How to get what you want

Over compromising almost always leads to you not getting what you want.

Do you pride yourself on being accommodating to others? Are you someone who will go along to get along?

Well, it could be what is keeping you from getting what you truly want. When you accommodate others over what it is you want, what actually happens is you are compromising yourself.

Now, I’m not saying a compromise isn’t a good thing. It often is a mainstay in a negotiation. Though when you compromise on many things in your life and your business just to accommodate others you will never get what you want.

Ways you may be compromising yourself.

Let’s say you have a client who is always asking for an extension of time. Your policies are that clients must complete their service by a certain date and that no additional extensions will be granted. Yet, each time this client engages your services they always ask for more time. And you say yes.

You have laid out your policies that you require a non-refundable deposit to begin working with a new client and they ask if they could roll that into their payment plan. And you say yes.

In negotiating to work with a new client you know exactly what it is you will say yes to and what will say no to and they ask for something you don’t want to do. And you say yes.

In each of these circumstances you are compromising yourself and in that vain you can never get what you want.

How to stop compromising yourself so you get what you want.

If you have kids or even a dog, if you always say yes to them when you mean no, then when you try to enforce “the no” you find it won’t work. I know, I have a Bernese Mountain Dog and as long as I do what I plan to do he’s awesome to train. The second I don’t (hey, he’s really adorable), all heck breaks loose. He’s not inclined to come when he’s called if I keep going over to get him. It’s the same with kids, they will wear you down and you’ll never be able to get what you want. Such as a well-behaved child or pet.

It’s really a mindset on your part. You have to be the one to say this is what I want and this is how I’ll get it. So when a client asks for something that you have already told them they can’t have (so to speak) and then say yes, why would they not push (I mean ask) for more?

Here are several ways to stop compromising yourself:

• Honor what it is you want. It’s perfectly ok for you to say this is what I want. You don’t even have to have any reasons and you don’t have to explain anything to anyone.
• Practice saying no. And again, you do not need to offer any explanation for your reason. Though if you feel better doing so, create several phrases that you feel comfortable saying. Read this is you would like some suggestions on how to say no.
• Listen to your intuition. When you are asked to compromise on what you already said you didn’t want (or wouldn’t do), your intuition pops up. You may feel it in your gut or a little voice will say “ya but…” listen to that.

By accommodating what you want first more often, you’ll be able to get what it is you want for yourself and your business. And just to be clear, it’s not that you’ll never compromise with others, or give in. You’ll be more in tune to how your behavior hinders what you want for yourself.

I know this can be challenging, especially if you have been compromising yourself to accommodate others. So, schedule a private 1/1 complimentary session with me and we’ll create as way for you to be able to easily honor what you want, say no and listen to your intuition.