Do you know the place in your head where you put things for ‘later’… and then later never comes? I do! And boy was it causing me angst. See, I just learned that by doing that I was putting off making decisions — and we all know where that gets us don’t we? It gets us no where!
For example in the case of someone being overweight, by a lot or a little, there’s a black hole – they just put stuff there to deal with later. In my experience, the stuff is often things they have happening in their lives that they would rather not have happening. So they put their feelings away for later by eating to conceal their emotions.
Does that sound like you? Did I scare you? I hope so, because what I want is to bring awareness for you just like I had awareness recently about my own black hole. Let me tell you the good news: it almost always comes down to fear. We are afraid of something, whether it’s ourselves, others, or the unknown. So what do we do? We put things away to deal with at another time when we think we won’t be afraid. Well, guess what? Later has arrived! It is time to deal, decide and move on! The big buzz word now-a-days is ‘moving forward’ – yet, in my practice I see lots of people doing just the opposite, they are standing still. I’m discovering this is because they haven’t dealt with their black hole.
Let’s deal with it! Here are seven steps that will help you deal with it, begin to make decisions and then follow through so you can move on. Because I know — really, I do — that you do not want to be or stay where you are. I’ve had clients and people close to me in the exact same situation and they always say, “I want to move forward but I don’t know how”, so let me get you started moving forward.
- Acknowledge that you have a black hole and what it is.
- Recognize that your black hole served a purpose for you. At the time that was a good thing, but not anymore.
- Think about where you really want to be or how you really want to feel.
- Decide on ONE thing you can do to take a small step forward toward that goal. Say it out loud and then write it down. Put a date when you will do it and post it where you will see it.
- Take the action — DO — what you said you would do in Step 4.
- Celebrate your small step and be proud of what you have accomplished! Reward yourself responsibly.
- Repeat Steps 3 through 6 over and over again until you have eradicated your black hole and reached your goal.
Seriously, how hard was that? It is not impossible, right? I just followed those steps myself. See, I like to play along with you because not only am I inspired by knowing that you will be taking these steps, I am a true believer in walking your talk. It’s not “Do as I say”; it really is me doing it as well! If I inspire you to take action, then I’m a very happy person!
I’d love to hear about your black hole; please share your thoughts, insights and revelations below.
© Copyright 2012 Kim Ravida Coaching. All rights reserved. Feel free to use the material from the article in whole or in part, just makes sure you include this complete acknowledgement including the live website link and let me know where the material will appear: “Kim Ravida, owner and founder of Kim Ravida Coaching, is a Certified Professional Coach and a personal and professional motivation mentor. In essence, she motivates people to stop beating themselves up and helps them get off their butts so that they maximize their time and energy to quickly get what they want in their lives… and love their reflection! Kim produces a weekly ezine where she shares insights, inspirations, tips and ideas for setting and reaching personal and professional goals. To get more information or sign up, please go to www.kimravida.com.”
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