Did you get what you wanted?

December 18, 2014 By

How to Get What You Want Clipboard Checklist Dream Plan Do ItIt’s the end of the year! WOW, where did a whole year go? Can you answer that without having to look back at your calendar? If you can, I’m impressed. And I hope you can. It means that you are living a life on purpose; you are the cause of your life rather than being at the effect of it. For that you get a big “Congratulations!” I’d love for you to share how you do it. See, there are many people who are living their life at the effect of everything and everyone around them. I’ve written about that in the past and, in fact, I call it ‘being a victim’. It’s energy level 1 in my Energy Leadership Index Assessment.

As a business owner, if you can easily share with someone your top successes and accomplishments then you are probably among the select 2% of successful business owners out there. You more than likely have a vision, a plan, take action and course-correct.

If not, don’t worry. I’m here to help you. The below outline is a very quick way for you to have 2015 be all that you want it to be… even if 2014 was a bit disappointing to you.

My last article outlined my mentor Mark Luterman’s 5 Secret Weapon Steps. Here they are again:

  1. Purpose – what is your purpose, what is it you want to do, what end result do you wish to have?
  2. Plan – from your purpose, what is it you will do in order to reach your goals? Create a well thought-out plan of action so that you know the exact steps you will take to have your purpose materialize.
  3. Action – rather than just waiting for things to happen, you need to go out and do things. From your plan where you created the exact steps, it’s time to take action on them to realize results.
  4. Desire to Accomplish – this is your motivation for doing the actions to move you closer to your goals.
  5. Faith, Belief and Confidence – you must have faith in yourself, belief that you can and will accomplish your goals, and confidence to take the actions you laid out for you — no matter what — in order to reach your goals.

In the Small Business Secret Weapon process we also work with a bonus step and that is: exercise the principle of autosuggestion. This means that as you take action and complete to-dos and tasks, stuff starts to happen. You run into someone who can help you move closer to your goal, you get an unexpected but needed surprise, and so much more.

I often do VIP days with my clients so that they can start outlining what they want for their business and what they will do to get it. We take a day to do this together but you can do this for yourself. I suggest you take several hours so that you can get very clear on what it is you want. Find a quiet place where you can spend some time and get comfortable. Have a notebook and writing instrument or your computer/tablet so that you can write down your ideas and your plan.

Here is what you are going to do:

  • Define your purpose. State your overall purpose and then all the other reasons you are doing what you are doing or want to do. Get very clear, visualize how you will feel, what you will be doing, and don’t leave anything out – allow yourself time to create this.
  • Write out your roadmap. This is your to-do list so to speak. You will do x in order to reach $100,000 this year or x to get your business started and so on – write out each step that you can think of. While you want to be very clear, don’t worry about being so specific that you get caught up here. Remember, your bonus step from above will help you here!
  • Schedule your actions. Put each step that you have in your calendar so that you know what you will do and when. If you have a deadline such as ‘launch new business’, that goes into the future, and then you put the actions that lead up to that date closer to the present so you can take action to get there.
  • Write out the reason(s) you desire to accomplish your goals. Be as detailed as you can. This is your touchstone so that when things get a bit challenging, you can come back to this to motivate you back into action. It will act as your motivator. Examples: I want to quit my full-time job and work for myself; I want to send my children to college without having to take out loans; I want to retire by 50; I want to do what I love and be my own boss; or I want to be available to my kids. It is what is important to you in your life. Do not judge, this is strictly for you.
  • Write out why you have faith, belief and confidence. This is another touchstone. I have faith because I know I will be successful, I have faith that this will be exactly as I envision it, and I am confident that I will succeed.

Be as detailed as possible, envision all that you want to accomplish and see yourself accomplishing it. Trust that once you begin taking action, opportunities will find you because the bonus step is real, it does happen.

I’d love for you to share your experience. Feel free to send me a personal email at kim @ kimravida.com or post on my blog below! And if you find that you need help with this or just want someone to walk you through each step, I have several VIP slots available, so give me a shout! And if you want the support of me and a group, there are a few spaces available in my group mastermind program too.

Filed Under: Reaching Goals Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

I certainly do not want my destiny to be Overwhelm!

December 4, 2014 By

DestinyOverwhelm was taking over my life.  I felt more and more stressed out and it was bordering on anxiety.  I knew that something different had to happen and it needed to be something drastic.   I knew I needed to make a change and I wanted it to make a positive impact on my life.   

Each time I thought about ‘overwhelm’ I became even more overwhelmed and it wasn’t getting me anywhere.  So that is why decided to take the word out of my vocabulary.  I knew if I stopped saying it, I wouldn’t feel it.  You might be thinking “How does that make any sense?”  Well, I believe that our thoughts create our actions which create our destiny, and ultimately then our thoughts create our destiny.  I certainly do not want my destiny to be overwhelm.  I know what I want my destiny to be, I know what I want to feel, I know what I want to have in my life… and it isn’t overwhelm!

Therefore, by taking it out, I no longer invited it in.  Often though when something comes out something else replaces it, and unless you are very clear about what you want to come in, it is usually something equally negative.  As I was thinking about what I wanted to change, I thought about what I wanted instead.  In my business I wanted peace of mind, ease of execution, and to feel calm.  I wanted to feel productive and happy with what I got done during my day.  Since working in my business was where I felt the most overwhelm, I started there.

It was amazing what happened once I stopped saying it.  Yes, it did take me some time to get out of that habit of just having “I’m so overwhelmed!” pop out of my mouth.  I had to create a reminder for myself.  So I wrote down on a piece of paper what I wanted to feel instead:  Peace of Mind, Ease of Execution and Feel Calm.  I put it where I could see it every day.  Once I began to tap into the feelings I wanted, it began to feel easy and best of all I was able to remove “that word” from my vocabulary because I didn’t need it anymore!  Each day I feel more and more at ease, have peace of mind and it’s a beautiful thing to feel calm regularly.

Now, my guess is that you don’t want to live your life in overwhelm either.  Decide what aspect of your life has the most of ‘it’ and make a conscious decision about how you want to feel instead.  Remember to write it down and keep it close to you.  Read it daily so you’ll be reminded why you set out to make this change.  Then watch what happens in your life!

Filed Under: Personal Development Tagged With: , , , ,

It’s Up to Me!

November 20, 2014 By

what do you want questionDid you know that you are the one responsible for happiness in your life?  That’s right, you are.  There’s only you to blame if you don’t have what you want in your life.  If you want a better relationship, you need to be the one to create a better relationship.  If you want a dream job, you need to be the one to create a dream job.  If you want more money, you need to be the one to create more money.  You may notice I’m using the word create here.  That’s because you get to create what you want.  It all starts with you.

What?  Yes, I know that is a scary concept for some of us while for others it’s a Yahoo! and a permission-granter.  See, no one can make us happy, give us joy or help us feel better about ourselves; only we can do that.  And in order to do that we must know: 1) what we want and 2) how to get it.  It’s all about the plan, man.  Create a blueprint, a roadmap of what you will do in order to get what you want.

I’ve said it before in other articles and you’ve probably heard it elsewhere too, but if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.  You operate blindly and without purpose.  Purpose is key to getting what you want.

Let’s look at the 5 steps to your success.  This is adapted from Mark Luterman’s 5 Secret Weapon Steps that I use with my business clients.

  1. Purpose – what is your purpose, what is it you want to do, what end result do you wish to have?
  2. Plan – from your purpose, what is it you will do in order to reach your goals?  Create a well thought-out plan of action so that you know the exact actions you will take to have your purpose materialize.
  3. Action – rather than just waiting for things to happen, you need to go out and do things.  From your plan where you created the exact actions, it’s time to take action on them to actualize results.
  4. Desire to Accomplish – this is your motivation for doing the actions to move you closer to your goals.
  5. Faith, Belief and Confidence – you must have faith in yourself, belief that you can and will accomplish your goals, and confidence to take the actions you laid out for you — no matter what — in order to reach your goals.

In the Small Business Secret Weapon process we also work with a bonus step and that is: exercise the principle of autosuggestion.  This means that as you take action and complete to-dos and tasks, stuff starts to happen.  You run into someone who can help you move closer to your goal, you get an unexpected but needed surprise, and so much more.

This is how you create what it is you want: a great relationship, dream job, amazing health and wealth.  You get clear, you plan, you act, you stand in your own power and you start to see results.  Give it a go and see what comes to you.  It’s a great time to plan for what you want to realize next in your life.  Right now is always the best time to plan.  No waiting necessary.  What is it you want?  What will you do to get it?  If it’s meant to be, it’s up to you!

I’d love for you to share your experience.  Feel free to send me a personal email at kim@kimravida.com or post below!

 

Filed Under: Reaching Goals, Self Worth Tagged With: , , , ,

How Happy Are You?

November 13, 2014 By

Are you happy - doodleI love this question.  I often ask my clients this.  Usually they tell me they aren’t very happy and it always makes me sit up straight.  Why are they unhappy?  What could be making them unhappy? From my perspective they have thriving businesses, healthy families, and lots of things going well for them.  I know this because we start our coaching sessions with celebrations and accomplishments.  So for them to later say that they aren’t very happy always takes me by surprise.

It turns out they didn’t get a client they thought there were going to get, their day didn’t go as planned, they got a bill they forgot about, something was more money than they expected.  At home, their kids aren’t behaving, their husband isn’t cooperating or something is going on that they don’t like.  Some have sickness in their families or in themselves.  Whatever it is, it’s bringing them down from feeling like they can be happy.

I try to teach them that their happiness is directly related to how they feel about themselves and the world around them.  It’s how they see all the things that are in their life (or not) and how they feel about them.  And this goes for you too.

Say you are trying to lose weight, and are taking steps to do so, but are not seeing much progress.  Yet your gym buddy is shedding the pounds faster than you can say “hey”.  In this scenario you might feel bad about yourself, which in turn will make you feel like you are not happy.  But wait a minute… what if you were to congratulate your gym buddy, be happy for her and be happy with what you have accomplished so far?  Do you think that might shift you away from feeling bad?  You bet!  What happens is you now take the focus off of her and the judging of yourself off of you, and put your attention on yourself and what you have done.

Happiness really comes from our feelings, which comes sometimes from our perceptions, thoughts, beliefs, patters, behaviors and experiences.

Stop for a moment and ask yourself, “In this moment, what am I feeling?”  One of the things that I have been practicing, as well as sharing with my clients — and pretty much everyone because I think it’s so impactful — is a line in Eckhart Tolle’s book the Power of Now.  He says “Focus your attention on the Now and tell me what problem you have at this moment.”  It’s insightful because if you truly focus on the Now, you can’t have a problem.  A problem usually is born when we are in the future and thinking about what might happen to us or others.

In order to be happy more of the time, be in your present moment because that is all you have.  If you have a moment that isn’t to your liking, then do something about it.  Make a change, take an action, do something.  Simply by changing how we think and feel, we can change the experience we have.

Let me give you an example.  I had a relative that was sick for a long time — I’m talking months in and out of the hospital.  Things needed to be done, meetings held with the medical staff, organization of personal bills, and care for the house and such.  There were a lot of drop-everything-and-race-to-the-hospital moments.  It was stressful and, no, I was not happy for many reasons.  My relative whom I love was sick and in pain, I had to put my own life and business on hold for days sometimes, and I had to say no to a lot of opportunities both in my personal life and business because we needed to care for our relative.  So when I asked myself if I was happy, the answer was been no.

Then I realized I was not living in my Now! Instead I was living in the land of the “what ifs” — and not the what-if-something-great-happens.  I recognized that I never have a problem in my Now.  My problems arise when I set foot outside of Now and go into Future.  I realized I could be happy when I went the hospital and that absolutely helped my sick relative as I wasn’t bringing all my doom and gloom in when I visited.  Of course, it helped me feel better and all of a sudden, things around me started to look better.

We only have one life to live.  It’s important for us to remember that we are the driver of our life and we have a right to be as happy as the next person.  So pay attention to your feelings, your thoughts, your actions… and take note.  “Am I happy?  What do I need to let go of in order to be happy?  Is it a feeling?  Is it a thought? Is it an action?”

Today, give yourself permission to be happy — as happy as you want — because it’s the greatest gift you give to yourself, those around you and the world.

Would you like to share an experience you had when you decided to be happy?  Please feel free to share either by sending me a personal email at kim@kimravida.com or post your comment below!

Filed Under: Personal Development, Self Worth Tagged With: , , , ,

Bring More Peace and Calm into Your Life

November 6, 2014 By

Business woman in office isolated on whiteWhy is it some people can effortlessly get things done and are always prepared ahead of time while others (like me) get stressed out at the last minute?

I think back to a trip I took with my husband. When we were packing (mind you, he packed most things a week in advance), he was easily folding and putting things in his suitcase and I was racing around up to the attic and going through the closets to find my stuff. When we got to the airport, why was he not paying the extra $50.00 because his suitcase was overweight? And when we got to the hotel, why does he not have nine pair of shoes lined up in the hotel room? I over packed…again. I won’t even tell you about our first trip away, but I will tell you that one moment I had my passport in my hand and the next it was gone. Talk about stress!

It’s kind of a phenomenon for some of us. We get stressed out, while others remain calm. I’ve always wanted to be the calm one but I continually find myself being the stressed one. This got me thinking: why am I this way? I want to be composed, easily pack, and be ready ahead of time before the driver shows up to drive us to the airport.

I was curious and I wanted to find the answer for myself, so I decided to observe and talk to people who I thought were always cool, calm and collected and see what they did. Here is what I learned and what I hope to put into practice immediately to bring more peace and calm into my life; maybe it can help you too:

  • They know what they need to do and they do it. They keep a list and then they schedule when they will do things.
  • They stay focused on the task and finish what they started.
  • They have a great sense of time and use it accordingly (meaning, they don’t waste the time they have designated running off to do another thing while they are in the middle of doing something else).
  • They are organized.
  • They say ‘no’ and mean it. (My husband does this well, much to my annoyance especially when I want him to do something.)

There are two things that I know I will struggle with. The first is using time accordingly – I hate to admit it but I have that Bright Shiny Object Syndrome and often will start on thing in one room and then find myself in another room doing something completely different. Then the next thing I know, I have to move on to something else and the only thing I’ve managed to do is make a mess and cause myself stress! The second is saying ‘no’.

Yet, as I write this I think, what if I embrace saying ‘no’ to all the nonsense I do that brings me stress? Could it be that by saying no to stress I will be saying yes to calm? I don’t know, but I sure am willing to give it a try!

 

Filed Under: Personal Development Tagged With: , , , ,

Do you think about money?

October 9, 2014 By

Piggy BankI’m pretty sure you do.  However, how do you think about money?  Are you someone who thinks about it positively or are you constantly thinking “I don’t have enough”?  It’s important because how you think about money will lead to the actions you will take (or not) around money.

There’s much out there written on your relationship with money.  Why?  Because many of us have a negative relationship with money and, hence, we have lots of debt and no money.  We spend more than we save and we have challenges being self-supporting on what we make.

You know the old rule of spending less than you make, but do you do it?  I didn’t.  And guess what? I was trapped in the loop of never having enough.  I always had to pay the credit card or loan… and let me tell you it’s a challenge to get out of that loop.  The interest on those credit cards kill you.  Just when I celebrated paying off a credit card, I’d get a bill that said I owned more!?  Say what??  That can’t be!  I called, I asked for the payoff figure, I paid it off.  Oh, but alas, there is that dreaded interest rate that just keeps on adding up.

So then how do we create a solid money relationship?  We need to do several basic things.  Notice I said basic, I did not say easy.  But then again, anything worth going for is never easy; there is always some skin in the game, sacrifices, dedication and hard work to be had.

Here are a few must dos in order to begin to create your own solid, positive relationship with money.

  1. Spend less than you make.  Yes, there it is.  In order to do this, add up all of your monthly, bi-monthly, quarterly and yearly expenses and get a clear picture of what you pay out.  Then add up your income.  If the income is more than the expenses, awesome, go on to number three but if not…
  2. Cut expenses.  Truly ask yourself what is essential to live (in other words what do you have to have) and what is optional.  Guess what?  Cable TV is NOT essential, nor is dinner out every night, take out, etc.  Get rid of non-essential expenses so that income is more than your expenses.
  3. Track your income and expenses on a monthly basis.  Use pen and paper or any electronic means that makes sense to you – if you can have this process be fun, even better!  It is exciting once you start to see your expenses going down and more money in your pocket.
  4. Get support and encouragement.  It’s not easy to make these changes on your own; if you could have you would have by now.  Have your spouse/significant other on board with you.  Ask a trusted, money-savvy friend or someone else you know to help you get started creating solid, positive money goals.

Keep in mind that there are more things you can do.  However, if you begin with this list, it’s a great place to start.

If you would like more information and steps to take, feel free to reach out to me.  If you want to know your money archetypes, send me an email at kim@kimravida.com with “archetype assessment” in the subject line. I’ll give you the assessment and a free session to go over what it means for you and how you can use them to improve your relationship with money!

Filed Under: Money Habits Tagged With: , , , ,

Do you have an Exit Strategy?

September 25, 2014 By

Problem solvingIf you said yes, then you are more than likely someone who is fantastic at planning and flexibility.  If you said “I don’t even know what you mean,” then let me explain.  An exit strategy is something that you put into place long before you need it. 

Before I left my corporate job, I knew I was not going to another job but to start my own coaching business.  So my exit strategy included saving as much money as I could to grow my bank account to where I would feel comfortable paying the bills without having the consistent income coming in that I had with a job.  I saved enough money to be able to live my life as I began building my business.

I also paid off any credit card balances, my car, and any other financial obligations that I had.  I made sure that I was solvent before I jumped ship.  I knew exactly what I needed to have and to do in order to leave my job and take the leap of faith into being an entrepreneur.  Oh and that included knowing that I needed training in order to embark on my great big adventure of being a coach and helping others live really fabulous lives.  I had my ducks in a row (you may have heard the saying).  That is what I mean by an exit strategy.

We all need exit strategies.  Gone are the days of security.  One never knows what will happen around the corner.  You might work for a company for a long time and then one day BAM, you get laid off and you learn the company is bankrupt.  You didn’t have anything to do with that but you are, nonetheless, the victim of someone else’s choices.  But do you have to be?

Not if you have an exit strategy.  If you are always looking to take care of yourself and your livelihood, and making sure that you are on top of what it is you will do next, then you are never a victim.

I use an amazing Energy Level Assessment with my clients and find that many are constantly living in a Level 1 which is that of victim.  They are living by the effect of what goes on in their lives, not the cause.  No wonder they feel depressed, sad, and think “Why bother?”  They are like a rock at the shore, being pulled out and pushed back in again.  That is no way to live and you don’t have to.

The best time to make your exit strategy is before the exit.  So here are several steps for you to begin planning your own exit strategy – no matter what you are exiting.

  1. Know that you are great and wiser than you think.  Take a moment and think of a time when you felt like you were down and out.  Maybe it was at the beginning of your business or a new job.  Now think about an experience that had you feeling pretty amazing about yourself.  Maybe you spoke up for yourself or what you believed in.  See, there it is, your greatness.
  2. Trust that you will always know what is best for you.  This one is a leap of faith for some.  But you truly do know what is best for you.  Stop asking other people what you should do and start asking yourself.  Once you do, listen to what you hear back.  There is no other you, because there doesn’t need to be, you are the best of you.
  3. Create a plan for your future.  Do a few ‘what if’ scenarios.  What if I needed money today?  What if you were to lose your job today?  What if you had to take a pay cut?  What if… you fill in the blanks because it’s your exercise.  I focused on money but the ‘what ifs’ are endless.

The idea of the exit strategy is so that you have a prepared roadmap of what you will do IF ____  happens.  You are in the driver seat and you get to say the direction you will go. You’re not leaving it up to chance or hope.  You are stating this is what you will do so that you are not caught off guard and the victim.  You will be the victor of your life and that gives you both feelings of control and confidence.

An exit strategy gives you back the power.  So if you do get laid off or whatever happens to you, you’ll be able to say, “Ok, NEXT.”

Now I’m sure that I’m not the only one that had an exit strategy or had to come up with one fast.  If you have a story to tell, please feel free to share either by sending me a personal email at kim@kimravida.com or post on my blog!

Filed Under: Personal Development Tagged With: , , , , ,

Do you like prizes?

September 12, 2014 By

Jubilant womanDo you like prizes?  I do!  So I’m pretty sure that you do, too.  Wouldn’t life be wonderful if we received a prize every single day?  Guess what!  We can have prizes every day.  We even get to determine what the prize is.

No, I’m not crazy. What I mean is that you can determine at the beginning of every day what you want the prize to be.  Let’s say you are an entrepreneur working in (and on) your business so you have a lot of things to do.  Ask yourself what is one thing you could do today that would give you the biggest return on your efforts?  That’s your prize!  See, it’s easy.

I’ll admit that sometimes it isn’t easy determining the what.  It may take some planning and possibly some critical and creative thinking.  Let’s start with what you want for an outcome in your life.  It can be personal or professional.  I know money is a top #1 want for a lot of people – so let’s say the outcome is you want more money.  That can be the big prize.

So how do you reach the big prize?  Let’s look at a few things that you may have to do in order to have more money.

  1. Determine how much more money you want.  Yes, be specific and clear. Maybe you want another $3000 a year.
  2. Ask yourself what is it you need to do in order to have this amount of money.  You might have to start doing something (i.e. saving more) or stop doing something (i.e. eating out every day).  Only you know what it is you need to do.
  3. Once you know what it is you need to do, you then choose to do it and from there you work toward your prize.  For example, you decided to stop eating lunch out every day and instead you pack your lunch or eat at home.  Your prize each day is that saved around $10 which then moves you toward your big prize, more money.
  4. Put a timeframe on when you want the big prize. After saving $70 a week for 52 weeks you’ve not only reached your goal of $3000, but you’ve surpassed it! Whoohoo!

That’s it!  See it’s easy.  First you need to determine your prize and then you go for it.  The saying “Keep your eyes on the prize!” takes on a whole new meaning when you know what your prize is!

Filed Under: Money Habits, Personal Development, Reaching Goals Tagged With: , ,

How to Let Go of Negative Thinking

August 28, 2014 By

Before we talk about how we let go of crappy, negative thinking, let’s define what it is.

I Can. Positive ThinkingNegative thinking is having thoughts that don’t serve us and our highest good. They are thoughts such as “I’m not good enough, I suck, who do I think I am to be doing this” (whatever this is). They are the “I can’t… I can’t do this, I can’t do that…” thoughts. They are the excuses that we tell ourselves why we can’t do something. They are thoughts that hold us back. For some of us, the negative thoughts we have about ourselves we would never say or admit to another person.

I’d like to share with you that our thoughts create our actions (and/or our behavior) and if we are thinking negatively, how likely are we to take actions that support us or move us forward? Probably a continuous stream of negative thinking about what happened or what might happen is going on in our head. We’ve all heard someone say “I need to move on” or even “You need to move on”.

If our goal is indeed to move on and change our negative thinking, how do we do that? Here are my 7 Steps to Letting Go of Negative Thinking that will help:

  • Step 1: Pay attention to what you are saying both to yourself and out loud. Notice what is positive and what is negative and also note the feelings attached/associated with it. I used to say “I can do this!” out loud, but internally I was saying “Who do I think I am to do this?” Negative thinking is tricky; pay close attention. Once you recognize the negative thinking, move to Step 2.
  • Step 2: Create a turn-around statement. I used to constantly feel that no matter what I did, I wasn’t good enough to get to where I wanted to go in my business. What ended up happening was that I wouldn’t complete things. I created a simple turn-around statement that said “I know how to take the right amount of action to get me to where I want to go.” You don’t have to be fancy here. Just turn your negative thought into a positive thought.
  • Step 3: Write down your turn-around statement and read it throughout your day. Especially important when you notice that you are in a negatively-thinking state and getting yourself caught up in the “I can’t do this” cycle.
  • Step 4: Make an action plan of concrete steps. These are steps you will take that will lead you to your end result. In my example, first I needed to get clear about where I wanted to go in my business. At the time, I just wanted clients – so therefore I needed to lay the foundation in order to get them and then I needed to act on it.
  • Step 5: Take consistent action no matter how small. A lot of people are all or nothing. Don’t be fooled into thinking that if you can’t complete what you want to do in one sitting, there isn’t any reason to bother starting and/or doing it in the first place. By doing just 5, 10, 15 or more minutes of action a day you can easily and without struggle reach your end result.
  • Step 6: Track your progress. One of my clients decided to rate how he did with what he was trying to change. He created a chart and would rate on a scale of 1-10 how he felt he was progressing day-to-day. He did this to keep himself on target and it worked. It’s important to be consistent, daily, when trying to make changes in your life and your behavior and especially in your thinking.
  • Step 7: Understand and be okay with the fact that you will slide back. The key is to remember that there is no failure, only an opportunity to learn. I had the biggest shift in my business and life when I started to ask questions of myself like: How could I have done that better? What will I do differently next time?

See it’s a different story (and if feels better) when you ask yourself “What will I do different next time?” rather than “What did I do wrong?” Don’t berate yourself for all the things you felt you didn’t do and slide back into that negative thought pattern of “I’m not good enough.”

Remember, you ARE good enough just the way you are!

Have a thought, comment or suggestion? Please feel free to share either by sending me a personal email at kim@kimravida.com or post below!

Filed Under: Personal Development

Stress: It’s got to go!

August 14, 2014 By

To-Do List Everything Dry Erase Board Overworked StressI used to run around saying I’m so stressed out and I’m so overwhelmed. It felt terrible and I couldn’t seem to get anything done. This stemmed from my working for others as an employee for years and then I carried it over to when I began my own business. I suffered from headaches and anxiety, and I always had something happen to get in the way of what I was trying to accomplish. At work it was the computer crashed or the printer jammed. If I was driving, I hit every single red light there was and, of course, got behind the slowest driver. It was downright frustrating and annoying yet it was the way I lived my life.

One day I realized that I needed to make a change. I wasn’t really paying attention to what I was doing and nearly rear-ended the driver in front of me. I was a danger to not only myself but to those around me! I was mad at myself because this was not how I wanted to show up in my life.

And on the home front, my husband would often say “you are a mess” and he was right. I didn’t like when he said it and that was because I knew it was true. I had bruises from walking into things; the corner of the desk, the door frames, and things that just jumped out in front of me. Well, okay, so they didn’t really just jump out – I wasn’t paying attention and of course I ran into them. Doing so slowed me down… so again another example of things happening to me.
Okay, so what did I do? I decided that I needed to be present in my life because I was missing out on so much. I was always racing around from thing to thing trying to get stuff done. Some important and some not so important, but because I put it off it was usually urgent that I get it done.

It’s what transpired for me that I’d love to share with you. Here are a few steps that immediately took the edge off the anxiety and frustration I was feeling and they were easy to do. See, I knew that I needed it to be easy because, heck, I had things to do and it couldn’t be hard or else I’d feel stressed doing them. And since I was out to change that, I wanted it to be do-able.

  • I decided what I wanted to feel. I did not like feeling stressed – which meant that I felt tight, my breathing was short and my shoulders were always hunched. I thought about how do I want to feel? It was relaxed. And how to do that was to just envision feeling it at first.
  • I took 5 minutes to do nothing – and at first it was so hard. I was antsy and couldn’t sit still. So in order to actually accomplish this I told myself I would read 5 minutes of the book that I was reading at the time. I enjoyed this so much, I ended up setting the time for 30 minutes and it was the best 30 minutes of my day because it gave me that peace of mind I needed. I eventually ended up being able to sit still and quiet for 5 minutes.
  • I took things off my list of things to do. This was the hardest part yet it was the most beneficial. I’m a self-proclaimed over-achiever and put a lot on my to-do list yet I wasn’t getting to nearly half of them. So I started with the 2-3 most important things on my list and if I got those done I could do another and so on. This not only set me up to win and feel productive, but it gave me more time – which when I was under so much stress and overwhelm I never had. The outcomes were amazing and I felt so much better.

Just putting these three tips into place made my life and my business so much easier. I was no longer ‘a mess’ internally and externally, I was productive and calm. I had peace of mind and I felt so much joy and happiness. Ahhh it was — and still is — just the way I decided I wanted to feel.

Filed Under: Personal Development, Self Worth Tagged With: , , , ,
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