Why it is so easy to pile things to do on our plates?

Have enough?

As business owners, it’s easy to have loads on our plates (er…desks). We all have enough things to do, places to go, and items to manage.

And why is it so easy to end up with our proverbial plates piled higher than we even stand? Well, lots of things and one stands out among them all…the inability to say no.

No is a single and complete sentence. Yet, so many business owners feel they have to offer more and more specifically, they have to say why they can’t or don’t want to do something.

So they end up saying yes, hence the high piles of things to do, places to go and items to manage. And no time for doing what they truly want.

How to say no.

If you found yourself saying “yup, that’s me, I just can’t say no.” Let me tell you that 1) it’s ok for no to escape your lips often and 2) no one will die if you do (not even you =).

True you might feel bad, but you’ll get over it and it gets easier. I was a serial YESer. I’d say yes to everything. I did it because I wanted people to like me and think I was helpful. Only a funny thing happened, I ended up not liking myself and I certainly wasn’t as much help as I could have been to those I said yes to because I resented saying yes.

That’s no way to be respectful of yourself or others. I discovered my reason for yes after working with my own business coach and the second I did, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. I felt freer than I ever had.

How to say no easily is simple, p-r-a-c-t-i-c-e! You need to practice saying no. Here are a few for you to practice with:

• Short response: No.
• Feeling the need to say more: No, thank you.
• Wanting to expand it a bit: No, I won’t be able to help you (do that for you) with that.
• Said succinctly: No.

There is no reason for you to be sorry.

You will notice that no where in your practice material are the words I’m sorry. Because I’m sorry has no place here. We are accustomed to using “I’m sorry” as a habit. If you really, really, really want to offer a reason for your no, be honest and to the point. Here is the thing, you either DO want to say yes or you DON’T and when you don’t the respectful response is no (full sentence, end of conversation).

If you do feel sorry, why is that? What is it you feel you need to do or be for yourself to feel good about your saying no? Give some thought to that. My guess is you’ll discover what it is I discovered which for me was I wanted to be liked, ultimately that lead to a fear of not wanting to be rejected. Once I discovered that and knew that truly no one can reject me (that only happens because of how I feel), saying no became easy.

The result of saying no.

There are many benefits to saying no to things that are not for you to do, you have more time, you get more things done, you feel better, you truly enjoy what you are doing, you no longer need to complain, you no longer need to feel bad about yourself and not getting to the things that are most important to you. You get so many benefits.

What is one thing you need to say no to right now? Go and do it. And here’s a tip, you can say no even if you already said yes. It’s called “I changed my mind.” And like with no, it’s a complete sentence. and yes, in this case, you can say “I’m sorry, I changed my mind.” Because here it fits. Though you certainly do not have to say I’m sorry ever in these instances.

Give this a shot and I’d love to hear from you about how it goes, if you would like to share your experience here, post in the comment section below.

Are you having a hard time saying no? Let’s practice together, schedule a 30-minute complimentary Productive Planning For Success Strategy Session with me. You’ll walk away feeling confident about saying No without any guilt!