The Secret to Success

March 26, 2015 By

I refuse to quit message, handwriting with chalk on blackboard, lifestyle change conceptDo you love secrets?  I used to as a kid; it was so awesome to hear “I’m just telling you this and no one else.” How thrilling it was to be the keeper of the secret!  However, I soon realized there were others who knew the same secret… so it wasn’t much of a secret, was it?

Then, how can I tell you the secret of success and still have it be a secret?  Doesn’t really make any sense, right?  Well, okay, the secret really isn’t a secret.  BUT it is something that if you do it, you will have success!  And if you don’t, you will continue to have stress, frustration and overwhelm, not to mention much unhappiness and feeling bad about yourself.  So what is this secret to success?

Drum roll, please.  The secret to success is to change your perspective.  Yes, change your perspective.  Easy, right?  Well, not so fast.  If it were, we’d actually do it.  If change were easy – well, we’d all have so much joy, happiness and success all of the time.  So what makes changing our perspective so challenging?  That’s easy to answer: it is all in the word ‘change’.  We need to alter, amend or adjust what we are thinking, doing and saying.  And oftentimes we aren’t clear on that and so we say “I hate change.”  And because we ‘hate’ change, we won’t do it. 

Notice that last phrase “won’t do it” – it has such a limiting feel, doesn’t it?  Picture a child stamping his/her foot – they normally don’t say “I won’t”, they just say “NO!” It’s the same thing when you say ‘won’t’.  Hmmm.  Ringing any bells?  ‘Can’t’ is a word that shows up, too.  Do you ever hear yourself saying “I can’t” either out loud or inside your head?  So my friend, when you find yourself in that ‘won’t’ and ‘can’t’ place, that’s a good time for the perspective change to come in.

Think of a time where you were trying to get something done and you kept coming up against obstacle after obstacle and finally you said “Never mind, I give up.”  What happened?  Did you suddenly have a bright idea of how to get what you wanted?  More often than not, the answer is yes.  I know because it happens to me and to my clients, so I’m not just making things up here.  It’s because you decided (without you even knowing) to have a perspective change – you gave up.  But what you really did was release the expectation to the outcome you had going on in your head.

See, when we change the way we look at things, no matter how small, the things we look at change.  Dr. Wayne Dyer says that all the time and he’s right.

So the secret is easy, right?  Change your perspective and change your life.  Yet so many people resist it because they are used to behaving in a certain way, even if it isn’t consciously.  We self-sabotage all the time and think we have no control over anything that happens to us.  But we do, we do!  Change is NOT hard.  Change is easy.  It is what we tell yourself about change that makes it hard.  We make up all of these stories in our head about this and that, and rarely do they come true.  All that does is hold us firmly rooted in stress, frustration and overwhelm that leads to unhappiness.  Give this secret a try and shift your perspective to something that is more pleasing to you and will bring you the happiness you want.

What’s one thing right now that you can change your perspective on?  Maybe it’s something you have been saying “I can’t” about or stomping your foot saying “NO, I won’t”.  Where can you have a slight perspective shift that will take you from stress, frustration and overwhelm to joy, peace and ease?  Go on, I know once you do it you will feel so much better!

When you do, feel free to comment below and let me know what the shift did for you and how much better you feel!

Filed Under: Personal Development, Reaching Goals Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

Have you had enough?

March 12, 2015 By

How much is enough conceptDid I get your attention?  Did you ask “Well, what is enough?”  Or did you think “What does ‘enough’ mean?”  For many of us we have no idea what ‘enough’ is or means.  Take money for example; I hear from my clients all the time “I just need enough money.” Or, “I just want to make enough money.”  But what does ‘enough’ mean?

So let’s first define ‘enough’.  It means sufficient, adequate, as much as necessary or as much as needed.  I’m not sure about you, but I know that my clients and most people (I’m including myself in there too) want more than needed.  I want enough money so that I can do and have whatever I want.  Plus, I want to feel secure and not have to worry if I can meet my financial obligations day-to-day, week-to-week, month-to-money and yes, year-to-year.  Therefore, I want more than enough.

So have you had enough of enough?  My clients have.  When they say they just need enough money or to make enough, we do some coaching around that.  I ask them to define what enough is to them.  When they do, they realize that they actually want more.  And we then take it a step further and I ask “What do you want more for?”  It’s absolutely amazing what they say!  I hear things like: they can help more people, they can reach more, they can spend more time with their kids, on their health, take a trip, hire help and the list goes on.

Look, for most of us we do have enough, and it is okay to want more.  It’s actually more than okay because when you say “I want more” you will get it and you will also help more people around you.  Think of it this way, what if you had all the money in the world, would you do something to help someone else?  Many of you will say yes.  And so then, isn’t it worth striving for having more than enough?

I’d say so!  So say goodbye to just ‘enough’ and hello to more – more joy, more freedom, more happiness and dare I say more peace of mind!

 

Filed Under: Money Habits, Personal Development Tagged With: , , ,

Profitability, you got it?

February 26, 2015 By

pie chartAs a business owner, how do you define ‘profit’?  Do you take your sales minus your expenses and then see what is left over?  If you do, you aren’t alone; there are many business owners who do just that.  It’s the way we have been taught, programmed and told to do.  But there is another way.  Say what?  Yes, there is another way and I’m happy to share that with you here.

I work with an amazing system called Profit First.  It was created by Mike Michalowicz and since being certified by him, I’ve helped numerous business owners make money in their business and — even better — take money for themselves from their business.  Now I’m not talking about “Oh, look there’s money in the account, I think I’ll write myself a check.”  I’m talking about seriously planning to make a profit and paying yourself a salary, all while you are covering your business expenses and your taxes.

The Profit First System is exactly as it sounds, take your profit first!  We so often pay everyone else and then we live off of what is left (or not live in some cases, I kid you not).  Well, this system flips all of that and has you calculating your profit first and paying yourself a regular salary.  You wouldn’t accept a job interview by saying “By the way, I’m here to work for free,” so why should you work for free in your own company?  If nothing else, you gotta eat, right?

The first step of the Profit First System is that you establish four accounts:

  1. Profit Account
  2. Owner’s Pay Account
  3. Tax Account
  4. Operating Expenses Account

I want to stress here that you want four separate accounts.  You don’t want to have all your money living in one account because that’s one sure-fire way to end up with more month leftover than money.

The next step is to determine the percentages that you’ll be putting into those separate bank accounts regularly.  Now the trick here is to look closely at your operating expenses and make sure that you aren’t paying for things that you don’t need to run your business.  There may be things you think you need that you truly don’t, and guess what?  Once you get rid of those, you’ll have more money for your profit and owner’s pay.

What if you could put more money in your pocket?  Sounds way better, doesn’t it!

My clients go through an analysis so they can see exactly where they are bleeding money and also where they need to put money in order to have a healthy business.  That’s what this system is all about; creating a healthy business that thrives not just survives.

If you are interested in learning a lot more about this Profit First theory, read Mike’s book.  Here is my link on Amazon http://amzn.to/1Lbx1kq for you to pick up your own copy.  And if you feel you need or want help with getting a profit first, let me know because I am a Certified Profit First Professional!  Feel free to send me a private email at kim@kimravida.com.

 

Filed Under: Money Habits Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Do you feel the love?

February 12, 2015 By

Redhead girl near mirror with heart it in bathroom.February, with Valentine’s Day, is the month of “love”. It’s super easy to say “I love you” to someone else, but can you truthfully say it to yourself? And do you believe it? I work with so many women business owners who find it absolutely uncomfortable to look in the mirror and tell themselves “I love you”. Yet they say it to their significant other, spouse, children and pets all the time and without even thinking about it. Why is that?

Well, here is what I have discovered and wanted to share with you since I think it’s important.

Women can be their own worst enemy. They beat themselves up, make themselves feel bad or guilty, and put themselves last because they don’t feel that they deserve love. They put everyone else and their needs first, and hardly ever take care of themselves. By doing this, they often feel disrespected, put upon and taken for granted. No wonder they feel like that; they are essentially treating themselves the same way.

Not a very great place to be, eh?

If you are a woman in business and always seem to be struggling to make money, find clients, and be successful, ask yourself “Do I love myself?” If the answer is no, ask next “Why not?” Hang on for a second and you’ll receive the answers, usually they are right there. But if you analyze them, you will probably discover they are false or superficial. For every con there is a better pro. And let me assure you, there is no reason in this world why you shouldn’t love yourself!

If you don’t love yourself first, why do you think others would or should?

When I started out in business as a fitness coach, I stressed the importance of self care. I still do in my role as a business coach for women business owners because I know — beyond a shadow of a doubt – that self-care and self-love are vital to success.

By loving yourself, you will value yourself and be able to take the steps to build a successful business and make the kind of money you want to make.

When you can tell your reflection in the mirror that you love yourself, really you are saying that you are important, you mean something and you matter… and you do!

So perhaps it’s time to buy your own heart-shaped box of chocolates and send yourself a love note. You’re loved not only by all, but by yourself – and the most important person is YOU!

 

Filed Under: Self Worth Tagged With: , , , , ,

Secret to being successful in business

January 29, 2015 By

mindset word cloudI’ve been working with an amazing group of business owners in my Prosperous Business Mastery Group Program.  Each and every one has been stepping up and shining the light on themselves.  One of the things that has been paramount for them is to get really clear about what they want.  It’s very exciting to see what they have been creating in only a short time!

When we are unclear about our end result, it’s hard to know what to do in order to get there.  Therefore, being crystal clear about what we want, why we want it, and what we will do to get it will make all the difference in the world.

Since there already has been much written about steps to take to reach our goals, I want to touch on something that most people don’t know about — or if they do, they don’t utilize well.  It’s called MINDSET.  In business, having a positive, can-do, will-do mindset is one of the secrets to success.

Just what is mindset?  Mindset is:  a state of mind, frame of mind, attitude, approach, way of thinking, outlook.  And guess what?  Many people have a negative mindset.  A positive mindset, on the other hand, is always a work in progress.

Take a moment and think about someone who you think is successful; someone you would like to emulate.  Got it?  Okay, now think about their actions, their words, how they do things, what they do, what they say, how they present themselves, and how they conduct themselves.  What do you notice?  Do you notice someone who is confident and sure of themselves?  How about joyful, peaceful, engaging, exuberant, solid?  Someone with a positive mindset is all of those and more.

They especially do not make excuses, they do what they said they would do, they take chances, they get things done, they get up early and stay late, they never say “I can’t”, and they look for solutions and opportunities.  They don’t allow obstacles, other people or anything to get in their way.

A great mindset can propel you forward in your life and business, while a bad mindset can make your life miserable.  It’s up to you.  Do you want misery or do you want success?

For some people, they generally have a good mindset but they allow things to get in the way and throw them off course.  Either way, having a negative mindset or one that allows you to get thrown off course will — without a doubt — hold you back, make things more difficult for you and lead to overall unhappiness.

I really want you to master your mindset.  Here are several questions to help you mind your mindset so that you experience all the success you want!

  • Is it your thought?  One thing I discovered about myself a long time ago was that I had thoughts that weren’t mine.  Well, they were in my head but they weren’t my thoughts.  I realized that I had been programmed by comments and opinions from other people.  I’d hear someone say “Look at that person; they aren’t a good person.”  So the next person I saw who closely resembled that person, I’d automatically think “Well, that person isn’t a good person.” But was that true?  Probably not!  So when you have a thought, question it, challenge it.  Is it your real opinion or one of a colleague, friend or parent?  Make sure you are thinking your thoughts and not someone else’s.
  • Does thinking this way help me move forward?  If the answer is yes, fantastic.  If no, it’s time to question your thinking.  If you think “I’m not good enough to do this” or “I have no business doing this” ask yourself why you think that.  Nine times out of ten it’s because you might not feel confident in what you are about to do and/or you need additional info.  So what is a different thought that you can have?  “I am good enough and will learn how to do this” or “I know exactly why I want to do this and will absolutely make it happen.” Consciously swap your negative thoughts for positive ones.
  • What am I afraid of?  Often a negative mindset is driven by fear.  Fear of failure, fear of being rejected, fear of losing love.  (I could go on but I think you get what I’m saying.)  What are you afraid of?  Lots of times your mindset is directly related to that fear.  I once had a client who was afraid to talk to his wife about money; he had made a few mistakes and was afraid she wouldn’t love him anymore.  This negative mindset lead to much stress and anxiety… and you know what that lead to, an even more negative mindset.  We walked through an exercise for this and once he realized what he was afraid of he was able to let it go.

In the end, a negative mindset is destructive!  However, these tips will get you started on the road to changing your ‘stinking thinking’ for something more positive, enlightening and constructive for you.

I’d love for you to share your experience with your mindset, what you did to change it and what results you got.  Feel free to send me a personal email or post below here on my blog!

Filed Under: Personal Development, Self Worth Tagged With: , , , , ,

Are you doing some funky, not-so-constructive things?

January 8, 2015 By

Going Around in Circles Words on Circle RibbonsIt’s a new year!  I’m very excited.  I am all about doing something different so that I get the results that I want.  I know that if I continue to do what I’ve always done, I’ll get what I’ve always gotten.  And while there are things that I would like to continue, there are many things that I want to change.  Some of that is in my personal life and some of that is in my business.

I’m a big fan of TV shows The Profit and The Biggest Loser – why?  These shows allow the viewers to see the personal side of the people involved.  While The Profit revolves mostly around money as the focal point and The Biggest Loser around weight, both of the shows have a very heavy dose of emotion driving the actions, decisions and behaviors.  What is fascinating to me as a coach and someone who helps others with transforming their life, is how people get themselves stuck into situations that are mind-baffling and feeling as if the weight of the world is on their shoulders (no pun intended).

On The Profit people create financial chaos for themselves and their business, and on The Biggest Loser people create unhealthy chaos for themselves and their loved ones.  The beauty of both of the shows (and yes I know there are lots of behind-the-scenes stuff that we don’t know about) is that in the end, each person has their own breakthrough or aha that gets them seeing their situation in a new light — and that is where the transformation takes place.  Emotions and feelings hold us back if we aren’t aware of them and they can hold us prisoner and make us do some really funky, not-so-constructive things.

Dolvett once said “You don’t have to be great to start but you have to start to be great.”  I had to write that down.  Now I say it to myself every day and it has helped me to get started when I’ve been stuck.  It helps me to keep taking the steps daily, weekly, monthly so I reach my goals that I set for myself both personally and professionally.  It’s both emotionally grounding and awe inspiring.  We can use our emotion to create positive, sustainable change and results.

So what do you need do to start on your road to greatness?  Lose weight, get in shape, straighten out your money madness, be better at something?  Whatever it is, just do one thing.  We all have greatness, and if you are not sure what your greatness is, click here http://amzn.to/1xyBhoe and get my colleague, Jay Forte’s amazing book, The Greatness Zone.

May 2015 be your greatest year yet!

Filed Under: Reaching Goals, Weight loss Tagged With: , , ,

Did you get what you wanted?

December 18, 2014 By

How to Get What You Want Clipboard Checklist Dream Plan Do ItIt’s the end of the year! WOW, where did a whole year go? Can you answer that without having to look back at your calendar? If you can, I’m impressed. And I hope you can. It means that you are living a life on purpose; you are the cause of your life rather than being at the effect of it. For that you get a big “Congratulations!” I’d love for you to share how you do it. See, there are many people who are living their life at the effect of everything and everyone around them. I’ve written about that in the past and, in fact, I call it ‘being a victim’. It’s energy level 1 in my Energy Leadership Index Assessment.

As a business owner, if you can easily share with someone your top successes and accomplishments then you are probably among the select 2% of successful business owners out there. You more than likely have a vision, a plan, take action and course-correct.

If not, don’t worry. I’m here to help you. The below outline is a very quick way for you to have 2015 be all that you want it to be… even if 2014 was a bit disappointing to you.

My last article outlined my mentor Mark Luterman’s 5 Secret Weapon Steps. Here they are again:

  1. Purpose – what is your purpose, what is it you want to do, what end result do you wish to have?
  2. Plan – from your purpose, what is it you will do in order to reach your goals? Create a well thought-out plan of action so that you know the exact steps you will take to have your purpose materialize.
  3. Action – rather than just waiting for things to happen, you need to go out and do things. From your plan where you created the exact steps, it’s time to take action on them to realize results.
  4. Desire to Accomplish – this is your motivation for doing the actions to move you closer to your goals.
  5. Faith, Belief and Confidence – you must have faith in yourself, belief that you can and will accomplish your goals, and confidence to take the actions you laid out for you — no matter what — in order to reach your goals.

In the Small Business Secret Weapon process we also work with a bonus step and that is: exercise the principle of autosuggestion. This means that as you take action and complete to-dos and tasks, stuff starts to happen. You run into someone who can help you move closer to your goal, you get an unexpected but needed surprise, and so much more.

I often do VIP days with my clients so that they can start outlining what they want for their business and what they will do to get it. We take a day to do this together but you can do this for yourself. I suggest you take several hours so that you can get very clear on what it is you want. Find a quiet place where you can spend some time and get comfortable. Have a notebook and writing instrument or your computer/tablet so that you can write down your ideas and your plan.

Here is what you are going to do:

  • Define your purpose. State your overall purpose and then all the other reasons you are doing what you are doing or want to do. Get very clear, visualize how you will feel, what you will be doing, and don’t leave anything out – allow yourself time to create this.
  • Write out your roadmap. This is your to-do list so to speak. You will do x in order to reach $100,000 this year or x to get your business started and so on – write out each step that you can think of. While you want to be very clear, don’t worry about being so specific that you get caught up here. Remember, your bonus step from above will help you here!
  • Schedule your actions. Put each step that you have in your calendar so that you know what you will do and when. If you have a deadline such as ‘launch new business’, that goes into the future, and then you put the actions that lead up to that date closer to the present so you can take action to get there.
  • Write out the reason(s) you desire to accomplish your goals. Be as detailed as you can. This is your touchstone so that when things get a bit challenging, you can come back to this to motivate you back into action. It will act as your motivator. Examples: I want to quit my full-time job and work for myself; I want to send my children to college without having to take out loans; I want to retire by 50; I want to do what I love and be my own boss; or I want to be available to my kids. It is what is important to you in your life. Do not judge, this is strictly for you.
  • Write out why you have faith, belief and confidence. This is another touchstone. I have faith because I know I will be successful, I have faith that this will be exactly as I envision it, and I am confident that I will succeed.

Be as detailed as possible, envision all that you want to accomplish and see yourself accomplishing it. Trust that once you begin taking action, opportunities will find you because the bonus step is real, it does happen.

I’d love for you to share your experience. Feel free to send me a personal email at kim @ kimravida.com or post on my blog below! And if you find that you need help with this or just want someone to walk you through each step, I have several VIP slots available, so give me a shout! And if you want the support of me and a group, there are a few spaces available in my group mastermind program too.

Filed Under: Reaching Goals Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

I certainly do not want my destiny to be Overwhelm!

December 4, 2014 By

DestinyOverwhelm was taking over my life.  I felt more and more stressed out and it was bordering on anxiety.  I knew that something different had to happen and it needed to be something drastic.   I knew I needed to make a change and I wanted it to make a positive impact on my life.   

Each time I thought about ‘overwhelm’ I became even more overwhelmed and it wasn’t getting me anywhere.  So that is why decided to take the word out of my vocabulary.  I knew if I stopped saying it, I wouldn’t feel it.  You might be thinking “How does that make any sense?”  Well, I believe that our thoughts create our actions which create our destiny, and ultimately then our thoughts create our destiny.  I certainly do not want my destiny to be overwhelm.  I know what I want my destiny to be, I know what I want to feel, I know what I want to have in my life… and it isn’t overwhelm!

Therefore, by taking it out, I no longer invited it in.  Often though when something comes out something else replaces it, and unless you are very clear about what you want to come in, it is usually something equally negative.  As I was thinking about what I wanted to change, I thought about what I wanted instead.  In my business I wanted peace of mind, ease of execution, and to feel calm.  I wanted to feel productive and happy with what I got done during my day.  Since working in my business was where I felt the most overwhelm, I started there.

It was amazing what happened once I stopped saying it.  Yes, it did take me some time to get out of that habit of just having “I’m so overwhelmed!” pop out of my mouth.  I had to create a reminder for myself.  So I wrote down on a piece of paper what I wanted to feel instead:  Peace of Mind, Ease of Execution and Feel Calm.  I put it where I could see it every day.  Once I began to tap into the feelings I wanted, it began to feel easy and best of all I was able to remove “that word” from my vocabulary because I didn’t need it anymore!  Each day I feel more and more at ease, have peace of mind and it’s a beautiful thing to feel calm regularly.

Now, my guess is that you don’t want to live your life in overwhelm either.  Decide what aspect of your life has the most of ‘it’ and make a conscious decision about how you want to feel instead.  Remember to write it down and keep it close to you.  Read it daily so you’ll be reminded why you set out to make this change.  Then watch what happens in your life!

Filed Under: Personal Development Tagged With: , , , ,

It’s Up to Me!

November 20, 2014 By

what do you want questionDid you know that you are the one responsible for happiness in your life?  That’s right, you are.  There’s only you to blame if you don’t have what you want in your life.  If you want a better relationship, you need to be the one to create a better relationship.  If you want a dream job, you need to be the one to create a dream job.  If you want more money, you need to be the one to create more money.  You may notice I’m using the word create here.  That’s because you get to create what you want.  It all starts with you.

What?  Yes, I know that is a scary concept for some of us while for others it’s a Yahoo! and a permission-granter.  See, no one can make us happy, give us joy or help us feel better about ourselves; only we can do that.  And in order to do that we must know: 1) what we want and 2) how to get it.  It’s all about the plan, man.  Create a blueprint, a roadmap of what you will do in order to get what you want.

I’ve said it before in other articles and you’ve probably heard it elsewhere too, but if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.  You operate blindly and without purpose.  Purpose is key to getting what you want.

Let’s look at the 5 steps to your success.  This is adapted from Mark Luterman’s 5 Secret Weapon Steps that I use with my business clients.

  1. Purpose – what is your purpose, what is it you want to do, what end result do you wish to have?
  2. Plan – from your purpose, what is it you will do in order to reach your goals?  Create a well thought-out plan of action so that you know the exact actions you will take to have your purpose materialize.
  3. Action – rather than just waiting for things to happen, you need to go out and do things.  From your plan where you created the exact actions, it’s time to take action on them to actualize results.
  4. Desire to Accomplish – this is your motivation for doing the actions to move you closer to your goals.
  5. Faith, Belief and Confidence – you must have faith in yourself, belief that you can and will accomplish your goals, and confidence to take the actions you laid out for you — no matter what — in order to reach your goals.

In the Small Business Secret Weapon process we also work with a bonus step and that is: exercise the principle of autosuggestion.  This means that as you take action and complete to-dos and tasks, stuff starts to happen.  You run into someone who can help you move closer to your goal, you get an unexpected but needed surprise, and so much more.

This is how you create what it is you want: a great relationship, dream job, amazing health and wealth.  You get clear, you plan, you act, you stand in your own power and you start to see results.  Give it a go and see what comes to you.  It’s a great time to plan for what you want to realize next in your life.  Right now is always the best time to plan.  No waiting necessary.  What is it you want?  What will you do to get it?  If it’s meant to be, it’s up to you!

I’d love for you to share your experience.  Feel free to send me a personal email at kim@kimravida.com or post below!

 

Filed Under: Reaching Goals, Self Worth Tagged With: , , , ,

How Happy Are You?

November 13, 2014 By

Are you happy - doodleI love this question.  I often ask my clients this.  Usually they tell me they aren’t very happy and it always makes me sit up straight.  Why are they unhappy?  What could be making them unhappy? From my perspective they have thriving businesses, healthy families, and lots of things going well for them.  I know this because we start our coaching sessions with celebrations and accomplishments.  So for them to later say that they aren’t very happy always takes me by surprise.

It turns out they didn’t get a client they thought there were going to get, their day didn’t go as planned, they got a bill they forgot about, something was more money than they expected.  At home, their kids aren’t behaving, their husband isn’t cooperating or something is going on that they don’t like.  Some have sickness in their families or in themselves.  Whatever it is, it’s bringing them down from feeling like they can be happy.

I try to teach them that their happiness is directly related to how they feel about themselves and the world around them.  It’s how they see all the things that are in their life (or not) and how they feel about them.  And this goes for you too.

Say you are trying to lose weight, and are taking steps to do so, but are not seeing much progress.  Yet your gym buddy is shedding the pounds faster than you can say “hey”.  In this scenario you might feel bad about yourself, which in turn will make you feel like you are not happy.  But wait a minute… what if you were to congratulate your gym buddy, be happy for her and be happy with what you have accomplished so far?  Do you think that might shift you away from feeling bad?  You bet!  What happens is you now take the focus off of her and the judging of yourself off of you, and put your attention on yourself and what you have done.

Happiness really comes from our feelings, which comes sometimes from our perceptions, thoughts, beliefs, patters, behaviors and experiences.

Stop for a moment and ask yourself, “In this moment, what am I feeling?”  One of the things that I have been practicing, as well as sharing with my clients — and pretty much everyone because I think it’s so impactful — is a line in Eckhart Tolle’s book the Power of Now.  He says “Focus your attention on the Now and tell me what problem you have at this moment.”  It’s insightful because if you truly focus on the Now, you can’t have a problem.  A problem usually is born when we are in the future and thinking about what might happen to us or others.

In order to be happy more of the time, be in your present moment because that is all you have.  If you have a moment that isn’t to your liking, then do something about it.  Make a change, take an action, do something.  Simply by changing how we think and feel, we can change the experience we have.

Let me give you an example.  I had a relative that was sick for a long time — I’m talking months in and out of the hospital.  Things needed to be done, meetings held with the medical staff, organization of personal bills, and care for the house and such.  There were a lot of drop-everything-and-race-to-the-hospital moments.  It was stressful and, no, I was not happy for many reasons.  My relative whom I love was sick and in pain, I had to put my own life and business on hold for days sometimes, and I had to say no to a lot of opportunities both in my personal life and business because we needed to care for our relative.  So when I asked myself if I was happy, the answer was been no.

Then I realized I was not living in my Now! Instead I was living in the land of the “what ifs” — and not the what-if-something-great-happens.  I recognized that I never have a problem in my Now.  My problems arise when I set foot outside of Now and go into Future.  I realized I could be happy when I went the hospital and that absolutely helped my sick relative as I wasn’t bringing all my doom and gloom in when I visited.  Of course, it helped me feel better and all of a sudden, things around me started to look better.

We only have one life to live.  It’s important for us to remember that we are the driver of our life and we have a right to be as happy as the next person.  So pay attention to your feelings, your thoughts, your actions… and take note.  “Am I happy?  What do I need to let go of in order to be happy?  Is it a feeling?  Is it a thought? Is it an action?”

Today, give yourself permission to be happy — as happy as you want — because it’s the greatest gift you give to yourself, those around you and the world.

Would you like to share an experience you had when you decided to be happy?  Please feel free to share either by sending me a personal email at kim@kimravida.com or post your comment below!

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