And I see a lot of good coming from both.

How to use both to get ahead in your life and business.

Have you ever been accused of being too realistic, or even too optimistic? I have and it got me thinking.

If I’m too realistic, does that hold me back? What if I’m too optimistic, does that mean I’m engaging in pie in the sky results? The answer, is probably. =)

So, how can you use, say, a middle ground of being realistically optimistic to get what you want? Recently, I’ve been working with my clients to not set goals. Whoa, what, now?! You read that correctly.

My clients work on being at choice and choosing to set the results they want.

Here is an example from one of my clients who wanted to increase her income:

By March 31, 2018, I will have made an additional income of $5,000 by signing up 3 new (or previous) clients. I will do that by achieving the following results:

  • Create a clear message for my audience so they understand what I offer.
  • Attend two in-person networking groups per week with the end result of meeting 1-2 new prospects to connect with personally.
  • Invest 30-60 minutes a day in two on-line networking groups I’ve determined are the best fit for me.
  • Make a “can’t say no” offer to those prospects that I know will be a good fit and will get great results.
  • Monitor my actions and my mindset to hold myself accountable to taking daily actions in order to reach my end result.

Is this realistic? Yes, for my client, it is. Her services price point are in line with reaching her wanted results. Is it optimistic? Yes, she is hopeful and confident that she will be able to take the actions needed to have her reach her end result.

So while technically you could call the above goals, we talk in terms of results. Since results feel more concrete and yes, realistic. Then, this makes it possible for my clients to be optimistic since they have set really great actions and measurements for success.

Have you been struggling to reach the results you want?

Why not use the above as a guide and determine exactly what results you want. Once you have done that, you can list out your action steps. Here is a tip, keep your action steps clear and only have 5-8 of them. Any more and you’ll create overwhelm which creates confusion, which keeps you from taking daily action.

Remember, it’s about getting results, not about doing 100 (or more things). The less is truly the better.

What is your first step, then second and so on that will give you what you want? I’d love to hear about it. Please comment below.

One thing my clients say is that it’s easy to reach the results once you know what to do. If not being clear on what you need to do or the order in which to do it in, is a stumbling block for you, let’s fix that. Schedule your 90-minute Business Success Blueprint Session with me now. At the end of your session, you will have your concrete plan of actions to reach your desired results.

How to propel yourself forward toward success

Secret to Success

Well, truly, it’s not a secret. It’s being talked about all over the place. It’s called your psychology. Also known as your mindset.

It is the one thing that can propel you to success.

As a business owner your success is paramount.

How to know if your mindset is sabotaging your efforts for success

There are many ways we harm our opportunities for success.  Several ways in which you may be taking yourself out from the success track are:

  • Are you using words such as “you are such an idiot, I can’t believe you did that, you are so stupid” in your self talk?
  • Do you often find yourself thinking about a situation hours or even days after it happened wishing you did or said something different than what you said?
  • Have you found yourself in the same situation over and over again, wondering what happened to get you here again?

If you said yes to any of those, you are in a negative mindset – therefore, your psychology is not one that will support you, it will actually destroy you.

Simple ways to boost your psychology for success

One of the reasons you may be more negatively focused is your upbringing. While we can’t go back to the past, you most certainly can change your present and your future.

  • Pay attention to your self talk.  Are you constantly berating yourself? Are you calling yourself derogatory names? There was a great article in Psychology Today that laid out the reasons why it’s easy to be negative. Once you are aware of your pattern it is easy to learn to turn it around.
  • Change your self talk.  If you do notice that you are not so nice to yourself, when you find that you are doing it, stop, and choose something nice to say about yourself.
  • Repetition is key.  In order to begin to change your pattern, you must be on guard and be at the ready when the negative self talk shows up so that you can change how you speak to yourself.

At first, it’s challenging, you may not even be aware of it.  Once you notice what you are doing, your pattern for your negative self talk, and implement your new habit of speaking kind and supportive to yourself, it gets easier!

Your assignment is to 1) pay attention to your self talk and notice if you are being negative and mean to yourself; 2) come up with several turn around phrases that you can tell yourself to start and shift from negative to positive; and 3) make it a habit.

That’s it! You will now be on the road to speedier successes and happiness!


My free e-book has a section about mindset. Learn more ways to help yourself to a successful and profitable business as well as a life! Download my free e-book now! It even has a companion workbook that you can use to get starting immediately.

It’s all in the way of your attitude

Got Attitude?

Mindset QuoteHave you said about someone else that you didn’t like their attitude or that they had an “attitude”?

Or, what about when you were growing up?  There were times when I heard “I don’t approve of your attitude” or “You better change your attitude, young lady”. What about you? And did you even know what ‘attitude’ meant?

Back then for me it meant I better behave in a way that made someone else happy or else I might be punished. Interesting, eh?

Attitude defined

When I looked up the meaning of attitude, the dictionary told me:

Personal view of something:
  an opinion or general feeling about something

Challenging Manner:
 an arrogant or assertive manner or stance assumed as a challenge or for effect

The other thing I discovered was that attitude also means mindset! AH, exactly what I was looking for. See, your mindset will determine your outcomes. In business, your mindset has everything to do with your success (or failure). Your mindset (attitude) will either propel you forward or hold you back.

How to use your mindset/attitude for success

Think about your business right now. Is it everything you want it to be?
Are there things you have wanted to do, yet have not done? Why not? What are you thinking? What are you feeling? What are you afraid of?

Here are few questions for you to use to shift your mindset/attitude:

  • What is the outcome I want to experience?
  • What is one action I can take to get started?
  • What is the worst that can happen?

Start with those and if you’d like more questions and tips download my free e-book. You’ll also get additional steps to creating a successful business that is profitable! The e-book has a companion workbook for you as well that will help you create the business success you know that you can have!

Share your thoughts and comments on my blog or email me back personally; I love hearing from my subscribers!


Be the cause of your successes!

Would you like to have more success in your life and in your business?  Would you like to have more joy and fun?  If you said yes, I’m so happy to hear that.  One of the many quests in my life is to help others achieve their goals.  I love to inspire and support others to create a life they love — which means doing work they love, having the time they want to spend with their families, friends and of course themselves.

Yet so many women are struggling and it frustrates me.  As a business and lifestyle coach, as well as a fitness trainer/coach, I so want the people I work with to succeed.  Sometimes it seems like I want it more than they do.

Mostly I know that they do want to succeed, though it sometimes seems as if everything is stacked against them.  They have many pressures and responsibilities that they must pay attention to and take care of.  Some of them even have health conditions that can get in their way.

The one thing, though, that they never seem to see (without help that is) is that they are truly in charge of their experience on this earth.  So many feel that they are at the effect (mercy) of everything around them and don’t even realize that they are at the cause of everything.

Let me explain at little.  Women, especially, jump in to help immediately — often without taking a step back and asking questions that may help them determine if they indeed should even be jumping in.


  • You may say yes, without even being asked.  Someone merely needs to say “Oh gee, I need help with this” and bam there you are volunteering at the detriment of your own responsibilities.
  • At home, you may jump in because you think you need to be the one to do the task.  Mothers are great at doing this.  You tell the kids that they are going to start doing their own laundry and even show them how.  Then you decide it’s taking them so long and you go ahead and do their laundry anyway.  In the end you are pissed off because you always have to do everything.
  • In business, you may do your clients work for free or a reduced rate, take on more responsibility than you need to and then begin to feel resentment because your clients aren’t as grateful as you think they should be and you feel taken advantage of.

In each of the examples, you are the one who decided to “take control” but ultimately what happened was you lost control.  You gave up control when you decided to be Superwoman and fix everything, when in reality you can’t.  There’s only so much time in day, and so many days in the week.

The next time you realize you may be ‘jumping in’ even when it might not be needed or wanted – remember that you want to be the cause of your own success. If that means going to bed at a decent hour tonight or finishing up homework that takes you one step closer to your degree, that’s your decision.

Here are some questions to help you decide:

  • Is this something that I need to be doing?
  • Can someone else do this just as well? (Okay, you may have to give up perfection, but you know what I mean ;-))
  • If I do this, will I be helping me get closer to my goals or will it move me further away leading to feeling more frustration?
  • What if I just said no?

When you know that, in fact, you are responsible for YOUR satisfaction, success and happiness, you no longer have to “take control”.

So then, where do you need to perhaps let go of a behavior that is not serving you and causing you to end up being at the effect of the circumstances rather than at the cause of them?

I’d love to hear your thoughts on the matter, please post a comment or email me personally at to share.

Let’s see if we can’t meet in the middle.

There is a syndrome going on out there among a lot of business women. It’s called the I have to get it all done and if I can’t then I might as not even try syndrome.

It plagues so many women. So instead of just getting a few things accomplished or moved forward, they wait and wait until they have all the time in the world to get the whole project complete. And of course we all know that that isn’t going to happen any time soon. So why bother anyway?

Quote - Kim Ravida

So what if we could meet in the middle? What I mean is what if we could look at what we had to accomplish and set aside time regularly to move the project forward a little bit each day? The trick is to actually set the time aside for doing what you want to do.

I remember when I first started to implement this concept. Yes, I used to have the all or nothing mindset and feel that I never got anything accomplished, well, how could I if I never started things in the first place?

If you find that you are in an all or nothing mindset, what if you were to take one thing at a time, determine what actions steps you need to take in order to get your project complete and then schedule the time into your calendar and actually do the work when the time comes?

Would you say that you would find yourself accomplishing a lot more and feeling really good about yourself? I bet you would!

But don’t take my word for it, go for it yourself and then let me know! Feel free to comment here or email me privately at


What a difference a year makes

This time last year where I live we had so much snow we could barely see over the snow banks and just try driving down the street! Our two way streets were turned into one way streets with all the snow fall we had.

2015-02-02 10.09.04

I have a Bernese Mountain Dog (Baloo) and he was in his glory, us humans were not! At first it’s nice but then it gets old, tromping around in the snow, slush, cold and freezing temperatures got old very quickly.

Today as I sit here writing this it’s a cold 35, sunny with bare streets and lots of brown grass but I’m not complaining. Baloo might be but I’m not. It got me thinking about what a difference a year makes and that got me thinking, what a difference a day makes for that fact. So if you aren’t happy with where you are right now, just know that tomorrow is another day, a different day and you have the opportunity for it to be different!

The question is what will you do to make it different? Let me know! Email me at to share or comment here.

It’s never as hard as we make it out to be

In yesterday’s post, The remarkable thing about what you are telling yourself I shared with you how we become story tellers and make things out to be harder than they truly are.

Today I have a real life example to share with you. Last year a beloved uncle died and an out-of-state cousin asked if he had any hats and if no one else in the family wanted them he’d like to have them. Well all I had to do is send him the hats. Simple enough, yes? You would think so.

However, in my mind it was a different story. See I had made up a story about what a pain it was going to be to send the hats. I’d have to find the right size box, find packing materials, get the hats in the box and then take the box to UPS. Sheesh, that was a lot of hard work my mind was telling me.

That was until a client of mine (it’s isn’t always me teaching my clients, sometimes they teach me =) told me a story about a friend who said that she wasn’t good at sending things to other people; to which my client said to her “it’s not that hard, just go to UPS and they’ll pack it for you”.

My “hat” story changed that day when my client told me this and so off I went to UPS and said to the guy behind the counter, Steve was his name, I need some direction here, I want to send these hats do I just pick out a box and he simply said “no just put everything on the counter and you are all set.”

Quote - Mark Twain

I thought, WHOA, just like that? This couldn’t be this easy, the story I had going was it was going to be hard and viola just like that less than 5 minutes later (well, almost a year and 5 minutes later) my cousin’s package was on it’s way! And I felt an amazing sense of relief at having accomplished this task after so much time.

The lesson I learned for myself and that I’m sharing with you is that things are never as hard as we make them out to be. So the next time you think “this is going to be a pain, too hard, or take too long”, think about my hat story and how it took just 5 minutes and it was done.

I know I’m not the only one with a story such as this, please feel free to share, I’d love to hear. Or if you would rather keep it private, email me personally at

Do you have what it takes to have a winning mindset?

Were you ever told that you needed a new attitude? Sometimes you do. An attitude is your mindset. If you aren’t making the money you want in your business, you need to shift your mindset to one of unlimited opportunities for you to increase your self-worth and net worth!

Mindset is what I like to call the end all, be all. If you have the right mindset, anything is possible. If not, for the most part everything is difficult. Think about some pro athletes, often it is not their sheer talents and abilities that make them successful, but their mindset.

Do you have the mindset that it takes to win in your business? Do you have a winning mindset that no matter what, you will succeed? Did you reach your income goal from last year? What about for the month of January? If the answer is no, why not? What do you have to do or know or be in order to have that successful mindset so that you reach those financial goals? You may have gaps that are holding you back from reaching your goals.

Dollars and woman

If you have been listening to my free webinar series The 5 Key Money Areas, you may already have taken the quiz and know where your gaps are. If you haven’t taken the quiz yet, you can find it here, it’s short and it won’t take you longer than 5 minutes to do. It relates to The 5 Key Money Areas I’ve talked about this month.

Once you identify your gaps and take action to close them, you’ll be able to increase your self-worth and net worth. Doesn’t that sound like a beautiful thing!?

I’d love to hear what you think comment or email me at to share!

Are you tired of waiting for things to change?

I was watching an episode of Brain Games and the scientist said that “everything you do changes your brain for good.” That’s a fascinating statement – so why then does it feel like it takes forever to 1) make a change and 2) see a change?

I have my own thoughts on this such as we have habits and patterns as well as mindsets that can keep us repeating the same things over and over again.Dollars spread out

Let’s take a look at saving money. Do you feel like it takes a split second to spend it yet forever to save it? Do you think “why bother saving money because it takes forever for it to grow”? If you do then no wonder nothing is changing.

Our mindset can make or break us and if we are in a why bother frame of mind, we are in a holding pattern, therefore there is no change because you aren’t doing anything. In order for our brain to change, we have to do something, not just anything though, it has to be something different from what we have been doing to see the changes.

So then, what will you do differently that will foster that change you want?  Please share here or email me privately at

Try this superior edge to really succeed in business

Here we are the last week in February, wowwee!! How has your month gone? One thing that I have been hearing this month is that it’s “hard to make money” or “I keep trying to make more but nothing is working”.

It’s like the little train – you have probably heard it before, if you think you can, you can and if you think you can’t you can’t so either get on with it or get over it.

What I mean by this is first determine if you even want to do what it is you are thinking you can’t do – because maybe you don’t even want to do it – so move on. Or get over it and just do it.

Mountain Top

It is really quite simple, you do have to do the work, you have to take the action. I wish I could tell you that waving a magic wand would do it but truthfully it’s much more than that. By taking the action you gain so much. In order to have a successful, rewarding, fulfilling life/business, you have to do the work; you have to go through the tough times in order to reach the top. Climbing Mt. Everest wouldn’t be so rewarding if it were easy.

Maybe you aren’t climbing Mt. Everest but it might feel like that and if it does and if you aren’t focusing positively on where you are going, could it be that you don’t even want to be going there? Not everyone wants to climb Mt. Everest, I know I don’t but I do want to be the best I can be at what I’m choosing to do.

What steps will you take to reach your peak? What mindset shifts will you make?

If you would like a superior edge to succeed in business, listen now to my free webinar training on mindset. It’s one of The 5 Key Money Areas and one that can either make or break your success in business and also in life.

Feel free to leave your thoughts here or email me personally at to share.