What’s Money Got To Do With It?

June 10, 2013 By

financial freedomIf you are trying to lose weight and are unsuccessful, chances are you need some help.  Asking for help is a sign of strength, yet so many people are reluctant to do it.  The main reason I hear is lack of money.  People say “I can’t afford it.”  Yet in my book, that’s an excuse.  I hear lots of excuses from my group and private clients, and it usually all comes back to the mighty dollar.

A coaching client of mine recently lost a significant amount weight, yet she continued wearing her old plus-size clothes when she should have been wearing a size 10-12!  Why?  She told me she couldn’t spend money on clothes because they are expensive and, besides, she still had weight to lose.  As a coach I am supposed to be completely non-judgmental, yet I really got upset with her.  She made these significant strides forward in her health and fitness, creating a great healthy life for herself, yet she was sabotaging her success by wearing clothes that didn’t fit, didn’t look good, and she felt bad wearing!

After getting to the bottom of why she felt she couldn’t spend money, she realized she was caught up in an old money story (we all have them).  She grew up with the message that you “wear the clothes that you have because they are decent clothes and good money was spent on them”.  So we worked on her money stories (oh yes, she had more than one).  In the end she was finally able to go out and spend some money on herself with a clear conscious.  She got new outfits that were flattering to her new figure—and guess what?  She felt like a million bucks after that.

You can see how that mindset of “I can’t afford” isn’t supportive or healthy when it comes to self esteem.  All of us have ingrained messages, which we often aren’t aware of, that hold us back.  Coaching is great at bringing these messages to the surface so we can address them and move on.  Once we know what to look for, we can see them coming from a mile away and head them off before they do any damage.

Since they tend to show up as excuses, here are just a few I hear all the time that are related to money (and old money stories) as well as some tips for letting them go.

Excuse 1:  It’s too expensive, I can’t afford it.  “It” usually pertains to something that—if you did it, bought it, got it or had it—would  make your life easier or better in some way, but you use the fallback excuse above.  It’s so easy to say; it feels comfortable coming out of your mouth and you are used to saying it.  When you hear yourself saying “I can’t afford it, it’s too expensive”, ask yourself what old money story makes you think that way.  Then ask yourself how would you feel if you did have it; what would your life be like?  It might just be that you can’t afford not to have it.

Excuse 2:  I’m not ready to spend the money yet.  When will you be ready?  How is waiting to be ready to spend the money for what you want going to bring you any closer to it?  In weight loss, how is not being ready to buy new clothes helping you?  You have an opportunity to look and feel good immediately yet you make an excuse not to.  Be ready wherever you are.  Change your money story to “I am ready and willing to spend the money now to feel and look great because I am worth it!”

Excuse 3:  I can’t… Clients have said to me:  “I can’t afford a gym membership to get in shape” or “I can’t afford to eat healthy”… I can’t, I can’t, I can’t.  Again, in my book that’s just a bunch of BS.  Here’s why.  Think about something you wish you had done differently in your past, like not joining a gym last year when you first wanted to lose weight or not buying the adorable outfit you saw a few months ago that you really wish you had now the weather is nice.  So now notice the feeling of disappointment or regret you’re experiencing.  Not fun, is it?  Stop having regrets and being disappointed!  What is one thing you want to do but are saying “I can’t”?  Go and do it.

I suggest you tell everyone you are close to and spend time with regularly that you are on a journey.  Whether it’s to improve health and fitness or dissecting your money story or something else, getting help and having accountability to reach your goals will be easier when you have support. It will help you get from “I can’t” to a resounding “I can… and will!”

Go out and spend some money on yourself and feel on top of the world because of it!

I’d love to hear your thoughts; drop me an email or feel free to share your insights and revelations below!

P.S. If you are still having a hard time and feel disorganized and frustrated with money, send me an email.  I have a wonderful new program that might be a good fit for you.  It will bring you financial freedom and inner worth by helping you remove any limits on your money story.  Just put in the subject line:  I want financial freedom!

Filed Under: Self Worth Tagged With: , , , , ,

Do You Think Confidence Equals Success?

May 24, 2013 By

Thermometer - Confidence Level

If you said yes, you would be on the right path to your success.  Confidence plays a huge role in our personal and professional lives.  When we are confident and feel good about what we are doing and how we are doing it, we do more of it and that brings more success.

Take weight loss for example.  I have several clients who felt a lot of doubt about whether they could get in shape and be healthy.  (By the way, doubt is the antonym of confidence.)  What they learned was that their success was directly related to confidence.  And oh yeah, once they started to see that, boy did they get amazing results!

Don’t take my word for it.  Just ask 22-year-old Torey Krug a Boston Bruins defenseman who played most of the season in the minor league.  Inserted into the Bruins lineup during the playoffs due to injuries of veteran players, he scored two amazing goals in his first two games.  He was asked by a local broadcaster what he thought attributed to his success.  Torey’s answer:  confidence.  Keep in mind this kid was no Wayne Gretzky out of college.  He went undrafted.  Could he have felt doubt, sure, but he didn’t because he knows the road to success is paved with confidence.

“Ya but…” I can hear you saying.  It’s normal to feel doubt, uncertainty, hesitation and all the feelings of ‘I can’t’.  But really, what if you could?  What if you could feel confident right now no matter what?  How would that change your outlook?  What would you do?

Here are three tips to help you feel more confident so that what you want to achieve seems to simply appear.

Tip 1:  Think back to a time when you felt really great about accomplishing something.  Was it when you finally got off the couch and took a walk or got the courage up to join a group exercise class or began a weight loss program and lost weight right away?  Whatever it was, tap into those feelings.  Those are your touchstones for recalling a feeling confidence and ultimately success.  Write down those feelings and read them regularly – daily is a good idea and first thing in the morning and often last thing in the evening (and during the day if needed).  This helps you maintain a high level of confidence.

Tip 2:  Keep the reason you want to reach your goal top of mind.  When you know why you are doing something, it is much easier to stick to it.  If you decide you are finally getting off the seesaw of diet and exercise and making changes that are part of a healthy and fit lifestyle —write down your whys.  They might be because you want to:  look great, feel energized, join in family outings or participate in your life again rather than sit on the sidelines.  Write them all down and then—just like your feelings of confidence—review them often.

Tip 3:  Get the support you need.  Ask a trusted friend to hold you accountable to your actions and behaviors.  Don’t forget to have them help you though the rough points, too, when you aren’t feeling the confidence you want to reach your success.  Hire a coach.  A coach is someone who is completely on your side, they have your best interests at heart and they are not attached to the outcome which means they are solely there for you and your success.  A coach can help you through the doubts and to feeling and being confident faster.  My clients have reached their goals because they stepped up and worked with me.  I also have a coach, and I can personally attest to having way more confidence and success simply by having a coach on my side.

I challenge you this week to pay attention to when you are feeling doubt.  How and when does it appear… and what follows?  Can you turn it around and stride confidently toward your success?  I bet you can.  I’d love for you to share your thoughts, insights and revelations below!

Filed Under: Personal Development, Reaching Goals Tagged With: , , ,

Are You Healthy And Wealthy?

May 13, 2013 By

Health Wealth Happiness signpostAre you thinking, “What an odd question?”  If you are, then maybe you aren’t healthy and wealthy!  As a business owner and fitness expert, I know that being healthy is really what makes the business wealthy.

How so?  Well, if we are unhealthy and feeling out of sorts, we don’t have the energy to run our business.  We are not able to effectively execute all that we need to do as a business owner.  We don’t feel like doing it, plain and simple, and then we will force ourselves to do stuff.  When we are sluggish and lethargic, everything seems to take so long.  It feels like such an effort and we never seem to get anything done… and if we do, we find we have made tons of mistakes and have to re-do things.

This is no way to live!

However, when we are healthy we have a lot of energy to run our businesses.  We go to networking events and put our best foot forward to connect with people and make follow-up coffee appointments to get to know the other person better.  We effortlessly tackle our to-do lists and we complete so much more… and we do it right the first time!  New projects excite us and everything is fun.

So you can see how being healthy leads to being wealthy.  Today I am sharing with you three of my top tips for being—and staying—healthy while running and growing your business (and if you don’t have a business, no problem, you can use these tips in living your life).  When I follow these throughout my work day, I feel great and get more done which equals better health and wealth!

  • Tip 1:  Get plenty of sleep.  Most business owners (most people for that fact) don’t get enough sleep.  Give yourself a bedtime and stick to it.  Create a routine around your bedtime so that you have plenty of time to wind down after your day.  Research shows that we need more time than we think to get the sleep our bodies require.  There is no sense jumping into bed without relaxing first because your body and your mind have no time to shift from being active to becoming (then being) inactive.
  • Tip 2:  Drink plenty of water.  Water is key to our survival.  When we are dehydrated we feel tired, sluggish and irritated.  Simply drinking enough water for your body weight is the key to keeping your energy levels up as well as staying focused on what you are doing.  Plus you’ll have breaks built in because you’ll need to get up to go to the restroom!  It’s kind of like a failsafe so that you aren’t stuck sitting at your desk or your workstation for ridiculously extended periods of time with no movement.  Get a fun water bottle or glass and note how many ounces it holds, then aim to drink as many glasses to equal at least 32 oz. if not 64.
  • Tip 3:  Take a break:  You thought I was going to say exercise.  Well yes, that is true.  BUT really what needs to happen is a break, whether it is 5 minutes or a day off.  When you work, work, work, you cannot succeed in being health and wealthy.  The reason is that our brains and bodies need periods of rest to renew and refresh.  Our thinking goes stagnant without breaks as does our bodies (that’s where the exercise comes in).

That’s it – start with those three simple tips and drop me a line on how you feel.  I’d love to compare notes or share your thoughts, insights and revelations below.  Need more help?  Contact me and we can talk about how your health can improve your wealth.

Filed Under: Wellness Tagged With: , , ,

So You Want to Lose Weight

April 22, 2013 By

day plannerCongratulations, you made a decision to lose weight!  Once you lose it, my guess is that you would like to maintain that healthy weight loss.  If so, that’s another fabulous decision on your part!  Okay then, what have you decided to do about setting the time aside to lose weight?  Oh right, you forgot about that part.

In my experience, the number one reason someone fails to begin a weight loss program is because they feel it is going to take a lot of their time.  It’s true; it can if you let it.  However, with some planning, weight loss doesn’t have to take up your day.  And once you get into a new routine, you create a habit and it becomes second nature.

I always tell my clients, “In the beginning, you will struggle.”  Whether they realize it or not, usually that is the reason they hire me.  They know I am there to hold their hand, help them figure out ways that work specifically for them and to pick them up when they fall down.

Here’s a tip: the joy in reaching any goal is in the journey.  That’s right, the good stuff as well as the not-so-good stuff.  See, it is in the not-so-good stuff where the greatest accomplishments lie.

Trying to change a habit, a behavior, a way of being is not easy but it is so worth it.  Until it becomes ‘just what you do’ and you no longer question it or struggle with it, you need to figure out a plan to make it work.

Here are three things for you to think about as you set off on your journey to losing weight and keeping it off.

  • Change how you think about time.  You might think time is limited – but is it really?  You do only have a certain number of hours in a day – everyone does – so how can you utilize time to work for you?  Try this.  List out what tasks you do in a day, then approximate how long it takes you to do each.  Before you actually begin a task, note the time and write it down.  When you end a task, note the time again and see how long it actually took you.  Seeing how long things truly take you will be big eye opener.  Most people are shocked at the time they lose during a day because they think something is going to take ‘just a moment’.
  • Are you satisfied with how you spend your time on a daily, weekly or monthly basis?  On a scale of 1-10, rate your level of satisfaction with how you spend your time.  Go back to your list and rate each of your daily tasks.  If something isn’t an eight or higher, challenge yourself to stop doing it.  In other words, if you are wasting your time on things that do not bring satisfaction, you will have no time for the things that will bring you satisfaction.
  • Map out your day in time blocks.  It’s easy to say “I don’t have the time”, but you do.  When you know how long your tasks actually take you, schedule them on your daily calendar.  It will help you visualize where your time goes.  You will see where you are losing time and also where you can fit in exercise, shopping for and preparing healthy foods, and taking time for yourself.  If you don’t have enough time for everything, then you need to re-evaluate your priorities.

Following my tips above will help you create the time you need for your weight loss success.  Truly, time is on your side.  Tell me your new plan or share your thoughts, insights and revelations below!

Filed Under: Reaching Goals, Weight loss Tagged With: , , ,

When Nothing Else Works

April 8, 2013 By

This week’s article is courtesy of my colleague, by Jeanna Gabellini, CPCC – MASTERPEACE Coaching & Training – http://www.MasterPeaceCoaching.com.  Enjoy!

When Nothing Else Works, Use This Strategy for Weight Loss and Increased Profits

 

I recently posted on Facebook that I lost 15 pounds in six weeks. Of all the topics I’ve covered before, this one received the most “likes” and comments. I was shocked. Naturally, people really wanted to know my secret.

The short answer: I went on a raw foods cleanse and joined the gym.

The majority of people who tried this would not get the same results. That’s because there is so much more to the story than diet and exercise.

The real story about my long-desired weight loss?

When I got pregnant with baby #2, I set the intention of manifesting my ideal body after his birth. I lost a ton of weight in those first few months, but my body would not release those last 25 pounds.

My baby’s sleep pattern kept me from sleeping through the night until just recently. And that lack of sleep made me feel very unlike myself. I was out of balance with two kids, a business to run and no energy.

When you feel like that, you begin manifesting lots of stuff you don’t want. I got sick more often; I was cranky; and while my gross income kept rising, so did my expenses.

Every day I looked in the mirror and was irritated by what I saw. The same thing happened every time I looked at my expenses. There came a point where I said, “My mission is not to lose weight or decrease expenses. I have to be okay right where I am right now —tummy pooch and sky-high bills included”.

By the way, it wasn’t like I wasn’t doing anything to solve my weight and overhead issues. I consistently exercised, from the moment I healed from childbirth. I also implemented all the strategies my team and coaches suggested to increase my profits and decrease my expenses. But I still saw no huge improvement in either department.

However, once I stopped complaining — inwardly and outwardly — about my situation and made peace with myself, things began shifting. I was inspired to do a raw food cleanse because I felt for years that my diet was out of balance (I rarely ate fruits and veggies).

As I prepared for the cleanse, I realized I wasn’t truly enjoying the exercise program I’d been doing. I immediately stopped and joined a gym to do one thing: lift iron — my favorite way to exercise since I was 16. I hadn’t been in a gym like this for over five years. It was exhilarating!

Then I was challenged by my team and coach to hire more help. I did but it fell apart before we made traction. However, it led to new choices that made me feel better about outsourcing.

And during the month that I was making all these changes, I redid my entire schedule so it was 100% supportive of my desires concerning family and business.

The results: weight loss; a huge shift in the way I related to time; profit margins significantly increasing; and … I am extremely happy. I feel more at peace than I have in years.

So what’s the strategy?

  • Stop whining and complaining about what is. Make peace with it, even if you want something very different from your current reality.
  • Make small changes to create peace in your life right now, with what you have.
  • Take action on your inspired ideas to feel fulfilled, not because you’re desperate for results.

A very important part of my success was because I didn’t base my joy on my results. There were many days during this process that I had to release irritation when the scale, my bank account or free time didn’t look the way I wanted. After I created my ideal schedule lots of things threatened to push me back into my old mode of operation.

I made peace with the mission, not perfectly implementing my cleverly crafted plan. I’m still a work-in-progress but I have no doubt where I’ll be a month from now … and I’m not attached to the outcome. =)

Jeanna Gabellini is a Master Business Coach who assists high achieving entrepreneurs, corporate leaders & their teams to leverage fun, systems and intentionality for high-octane results. An entrepreneur for 25 years she has a treasure trove of kick-butt tools to give you peace & profits. Get your complimentary audio “Transforming from Chaotic Entrepreneur to Conscious Leader” here: http://www.MasterPeaceCoaching.com/freecd.

Filed Under: Weight loss Tagged With: , ,

Want To Lose Weight? Start Paying Attention To Yourself.

March 25, 2013 By

SelfIf I told you that taking time for yourself would lead to weight loss, a better body and improved self-image, would you do it?  Many of my clients are super busy in both their personal and their professional lives.  However, when I work with them, they come to realize when they put themselves first they start to lose weight, feel great and look great.  They didn’t think they had time to do something for themselves, but once they saw that they did and what it did for them, they soon changed their tune.

Taking time for yourself gives you that pause.  In yoga we talk about the pause between the inhale and exhale, and wow, it is luxurious—you only need to experience it once to know how absolutely amazing it is.  In life we talk about that pause as peace of mind.  When you rush from one thing to the other, things get overlooked and you get overlooked.  In our quest for doing more, getting more done, and pleasing others we leave a lot of stuff out or just plain forget.

To demonstrate my point, have any of these happened to you?

  • You get out the door and realize you don’t have your car keys.
  • You realize that you forgot to brush your teeth as you drop your kids off at school.
  • You left the dog outside (that’s my personal opps) and he’s a barker.
  • You race to pick up the kids and they say “We thought you forgot us.”
  • You glance at yourself in the mirror and see that you look like a madwoman because you haven’t had your hair cut in oh-you-can’t-even-remember- when.
  • You forgot the presentation… or worse, you forgot you had a presentation.
  • You notice you have on one black shoe and one blue shoe.  (No lie; my female executives have this happen all the time)
  • Or again, worse, you realize you forgot your shoes and only have flip flops on with that beautiful business suit (which happens to be wrinkled) on the day of your important presentation.

Yes, many of my clients have had those things happen.  You didn’t think I made them all up did you?

However, many of these same clients have gone on to create their ideal image of themselves and their lives… and now live those ideals!  You can be exactly who you want to be, feeling great and looking great.

I know you are wondering how my clients have created—and now live—their ideal life.  Here are the three most important principles they followed.

  1. They created a vision of their ideal life.  They took the time to write out what they ideally wanted to have in their life.  Spend sometime this week and write out what you want from your life and in your life.  Write how you want to be, what you want to do and how it will look and feel when you have it.  Then keep it close and look at it regularly.
  2. They changed how they talked to themselves.  When we are unhappy about ourselves, it usually means there is a lot of negative self-talk going on.  “You are so stupid, how could you forget that presentation?”  “Oh sure, there you go again, eating all of the chips/cookies/candy, you’ll never lose that weight.”  Stop berating yourself for careless mistakes and remember you are human.  Change how you talk to yourself and about yourself and watch that bad body image and unwanted weight disappear.  And in its place you’ll find a new, beautiful you!
  3. They BOTHERED.  When you don’t have a clear vision of what you want your life to be like and look like and you engage in negative self talk, you are usually in a place of “why bother?”  You feel that nothing is going to change anyway, so…why bother.  People who are successful in their weight loss (or anything for that matter), do bother.  They take the time to make plans and then they carry them out.  To be successful you have to bother, you have to take action and you have to follow through.

I have so many clients who have bothered.  They bothered to take the time for themselves to make themselves look and feel better.  Take the time to bother with yourself.  Take the time to go to the hair and nail salon or the gym.  Hire a personal trainer or a coach.  Take your suits to the dry cleaners or get the iron out and do it yourself.  Organize your closet so the blue shoes are with the blues and the black shoes with the blacks!  Begin to eat better and look at yourself in a whole new light.

You’ll find that the self talk becomes more positive – and the results are amazing all because you bothered.  Weight loss, stress reduction, happiness and so much more will follow!  Watch it all work out in such remarkable ways!

So tell me, are you going to stay in that bad body image and negative self talk, being overweight, in ill health and ‘why bother’ state… or are you going to shed it all and shine?

Now if you pardon me it’s time for my manicure.  See, I practice what I preach.  It is important for me to take good care of myself.  I know it is such a big factor in my success both to my personal and professional life, so I’m off!

I would love to have you share what you do to take care of yourself!

 

Filed Under: Personal Development, Weight loss Tagged With: , , , , ,

Three Steps to Success

March 11, 2013 By

goals listIt’s a small, four-letter word and it isn’t even a bad one, though most of us shy away from it!  When we do, sadly we also fail to reach our goals.  I know you are eager to know what that word is.  It is PLAN.  It also means: map, chart, diagram, sketch, and arrangement.  Simple enough, right?  Well then why do people not plan for their success?

This is a subject that constantly comes up.  We all have heard the quote “when you fail to plan you plan to fail.”  And it means that when you don’t set goals, wants, or intentions (or whatever you like to call them) you have no way of getting what you want!

With my coaching clients, we set specific plans together.  They know exactly what they are going to do, when and how.  When I work with my in-person fitness groups, they also set a plan for how they are going to reach their goals while they are in my program.

Let’s take weight loss… or even eating better.  You might not need to lose weight but I can almost bet at one point or another in your life you have said “I would like to eat better” or a variation of that.  (However, if you haven’t, please reach out to me.  I’d love to hear how you eat healthy on a regular basis; you are an inspiration!)  Most people say “I need to lose weight, I want to lose 10 lbs, I want to eat better, I need to eat better…” you get the idea.  And then that’s all they do.  That is as far as they get and then wonder why nothing happens.  Oh sure, they may go to the gym, walk, or cut back on certain foods, but there’s a missing piece.  There is no target, no date for when they will do this, and there is definitely no action plan.

Let’s see if I can’t help you move forward.  Here are three steps (I’m keeping it simple) for you to use to make your plan, follow through and experience the results of your plan.  By the way, this can be used for anything that you want to get or have in your life.  My big AHA was when I realized that I can use planning to get anything I want in my life – eating better, exercising more, and planning for a trip or an event.  Anything!

Step 1 – State what it is you want.  This is your goal, intention, target, purpose, and aim.  Get out some paper, a notebook, or your laptop and write this down.  This is your starting point.  Be as descriptive as possible.  “I will lose 10 lbs by eating healthy and exercising.”  State your end date, and make sure you give yourself ample time but not too much time.  You want it to be do-able but not so far into the future that you forget or don’t have anything to push you.

Step 2 – Create your roadmap.  This is where you write down all that you will do to reach your goals.  Using the goal above, here is an example:  “I will lose 10 lbs by eating healthy and exercising.  I will do this by going to the gym 2x a week and taking a cycling class and a muscle conditioning class.  I will plan out my meals and snacks for the week so that I know what I am eating and can shop for healthy ingredients.  I will drink 6-8 glasses of water a day.  I will keep track of my actions on my log sheet that I will create to hold myself accountable.  I will check in with my accountability partner weekly (or daily if I feel I need more support).  I am successful and I am already feeling great.  I am happy with my results.”  Make sure you end your plan with how you want to feel by using an “I am” statement.  It will help you stay on target to reach your goals!

Step 3 – Be accountable.  Another word for accountable is responsible.  Be in charge of your results and your destiny.  If you can’t trust yourself to do this, then you need to have a trusted friend or hire a coach.  This is the part where the rubber meets the road.  If you aren’t taking your steps, why?  When we tell others our goals, we almost always follow through.  It’s key to not try this on your own.  I recommend getting a notebook for you to track your actions and the results.  If you say you are going to drink 6 glasses of water a day (remember to be specific), how do you know that you did it?  Write it down; record it in a log sheet.  Keep yourself on target with useful tools like logs, plus they make it fun to report to your accountability partner.

That’s it!  The best part is that by keeping track of your goals, you see the results even if the scale didn’t budge.  You can see you are working at your goal and that by itself is such a great feeling!  It is all there and you can course-correct and make changes when you see something not working and do more of what is working.  That’s a beautiful thing!

I would love to hear how you do with following my three steps.  It doesn’t just have to be related to health, I’d love to hear how you have used them—or any tips—to be successful! Please share your thoughts, insights and revelations below!

Filed Under: Personal Development, Reaching Goals, Weight loss Tagged With: , , ,

How do you see stress?

February 25, 2013 By

stress ballDo you see stress as a bad thing?  Most of us do.  Guess what?  It doesn’t have to always be bad.  You can use stress to get things done, motivate yourself and feel good about reaching your goals.

I’m sure you are saying to yourself, “Hold on here, I am trying to get rid of stress, not take any more on!”  While that is true of the bad stress, also known as distress, what you may need more of is the good stress, eustress.  Eustress is stress that is deemed healthful or giving the feeling of fulfillment.  It helps us meet our goals, take action and eliminate the bad stress.  Physical exercise is a form of good stress–it is the action of working out that places some degree of stress on the body that ultimately develops and improves our lungs, heart and muscles.  It releases endorphins that help elevate our moods and protect from depression.

Ok, so aside from physical exercise being eustress, watching a scary movie, riding a roller coaster, and feeling excitement at the top of a ski slope are some other examples of eustress.  Athletes feel eustress prior to taking the field and speakers feel it before to giving their talk.  It often helps fuel us to keep moving forward, doing just a little bit more and more until we have met our objectives.

On the flip side, most of us know and understand the negative impacts in our lives from too much bad stress such as, but not limited to:

  • High blood pressure
  • High Cholesterol
  • Heart Disease
  • Depression
  • Diabetes
  • Obesity
  • Short Temper
  • Coping Challenges

Recognizing where you now, as a result of destructive stress, gives you the opportunity to change what is going on in your life whether it be poor health or poor relationships.

Here are a few suggestions to try as you change how you look at the stress to reduce and eliminate the bad stress:

  1. Stop looking at everything as negative.  It is natural to always say “I knew that was going to happen” or “Nothing works out the way it should.”  Instead, think along the lines of “Everything happens for a reason, and that wasn’t meant to be right now” or “Next time it’ll work out better.”  Look at what is going on in your life with a positive spin so that you can let go of negative feelings.
  2. Determine who is putting the bad stress on you.  Often it is you who puts the stress on you!  Sometimes, it is an outside force.  What matters is that you see where it is coming from and then take steps to change how you are reacting so that you respond in a way that is not stressful.
  3. Turn your attention to the outcome.  Make a plan and put deadlines on it so that you finish what you want to accomplish in a reasonable timeframe.  This puts the emphasis on the outcome and the deadline is the eustress.  Use the feelings of accomplishment as something that will motivate you.
  4. Remove the obstacles.  Do you have time stress, too much to do stress, or guilt stress?  Identify the obstacles and letting go or re-working them releases you to be stress-free.

Once you look at your stress differently, it’s time to put some eustress tactics into action.

  1. Challenge yourself daily.  If you work out, try a new exercise or add weight to your routine.  If you like to exercise outdoors, try a different route.  If you are afraid to speak up to someone, challenge yourself to speak up for yourself.
  2. Stop being afraid of trying something for the first time.  Afraid to ski?  Find the smallest hill and stand at the top, go down it and feel the excitement—that’s good stress!  Afraid to speak in front of people? Know that the feeling you will get when you’re done will be amazing and make it all worthwhile.  Again, the eustress will lift and carry you forward!
  3. Don’t mistake your stress.  Often something that feels scary really is good stress.  It’s easier to just say “I’m so stressed” no matter what the circumstances because it is a habit and it feels comfortable.  That stress may be what you need to accelerate your life!
  4. Obstacles can move you forward.  Are you avoiding doing something or constantly doing something that causes you anxiety?  It could be that you once you tackle and accomplish them, you can lay that pressure aside or discover that you just took one giant leap ahead.

Remember, stress does not have to be bad—as you can see, it can be good.  The trick is to adopt the attitude to have more eustress and less distress.  That is where the freedom lies, where the accomplishment lies and where the joy lies.

Now that you see stress differently, how will your life be better?  How will you be better?  Feel free to share your thoughts, insights and revelations below!

Filed Under: Personal Development Tagged With: , ,

Do you like to be challenged?

February 11, 2013 By

Female boxerWhen it comes to exercise, most of us do not like to be challenged.  We are happy that we just made it to the gym, never mind exert extra energy!  Heck, we might even hurt ourselves and we wouldn’t want to do that.

Exercise brings up a lot of negative feelings for some people.  I have worked with women who can barely get to the gym.  And one of my clients tells me that she hates to exercise, but then in the same breath says “But I love the feeling afterward.”  So every week she comes to class and when I ask her to amp it up, she does.

Some people have very positive feelings around exercise.  Another client has experimented with a number of different classes and programs because she enjoys moving her body and loves the idea of going and doing new things.  I’m proud of both of them!

There are many reasons why people exercise.  Some want to:

  • Lose weight
  • Increase energy
  • Look good
  • Fit into their clothes
  • Increase self-esteem and confidence
  • Reduce cholesterol
  • Reduce high blood pressure
  • Reduce stress
  • To interact socially

Not many realize that by exercising you can change your physical body and health as well as stretch and challenge your mind too.  You can change your outlook on life, your viewpoint on a certain situation, and even have a brainstorm about an issue you have been facing.

When we challenge our body, we also challenge our mind.  It’s being open and receptive to new things, fresh exercises, pushing ourselves to lift more and move faster, or do the same exercise perhaps in a new way that allows both our body and mind to grow and improve.

When you do the same routine day after day, month after month, you get the same results.  Many of my clients tell me “I need to do something different.  I need to change something.  I need to be pushed.”  This is because they want to grow, they want to experience something new, and they want to be challenged.  And yes, there are some that don’t want to grow or change but that’s another article for another day.  I’m guessing that you are in it for the change and that you want to be challenged – even if you are saying you don’t – because you want to improve, to feel great and to look fantastic.

Here are four tips to challenge you to exercise differently:

  1. Workout in a group.  If you are used to working out on your own, try a group class.  There is a lot to be said about working out with others; you naturally will push yourself just a little bit farther.
  2. Hire a Personal Trainer.  If you are someone who needs that extra push, find a trainer that you connect with.  Tell them your goals and have them support you with them; often being directed is easier than trying to figure out what to do alone.
  3. Take a new class.  If you always take the same class (spin, Zumba, kickboxing), try a class with a different instructor.  You will not only learn new moves, you will hear different cues that will keep your attention focused on what might come next.
  4. Go to a new environment.  If you have been going to the same gym for a long time, check out another gym even if you just go for a trial or single workout.  You will be exposed to a new atmosphere which will get your brain to function differently and you’ll look at things with a fresh perspective.  They also may have innovative equipment that you have never seen or used before.

What is important is that you challenge yourself to not only work your body in a different manner but to think differently to expand your world.  There is such value in that – you never know, you may meet your future spouse, business partner or new best friend.  When you challenge yourself to step it up, the world opens up to you!

I would love to hear any experiences you have had or will have as you step forward into a whole new world!  Also, feel free to share your thoughts, insights and revelations below!

 

Filed Under: Reaching Goals, Self Worth, Weight loss Tagged With: , , , ,

Do you gain when you lose?

January 21, 2013 By

turn gain into lossWhat happens when you lose?  Lose weight that is.  When you lose weight, you gain so much more in your life!  It sounds too good to be true, right?  But it is true.

Admittedly, when you are constantly struggling to lose weight, you feel stressed, lose time, often have low self-esteem from feeling like you failed again, wondering why oh why the weight won’t come off and if it does, why doesn’t it stay off.  All of that and the negative feelings that surround your circumstance really can drag you down and keep you from living life like you want.

Yet when you do lose the weight and keep it off, you gain so much!  You gain the good stuff such as (and of course this is not an all-inclusive list):

  • Fitting into your favorite clothes with ease
  • Having a flatter stomach and smaller butt
  • Getting rid of those love handles, saddle bags, sandbags and not to mention that ugly back fat
  • Feeling really good about yourself
  • Enjoying the reflection of yourself and looking the way you want
  • Having stronger muscles
  • Experiencing more energy
  • Breathing easier
  • Moving freer and easier
  • Having more fun in your life
  • Gaining confidence and increased self esteem
  • Feeling happiness and peace of mind
  • Being able to get down on the floor and play with your kids or grandkids
  • Eliminating the need for medications
  • Having fewer doctor appointments

As you can see, losing really means gaining!  And what you gain is completely up to you.  You get to decide what it is you want to gain in your life.  Which of these do you want to have?

When I work with my clients, we begin by determining what they will gain in their lives.  It serves as motivation—their Big Why—and ultimately is the driving focus behind their weight loss success.  This ensures that success lasts longer than a day, a week or a month.  The results are long-term because they finally address the real issues as to why they did not have success in the past.

It is one thing to say “I want to lose weight” but entirely another thing to actually do what it takes to follow through on that desire.  The follow-through comes on the heels of the Big Why.  The Big Why keeps you from eating four slices of double cheese and pepperoni pizza or a bucket of wings all at once.  Of course, I am not saying this is easy.  Nothing worthwhile is.  Yet it also does not have to be as hard as you might often make it out to be.

I’m sure you are thinking “Okay, so why then does it seem so hard?”  It’s because as humans we like instant satisfaction rather than satisfaction over time.  We don’t want to wait to lose weight, we want it gone now.  Yet just as it did not take mere moments to put on, it does not take moments to take it off.  Eating that juicy cheeseburger or chocolate cake now is way more satisfying, but only for the moment!

So then which would you rather have, that moment of instant gratification by eating the junk food or the new gratifying lifestyle of when you finally reach your goal-weight and maintain it?

Once you discover your Big Why, your mindset will become clear and losing weight will actually become easy.  What will you gain when you make up your mind to finally lose the weight that has been holding you back in your life?

Please share your thoughts, insights and revelations on below!

Filed Under: Self Worth, Weight loss Tagged With: , , ,
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