Be confident and believe!

Believe You Can You're Halfway There Words Saying QuoteOne thing I realized when I first started to teach was that no matter what, I had to act as if I belonged in front of the room. So even if my inner gremlin was saying to me “Who do you think you are? You have no idea what you’re doing” or “You have no business teaching these people,” I had to put that voice aside and act as if I did belong there and that I did know what I was doing.

Truth be told, it wasn’t always easy. See, even if I made a mistake, I just kept going. I didn’t dwell on it in my head and I proceeded on. I acted like the expert… and well, I was. I was the one standing in the front of the room presenting my knowledge and my material. It was probably one of the hardest things I ever did in my life. But it was one of the most important things, too.

I was able to do this because I had learned that the number one secret to success is not what you know, what you do or how you do it… the secret to success is in your head. Your mindset. If you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t, well… you can’t.

Much has been written on mindset over the years. We have quotes from Henry Ford and Eleanor Roosevelt and the story of The Little Engine That Could, and yet we continue to talk ourselves out of success. We don’t give ourselves the credit to be confident. We believe we are less worthy others.

Oh boy, I seem to have gotten on a soap box. Well, while I am here, I might as well keep going.

I’ve taught numerous classes over the years and worked with many people in groups and individual settings. One thing I observe over and over is that there is a point where people will take themselves out of the game. They decide that they can’t do whatever it is they are asked to do… or even what they want to do. It truly isn’t that they can’t physically or mentally accomplish it; instead, they take themselves out psychologically. Their mindset is that they aren’t good enough or nor worthy.

But I always know that they can. I’ve seen countless expressions of amazement, astonishment and sheer joy when they do what they formerly believed they could not. I’ve shared in the tears and laughter when they realize they are greater than they once believed they were.

So the next time you think “I can’t do that”, I invite you to act as if you can and then do it. Because once you realize you can, there will be no stopping you.

Here are a few suggestions for you as you embark on your personal success track:

  1. Act as if. Act as if you can do or do know what you need to know in order to get it done.  Give yourself a pep talk. Simply saying “I can do this” or “I’ve got this” will help.
  2. Visualize yourself successful. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Visualize yourself being successful, whatever that is for you. Put yourself in the place you are going and see yourself standing tall and confident and acting from a place of empowerment.
  3. Make a list of your strengths. List those things which you know you are good at and read them daily. By keeping your strengths front and center, it will be easy to step into them any time you need to.

Truly, to be successful you have to be the greatest version of you that you already are!  You already are strong, confident and successful; you might just need to remind yourself of that.

Need more help acting as if and being your authentic self, I can help you.  Email me at kim @ kimravida.com.  And if you want to share your experiences or even tips, please post them below here on my blog!

 

Stop Automatically Listening to Others!

stop listeningOne thing I know for sure is that the best way to create stress in your life is to live your life according to someone else.  I know this because that is exactly what I did for many years.  I listened to what other people told me and I believed that they knew better than I did.

For me, I had a self-confidence issue.  I wasn’t confident in myself at all.  So when someone told me something – anything — I took it to be true, believed it and did it.  As in, I stayed with a job that was horrible, abusive and stressful for many years because I was told by my loved ones that I “had a good job”.  Of course they would say that!  They were on the outside looking in.  They saw I worked at a stable company, got paid well, had great benefits and so on.  What they couldn’t understand was how poorly I was treated on a daily basis, how stressful and negative the environment was, and how unsupporting management was.  My loved ones didn’t know my true feelings because they didn’t live my life.

Makes sense right?  Yet, because I didn’t believe in myself, I listened to them.  They must know better, than me.  They must know more because they are older than me.  They must know because of their experience.  That is what I thought!

I know better now.  There is no way they could know because they are not me.  My father had a saying “You don’t know what someone is going through unless you walk in their shoes, and since you only walk in your shoes be careful about judging someone else.”  Oh, this is so true!  We must be careful to not judge.  Because honestly, who are we to say what someone else should or shouldn’t do?

If only I knew then that my loved-ones couldn’t know better than me – about me – because they weren’t walking in my shoes.

If you are reading this, more than likely you are looking to clear your stress.  I have news for you that you might not like, but it is valuable.  If you bring it into your life, you’ll eliminate lots of your stress immediately.  Stop automatically listening to others.

Often people give us wonderful information that we might not have discovered and learned on our own — but you need to question, “Is this true for me?”  Also question who told you that, and are they the best person for you to listen to?  Can they absolutely know what you are going through, what you need to do, what you want to do?  Have they walked in your shoes?  Are they really trying to help or are they afraid that by you making a change, they will also have to change?  (That’s biggie and a topic for another day.)

Please remember, you are truly the only person who can decide what is best for you!  And that will go a long way to removing and clearing your stress in your life.

3 Secrets to Money Success

MoneyI love secrets!  But what is a secret? It’s something we usually can’t or don’t tell another.  Well, a secret can also be something that is undisclosed or hush-hush.  When it comes to women and money there are lots of secrets in the way of if you don’t tell or talk about it, it ain’t happening.

Well, I’ve got news for you, it IS happening and that usually isn’t good.  So I want to share with you three secrets.  Once I disclose these to you, and you know about them, you’ll be on your way to money success and happiness!

Secret #1:  Discover Your Money Patterns and Behaviors.  In other words, this is how you “do” money consciously or unconsciously.  And believe me, when it comes to money we all do things unconsciously.  You probably say you want more money and to be better at money.  Well, in order to have money success, you need to look at your patterns and behaviors.  One of the ways to identify your patterns and behaviors is to understand your money archetypes.  Archetypes represent a pattern of power within you.  Meaning stories, beliefs, motivations, fears, courage and perspectives.  They speak to you through your subconscious.  When you are aware of your money patterns, you’ll be able to see objectively how you handle your money: your spending and saving patterns, your decisions around money, what you do and what you don’t do. Ultimately you will be better at money so that you can start making the changes you want.

Secret #2:  Create a Positive Money Story.  What is your money story?  A money story is the narrative you tell yourself about money.  Some examples are:  Money is hard to make, I’m not good with money, money doesn’t grow on trees, and things of that nature.  Take a few moments and write down what the money story is that you grew up with.  Is it one that is serving you or is it holding you back?  If it isn’t serving you, change it!  You have the power to change what you believe about money.  Now, there is way more to this topic and when I work with my private clients, we go through several exercises to really get clear on this and to heal ingrained money beliefs and legacies.  But for now, just start thinking about what you want your money story to be right here in the present.

Secret #3:  Empower Your Voice.  Empower means:  Authorize – Allow – Sanction – Give Power to – Make Powerful.  What this means for YOU is that you get to do all those things for yourself.  By authorizing yourself, allowing yourself, sanctioning yourself to be, do and have all that you want, you give power to yourself (and make yourself powerful) simply by connecting with – and creating a healthy relationship with – your money.  Empowering Your Voice is about being confident to speak up for what you want and to get what you want.  Again, this is the tip of the iceberg here and when I work with my private clients we go through a very powerful exercise that has them empowering their voice in so many amazing and unsuspecting ways.  I’ve had women who, after going through the exercise with me, decide to stop hiding out from their spouses.  They finally have what they felt were hard conversations about money but which turned out to bring them closer to their spouse.  I’ve had clients leave jobs they were unhappy in and find ones that made their heart sing.  There is no telling what can come from Empowering Your Voice.  For you, right now, just think about what is it you want and then ask for it — speak up and declare it!  You won’t be sorry, I will guarantee that.

Once you embrace these 3 Secrets to Money Success, you will be on your way to your financial freedom, inner self-worth and money success!

If you are interested in learning more about your Money Archetypes which I mentioned in Secret #1, and taking your very own personalized money archetype assessment, email me at kim@kimravida.com and put in the subject “I want to know my Money Archetypes.”  Yes, it’s that easy!

Do you have ‘secrets’ about money? Do you know your patterns? What’s your money story?  Post them below!

Yup, procrastination gets you every time!

Right time, right place in wood typeDid you ever drag your feet on doing something and when you finally did it you thought, “Now why didn’t I do that sooner?” Or “I wish I did that sooner”?  Yes, probably most of us have.  The beauty is to remember that you did it and therefore can feel good about it.

Yet… there can also be a benefit to waiting. Right?

Now, I’m not promoting procrastination but there have been many times I delayed doing something and when I finally did it, I benefited even more than I originally thought I would.  You know, those times when something has happened or shifted in the meantime (while I was delaying) that intensified the beneficial end result.  Strange, huh?  If you think about it, I’m sure it’s happened to you also.

One of my clients had been talking about taking a specific action for many months, when I finally asked her if she really wanted to do what she said she wanted to do.  She did and through our conversation she realized that she had been putting it off because it wasn’t the right time to do it.  Sometimes timing is everything and that is a key piece.  Once she realized that, she gained a lot of peace and ease around it.

You can do the same thing. Ask yourself do you need to do this now?  If not, then you can postpone it and be on your way feeling good, feeling free and knowing that you will get it handled when the timing is right.

But wait… how is postponing “better” than procrastination?  If you look up procrastination in the dictionary (you don’t have to, I did it for you) it says:  to postpone doing something, especially as a regular practice.  So what is procrastination really?  It’s a habit.  A habit of doing something regularly so that it begins to be the way you are, how you are being.  Truthfully your way of being can make or break your success.  If you’re postponing on a regular basis, it’s a problem.

However, let’s leave off the ‘especially as a regular practice’ and take the part where it says “to postpone doing something”.  See, often in order to say ‘Yes’ to something we need to say ‘No’ to something else.  That can be hard to do!  Therefore we think we are procrastinating when we really are postponing.  Does that help take the sting off of you procrastinators?

Look, running your own business — heck your own life — has one challenge after another come up.  And that’s okay.  Lots of what we do is problem solve.  Being clear on whether you are postponing or procrastinating can mean all the difference between negative outcomes or positive outcomes.

Share below a time when you postponed something and discovered the pieces fell together in a better way. I know it’s happened to you!

The Secret to Success

I refuse to quit message, handwriting with chalk on blackboard, lifestyle change conceptDo you love secrets?  I used to as a kid; it was so awesome to hear “I’m just telling you this and no one else.” How thrilling it was to be the keeper of the secret!  However, I soon realized there were others who knew the same secret… so it wasn’t much of a secret, was it?

Then, how can I tell you the secret of success and still have it be a secret?  Doesn’t really make any sense, right?  Well, okay, the secret really isn’t a secret.  BUT it is something that if you do it, you will have success!  And if you don’t, you will continue to have stress, frustration and overwhelm, not to mention much unhappiness and feeling bad about yourself.  So what is this secret to success?

Drum roll, please.  The secret to success is to change your perspective.  Yes, change your perspective.  Easy, right?  Well, not so fast.  If it were, we’d actually do it.  If change were easy – well, we’d all have so much joy, happiness and success all of the time.  So what makes changing our perspective so challenging?  That’s easy to answer: it is all in the word ‘change’.  We need to alter, amend or adjust what we are thinking, doing and saying.  And oftentimes we aren’t clear on that and so we say “I hate change.”  And because we ‘hate’ change, we won’t do it. 

Notice that last phrase “won’t do it” – it has such a limiting feel, doesn’t it?  Picture a child stamping his/her foot – they normally don’t say “I won’t”, they just say “NO!” It’s the same thing when you say ‘won’t’.  Hmmm.  Ringing any bells?  ‘Can’t’ is a word that shows up, too.  Do you ever hear yourself saying “I can’t” either out loud or inside your head?  So my friend, when you find yourself in that ‘won’t’ and ‘can’t’ place, that’s a good time for the perspective change to come in.

Think of a time where you were trying to get something done and you kept coming up against obstacle after obstacle and finally you said “Never mind, I give up.”  What happened?  Did you suddenly have a bright idea of how to get what you wanted?  More often than not, the answer is yes.  I know because it happens to me and to my clients, so I’m not just making things up here.  It’s because you decided (without you even knowing) to have a perspective change – you gave up.  But what you really did was release the expectation to the outcome you had going on in your head.

See, when we change the way we look at things, no matter how small, the things we look at change.  Dr. Wayne Dyer says that all the time and he’s right.

So the secret is easy, right?  Change your perspective and change your life.  Yet so many people resist it because they are used to behaving in a certain way, even if it isn’t consciously.  We self-sabotage all the time and think we have no control over anything that happens to us.  But we do, we do!  Change is NOT hard.  Change is easy.  It is what we tell yourself about change that makes it hard.  We make up all of these stories in our head about this and that, and rarely do they come true.  All that does is hold us firmly rooted in stress, frustration and overwhelm that leads to unhappiness.  Give this secret a try and shift your perspective to something that is more pleasing to you and will bring you the happiness you want.

What’s one thing right now that you can change your perspective on?  Maybe it’s something you have been saying “I can’t” about or stomping your foot saying “NO, I won’t”.  Where can you have a slight perspective shift that will take you from stress, frustration and overwhelm to joy, peace and ease?  Go on, I know once you do it you will feel so much better!

When you do, feel free to comment below and let me know what the shift did for you and how much better you feel!

Have you had enough?

How much is enough conceptDid I get your attention?  Did you ask “Well, what is enough?”  Or did you think “What does ‘enough’ mean?”  For many of us we have no idea what ‘enough’ is or means.  Take money for example; I hear from my clients all the time “I just need enough money.” Or, “I just want to make enough money.”  But what does ‘enough’ mean?

So let’s first define ‘enough’.  It means sufficient, adequate, as much as necessary or as much as needed.  I’m not sure about you, but I know that my clients and most people (I’m including myself in there too) want more than needed.  I want enough money so that I can do and have whatever I want.  Plus, I want to feel secure and not have to worry if I can meet my financial obligations day-to-day, week-to-week, month-to-money and yes, year-to-year.  Therefore, I want more than enough.

So have you had enough of enough?  My clients have.  When they say they just need enough money or to make enough, we do some coaching around that.  I ask them to define what enough is to them.  When they do, they realize that they actually want more.  And we then take it a step further and I ask “What do you want more for?”  It’s absolutely amazing what they say!  I hear things like: they can help more people, they can reach more, they can spend more time with their kids, on their health, take a trip, hire help and the list goes on.

Look, for most of us we do have enough, and it is okay to want more.  It’s actually more than okay because when you say “I want more” you will get it and you will also help more people around you.  Think of it this way, what if you had all the money in the world, would you do something to help someone else?  Many of you will say yes.  And so then, isn’t it worth striving for having more than enough?

I’d say so!  So say goodbye to just ‘enough’ and hello to moremore joy, more freedom, more happiness and dare I say more peace of mind!

 

Profitability, you got it?

pie chartAs a business owner, how do you define ‘profit’?  Do you take your sales minus your expenses and then see what is left over?  If you do, you aren’t alone; there are many business owners who do just that.  It’s the way we have been taught, programmed and told to do.  But there is another way.  Say what?  Yes, there is another way and I’m happy to share that with you here.

I work with an amazing system called Profit First.  It was created by Mike Michalowicz and since being certified by him, I’ve helped numerous business owners make money in their business and — even better — take money for themselves from their business.  Now I’m not talking about “Oh, look there’s money in the account, I think I’ll write myself a check.”  I’m talking about seriously planning to make a profit and paying yourself a salary, all while you are covering your business expenses and your taxes.

The Profit First System is exactly as it sounds, take your profit first!  We so often pay everyone else and then we live off of what is left (or not live in some cases, I kid you not).  Well, this system flips all of that and has you calculating your profit first and paying yourself a regular salary.  You wouldn’t accept a job interview by saying “By the way, I’m here to work for free,” so why should you work for free in your own company?  If nothing else, you gotta eat, right?

The first step of the Profit First System is that you establish four accounts:

  1. Profit Account
  2. Owner’s Pay Account
  3. Tax Account
  4. Operating Expenses Account

I want to stress here that you want four separate accounts.  You don’t want to have all your money living in one account because that’s one sure-fire way to end up with more month leftover than money.

The next step is to determine the percentages that you’ll be putting into those separate bank accounts regularly.  Now the trick here is to look closely at your operating expenses and make sure that you aren’t paying for things that you don’t need to run your business.  There may be things you think you need that you truly don’t, and guess what?  Once you get rid of those, you’ll have more money for your profit and owner’s pay.

What if you could put more money in your pocket?  Sounds way better, doesn’t it!

My clients go through an analysis so they can see exactly where they are bleeding money and also where they need to put money in order to have a healthy business.  That’s what this system is all about; creating a healthy business that thrives not just survives.

If you are interested in learning a lot more about this Profit First theory, read Mike’s book.  Here is my link on Amazon http://amzn.to/1Lbx1kq for you to pick up your own copy.  And if you feel you need or want help with getting a profit first, let me know because I am a Certified Profit First Professional!  Feel free to send me a private email at kim@kimravida.com.

 

Do you feel the love?

Redhead girl near mirror with heart it in bathroom.February, with Valentine’s Day, is the month of “love”. It’s super easy to say “I love you” to someone else, but can you truthfully say it to yourself? And do you believe it? I work with so many women business owners who find it absolutely uncomfortable to look in the mirror and tell themselves “I love you”. Yet they say it to their significant other, spouse, children and pets all the time and without even thinking about it. Why is that?

Well, here is what I have discovered and wanted to share with you since I think it’s important.

Women can be their own worst enemy. They beat themselves up, make themselves feel bad or guilty, and put themselves last because they don’t feel that they deserve love. They put everyone else and their needs first, and hardly ever take care of themselves. By doing this, they often feel disrespected, put upon and taken for granted. No wonder they feel like that; they are essentially treating themselves the same way.

Not a very great place to be, eh?

If you are a woman in business and always seem to be struggling to make money, find clients, and be successful, ask yourself “Do I love myself?” If the answer is no, ask next “Why not?” Hang on for a second and you’ll receive the answers, usually they are right there. But if you analyze them, you will probably discover they are false or superficial. For every con there is a better pro. And let me assure you, there is no reason in this world why you shouldn’t love yourself!

If you don’t love yourself first, why do you think others would or should?

When I started out in business as a fitness coach, I stressed the importance of self care. I still do in my role as a business coach for women business owners because I know — beyond a shadow of a doubt – that self-care and self-love are vital to success.

By loving yourself, you will value yourself and be able to take the steps to build a successful business and make the kind of money you want to make.

When you can tell your reflection in the mirror that you love yourself, really you are saying that you are important, you mean something and you matter… and you do!

So perhaps it’s time to buy your own heart-shaped box of chocolates and send yourself a love note. You’re loved not only by all, but by yourself – and the most important person is YOU!

 

Secret to being successful in business

mindset word cloudI’ve been working with an amazing group of business owners in my Prosperous Business Mastery Group Program.  Each and every one has been stepping up and shining the light on themselves.  One of the things that has been paramount for them is to get really clear about what they want.  It’s very exciting to see what they have been creating in only a short time!

When we are unclear about our end result, it’s hard to know what to do in order to get there.  Therefore, being crystal clear about what we want, why we want it, and what we will do to get it will make all the difference in the world.

Since there already has been much written about steps to take to reach our goals, I want to touch on something that most people don’t know about — or if they do, they don’t utilize well.  It’s called MINDSET.  In business, having a positive, can-do, will-do mindset is one of the secrets to success.

Just what is mindset?  Mindset is:  a state of mind, frame of mind, attitude, approach, way of thinking, outlook.  And guess what?  Many people have a negative mindset.  A positive mindset, on the other hand, is always a work in progress.

Take a moment and think about someone who you think is successful; someone you would like to emulate.  Got it?  Okay, now think about their actions, their words, how they do things, what they do, what they say, how they present themselves, and how they conduct themselves.  What do you notice?  Do you notice someone who is confident and sure of themselves?  How about joyful, peaceful, engaging, exuberant, solid?  Someone with a positive mindset is all of those and more.

They especially do not make excuses, they do what they said they would do, they take chances, they get things done, they get up early and stay late, they never say “I can’t”, and they look for solutions and opportunities.  They don’t allow obstacles, other people or anything to get in their way.

A great mindset can propel you forward in your life and business, while a bad mindset can make your life miserable.  It’s up to you.  Do you want misery or do you want success?

For some people, they generally have a good mindset but they allow things to get in the way and throw them off course.  Either way, having a negative mindset or one that allows you to get thrown off course will — without a doubt — hold you back, make things more difficult for you and lead to overall unhappiness.

I really want you to master your mindset.  Here are several questions to help you mind your mindset so that you experience all the success you want!

  • Is it your thought?  One thing I discovered about myself a long time ago was that I had thoughts that weren’t mine.  Well, they were in my head but they weren’t my thoughts.  I realized that I had been programmed by comments and opinions from other people.  I’d hear someone say “Look at that person; they aren’t a good person.”  So the next person I saw who closely resembled that person, I’d automatically think “Well, that person isn’t a good person.” But was that true?  Probably not!  So when you have a thought, question it, challenge it.  Is it your real opinion or one of a colleague, friend or parent?  Make sure you are thinking your thoughts and not someone else’s.
  • Does thinking this way help me move forward?  If the answer is yes, fantastic.  If no, it’s time to question your thinking.  If you think “I’m not good enough to do this” or “I have no business doing this” ask yourself why you think that.  Nine times out of ten it’s because you might not feel confident in what you are about to do and/or you need additional info.  So what is a different thought that you can have?  “I am good enough and will learn how to do this” or “I know exactly why I want to do this and will absolutely make it happen.” Consciously swap your negative thoughts for positive ones.
  • What am I afraid of?  Often a negative mindset is driven by fear.  Fear of failure, fear of being rejected, fear of losing love.  (I could go on but I think you get what I’m saying.)  What are you afraid of?  Lots of times your mindset is directly related to that fear.  I once had a client who was afraid to talk to his wife about money; he had made a few mistakes and was afraid she wouldn’t love him anymore.  This negative mindset lead to much stress and anxiety… and you know what that lead to, an even more negative mindset.  We walked through an exercise for this and once he realized what he was afraid of he was able to let it go.

In the end, a negative mindset is destructive!  However, these tips will get you started on the road to changing your ‘stinking thinking’ for something more positive, enlightening and constructive for you.

I’d love for you to share your experience with your mindset, what you did to change it and what results you got.  Feel free to send me a personal email or post below here on my blog!

Are you doing some funky, not-so-constructive things?

Going Around in Circles Words on Circle RibbonsIt’s a new year!  I’m very excited.  I am all about doing something different so that I get the results that I want.  I know that if I continue to do what I’ve always done, I’ll get what I’ve always gotten.  And while there are things that I would like to continue, there are many things that I want to change.  Some of that is in my personal life and some of that is in my business.

I’m a big fan of TV shows The Profit and The Biggest Loser – why?  These shows allow the viewers to see the personal side of the people involved.  While The Profit revolves mostly around money as the focal point and The Biggest Loser around weight, both of the shows have a very heavy dose of emotion driving the actions, decisions and behaviors.  What is fascinating to me as a coach and someone who helps others with transforming their life, is how people get themselves stuck into situations that are mind-baffling and feeling as if the weight of the world is on their shoulders (no pun intended).

On The Profit people create financial chaos for themselves and their business, and on The Biggest Loser people create unhealthy chaos for themselves and their loved ones.  The beauty of both of the shows (and yes I know there are lots of behind-the-scenes stuff that we don’t know about) is that in the end, each person has their own breakthrough or aha that gets them seeing their situation in a new light — and that is where the transformation takes place.  Emotions and feelings hold us back if we aren’t aware of them and they can hold us prisoner and make us do some really funky, not-so-constructive things.

Dolvett once said “You don’t have to be great to start but you have to start to be great.”  I had to write that down.  Now I say it to myself every day and it has helped me to get started when I’ve been stuck.  It helps me to keep taking the steps daily, weekly, monthly so I reach my goals that I set for myself both personally and professionally.  It’s both emotionally grounding and awe inspiring.  We can use our emotion to create positive, sustainable change and results.

So what do you need do to start on your road to greatness?  Lose weight, get in shape, straighten out your money madness, be better at something?  Whatever it is, just do one thing.  We all have greatness, and if you are not sure what your greatness is, click here http://amzn.to/1xyBhoe and get my colleague, Jay Forte’s amazing book, The Greatness Zone.

May 2015 be your greatest year yet!