How great are you?

May 15, 2014 By

smily face.jpgI have aligned myself with others who share similar interests and philosophies and theories when it comes to living a great life.

So just how great are you? Would you say – like Muhammad Ali did –“I am the greatest”? Or would you say “I’m not that great”? You are truly greater and wiser than you think you are. So then, how can you begin to live in what Jay Forte calls ‘Your Greatness Zone’? If you aren’t sure of what that is, get his book click here.

One of the things I know for sure is that we weren’t put on this earth to be average; we were put here to be great! We were put here to excel and to share our gifts. Everyone has different gifts and talents. Sadly, many of us have been formed into a life of what others thought would be best for us. I have a client who went to school to become an accountant because that is what her father said she should do. She hated it, and so after many years decided to do something else. She is now a Reiki master and loves what she does. Another client became an engineer because his father was one and expected him to be one too. There was no other alternative for this person. He is still an engineer only he has learned to use his skills, talents and gifts to his advantage and has come to love his work.

My own story is that I didn’t excel in school. I never felt smart and was never encouraged to try new things. I was encouraged to do the best I could… but what was I best at? I did not know. When it came time to finish high school I did not have a plan of what I was going to do. I knew I had to do something, so I enrolled in the local community college and got an Associate degree in Secretarial Sciences. I worked in that field for about 25 years. In the middle of my 25-year-role in support, I got my business degree and began teaching group exercise: both of which I loved. I realized my greatness was to teach, inspire and help others live fabulous lives and to help business owners and leaders excel at what they do best.

Here are a few things to think about in order for you to begin tapping into your greatness:

  • Figure out what makes your heart sing. What are you good at? What comes naturally to you? What do you love to do – so much that when you are doing it you lose track of time? What is easy for you? What do you always jump at doing? For the next week, make a list of what you notice.
  • Your childhood interests. Think back to when you were young, what did you love to play? For me, I loved to play teacher – not surprising then that I found teaching was what felt great to me. Take some time next week to list out all those things you loved to do as a child, whether playing with others or by yourself.
  • What have other people complimented you on? This is eye opening. We get feedback all the time from others – usually we only pay attention to the negative feedback or that which we do not like. But I know you have been given compliments or comments that you probably haven’t paid much attention to. Think about comments others have said to you – such as “You are really calm, you do a great job at organizing parties. How do you get so much done?” Or an even better idea is to ask 5-10 trusted friends/colleagues what they think you do particularly well.

Remember what I said about you being greater and wiser than you think you are. Ask yourself “What do I want to be great at? What will bring me the most happiness and joy? How can I live a great life?” Then set some time aside to start planning and creating what you want for yourself and watch what amazing opportunities, people and experiences start coming into your life.

I’m so sure that you’ll have amazing things come into your life and I’d love to hear about them. Please post to my blog below or reply to this email!

Filed Under: Personal Development, Self Worth Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Do you believe it?

May 8, 2014 By

searching with sunsetLife is such a joy!

Ok, give it to me.  You thought or said to yourself “Really?  Is she serious?”  I know you did because I come across so many people who think that life has to be hard and things have to be difficult.  They’re the ones that when something goes easy and simply, they wonder when the other shoe is going to fall.

How did we get to this place of expecting the other shoe to fall?  Why do we always look for what is wrong?

Instead, why can’t we look for things that are right?  Well, we can!  And, in fact, that is one thing I have been asking (and in some cases challenging) my clients and pretty much anyone around me to do – look for the right and good in every situation.  When we look for what is right, it is easy to find the joy.

Where in your life can you look for what is right?  And please don’t say “nowhere” because there most certainly is.

Let me give you an example.  A business client of mine was struggling to get clients and kept listing all the things she felt were going wrong for her.  I asked her to stop being negative and look at something that was going well.  Yes, at first she told me that nothing was.  However, upon further contemplation she realized she just had an opportunity to meet a person who was looking for someone in her line of work.  And so there was something that was right… she met a viable prospect seemingly by chance.  With a new positive attitude, in the end she got that contract with this person and several others that followed!

My suggestion is that the next time you think everything is going wrong in your life… stop yourself and purposely look for what is right.  Once you find what is going right and focus on it, you will move yourself from being stuck to taking action and moving forward.  You’ll have a lot more success and so much less stress!

 

Filed Under: Personal Development, Self Worth Tagged With: , ,

Do You Like Puzzles?

May 1, 2014 By

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERALife is like a jigsaw puzzle.  There are lots of pieces that show up – often as problems – and you must try to solve them one after the other, and often it feels as if there are too many pieces and too many puzzles.

Yet as Erma Bombeck said, “If life is like a bowl of cherries, what am I doing in the pits?”  Often we feel like we are in the pits and everything around us sucks.  But it’s just that old ‘poor me’ feeling that shows up and makes us all feel less than.  In reality, we are really more than we need, and we always have everything we need when we need it.

I’m talking about resiliency.  Being flexible in life makes all the difference in the world!  When you are rigid, not only do you shut yourself off from experiences but you also shut yourself off from the world… from evolution.  Adaptability makes putting the pieces of your puzzle together ever so much easier.  It allows you to see a solution where otherwise you might not have seen one.  You will perceive opportunities often before they appear.  You will be freer and happier and more joyful.  While the rest of the world is tied up in a pretzel, you will make great strides in your life.

We often think that we have no choices, when in fact there is always a choice – and by being flexible it makes it much easier to appreciate that.  Granted, not all choices will be great ones, but do not mistake the fact that while you might not like the choice, you always do have one.

True, everyone’s puzzle is unique.  We are all distinctive and special in our own right.  What is right for me is not right for someone else and vice versa.  We must each know how we want our lives to be in order to fit the pieces of our puzzle together.

Often we try to fit a piece into our puzzle then we realize that it just doesn’t fit.  And no matter what we have tried to get it to fit, forcing it just doesn’t work.  Therefore, it is perfectly acceptable and okay to say ‘no’ once you have said ‘yes’… and even the reverse is okay!  This is how we make our puzzle less challenging to solve.

So how do you complete your puzzle?  By knowing exactly what pieces fit your puzzle exactly right.

Filed Under: Personal Development Tagged With: , , ,

Do you have an Inner Bully?

April 24, 2014 By

???????????????No doubt you are familiar — on some level — with bullying from others.  I am not going to tackle that subject here because it is such a big one and I wouldn’t be able to do it justice.  However, what I do want to write about is your inner bully.

We all have one – some people may call it the inner critic, gremlin, inner tormentor, inner committee.  No matter what you name it, it is that voice in your head that says things like:  “You aren’t good enough”, “What were you thinking?”, “Are you crazy”? And all the other things you have said to yourself that do nothing but beat yourself up.

I’ve been intrigued with this inner bully for a while.  I’ve been a victim of it.  I have said things to myself that I would never say to another person.  And I know from working with my private clients that others do it too.  Why?  Well, lots of reasons… but the one I want to address is the need to preserve ourselves; to protect ourselves from fear of failure or even success.

Women are especially hard on themselves.  Women in business are even more so.  We say things like, “You are so stupid; who would hire you?”  Or “Who do you think you are?  You’ll never get any clients.”  This inner bully does nothing but cause inner pain and turmoil.  But it also keeps us safe.  And if we are safe, we can’t fail… or succeed, as the case may be.

For whatever reason, humans get comfortable with what they know.  Fear of failure and success can be scary.  If we upset the balance of our life, others might challenge us and no one likes confrontation (or at least from what I see they don’t).

Yet we all want so much more.  To have a great business; a fun job; to be thin, healthy and fit; to enjoy life.  So then, it’s important to mute our inner bully and raise the volume of the inner supporter.  We need to set goals — and timelines for reaching those goals — to get those fabulous clients, that great job, lose that weight and have the life we deserve.  It’s just waiting for us to grab it!

Filed Under: Personal Development, Self Worth Tagged With: , ,

Are you being haunted?

April 17, 2014 By

haunted (640x625)Did that get your attention?  I hope so – and I hope you are asking ‘”Haunted by what?”  Haunted by your money story.  Your money story – we all have one – is the story that you tell yourself about why you aren’t good with money, why you feel entitled to spend money, why you believe what you believe around money.  Some are good and some are not so good and others are really haunting.

What is your money story?  Do you feel good about money?  Do you feel powerful with it?  Do you feel in control of your money?  Are you happy with your money and how you handle it?  Do you always have enough money to pay the bills with money left over to take vacations, buy things you like, have experiences you want?

For many, their money story isn’t a pleasant one.  I’ve heard a lot of money stories.  Here are a few – one woman’s mother used to hide money because she was afraid that someone would break in and steal it (even though they lived in a pretty good and safe neighborhood).  She didn’t want anyone inside the family discussing money with anyone else.  She would always say “This goes no further” with such a stern voice, the kids never did talk about money (or anything else for that matter) because they were afraid they would get into trouble….hmmmm

Another woman never had to ask for money; she always got what she wanted and then some.  Her family was very loose with money, always spending it and enjoying it.  And so that is what she did when she was old enough to earn her own living.  Her money story was that money was always there for whatever she wanted, that’s what she had learned.  It wasn’t until she tried to get a mortgage that she realized she was in debt up to her eyeballs and owed almost everyone tons of money – her words.  See she didn’t learn how to live on what she brought in because her money story was that money was meant to be spent and enjoyed.

Two totally different money stories.  The woman whose family didn’t talk about money took that to mean not to talk about money or anything else and to hide it.  And the woman whose family spent freely took that to mean to spend without abandon.  Both women have money issues that get in their way of living the life they want.  Both women’s money stories created painful life experiences and lots of negativity and shame in their lives.

Our money story, while not necessarily a negative, can be something that is holding us back from truly prospering.  So then, what is your money story and is it something you want to change?  If it is, know that you can.  Choose what you want your new money story to be and start living it!

Filed Under: Money Habits Tagged With: , ,

What Happens When You Create Roadblocks

April 9, 2014 By

lotus flowerIf you watched the Olympic Men’s Short Program, you saw American Jeremy Abbott take a bad fall off his quad toe loop and lay on the ice for what seemed like hours!  In the end he did get up and he attacked the ice like there was no tomorrow.  He told the reporter he felt the audience cheering him on and that is how he was able to get up and finish his program and pretty much put in a solid performance from that point on.  You could see the determination on his face, in fact.  He then went on to skate an amazingly strong, both physically and mentally, long program.  You could almost feel that he had released the stress and worry and all that he had been carrying before the fall.

So what happened?  He stepped outside himself and just allowed the skating to happen.  He wasn’t thinking, he wasn’t calculating, he wasn’t pushing, he wasn’t doing.  He was allowing.  It is in the allowing that the flow comes.  As a mentor, coach and motivator (and former adult figure skater) I knew the moment he stepped out onto the ice for the beginning of his short program that he was in his head.  He was thinking, figuring and he was pushing – he was worrying “what if I fall, what if I don’t do well, what if I make a mistake.”  And what happened? Yet after the mistake, he didn’t have to worry about making one.  He just had to go on and do.

It’s in the doing that we reach our success and get what we want.  When we are in our heads, we can’t let go and allow things to happen.  Are you guilty of doing this?  When have you disappointed yourself because you held back by being in fear and worry and self doubt?

As humans we spend too much time in fear, worry and self-doubt!  We spend so much time – waste it really – thinking about doing things and not actually doing them.  I know this because lots of my clients struggle with this and once they have broken through and actually done what they wanted to, they are so astounded by the feelings of accomplishment.  They’re so pleased with themselves that it spurs them on further to try new, exciting opportunities.

In high school I was upset because my hair wouldn’t behave, and it was taking me forever to get ready to go out with my best friend.  I said “I look terrible” and she said “No, you look pretty.  And and don’t take this the wrong way, but not everyone is going to be thinking about you.”  On the surface it could have been a catty remark, but I knew it wasn’t.  She was my best friend and I trusted her word.  It was the wakeup call I needed.  I was putting a lot of pressure on myself which was causing me to be in my head and not out living.

When we let perfectionism and fear of failure get in our way – whoa, it is a recipe for inertia and disaster.  I think what happens to a lot of people is we get caught up in the absolute end result and what we actually want and how we want it, instead of the journey of it and the delightful unexpected experiences we get to have along the way.  I live by the saying “There Are No Mistakes” and that in every moment there is an opportunity to have a breakthrough and to grow and live my life in such vibrancy and joy.  There is such possibility in everything we do, imagine what would happen for us if we just let go of our fear.

Here are several tips for you:

  • Be your best supporter!  When you think highly and positively of yourself, then you feel great inside and you have the courage and confidence to undertake anything you want.
  • Trying trumps inaction every time.  Break things down to small tasks.  Taking one small step, no matter what it is, will be the start of something great.  Getting caught up in thinking it’s going to be such a big task will keep you in inertia every time.
  • There are no mistakes.  Look at things that happen in your life as experiences and ways to learn and grow and live.  To live vibrant and joyfully means to do, be, have.  You must do things to have experiences and you must be in order to do.

How can you support yourself?  How can you begin to take small action steps?  Where will your learnings come from?  Hopefully not from others!

Please feel free to share either by sending me a personal email at kim@kimravida.com or post below here on my blog!

Filed Under: Reaching Goals, Self Worth Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Do you have it?

April 3, 2014 By

money down the drain (640x480)Money, that is.  Or are you wondering where it went?  Where does the money go?  Did it go out the window?  Down the drain?  Was it stolen?  Do you know where your money goes?  If you said yes – congratulations… err maybe.  Do you really know where it goes?  Do you track it or do you just know it goes out to pay bills?

Why am I talking about this?  Because it has recently come to my attention that many people are living blindly.  They have no idea how much money they bring in and worse, how much they send out.

Recently I worked with a client who realized with much dismay and discomfort that more money was going out than coming in and the reason it wasn’t noticed was because credit cards were bridging the gap, which of course caused more stress and anxiety.

Well then, there it was out in the open, she now knew exactly how much money came in and went out.  This knowledge first made her sad, then afraid.  See, she thought she had enough money.  Yes, this knowledge was stressful and scary but once she saw it she was relieved.  Every month she dreaded paying her bills and looking at her checking account because underneath everything she knew she didn’t have enough, she only ‘pretended’ to have enough.  Yet a funny thing happened.  After seeing the figures, she realized that she was no longer at the effect of this but could be at the cause.  She could take steps to release the stress and worry and begin to have enough!  It was a beautiful thing to watch and experience with her.

She had stuck her head in the sand and hoped it would go away… and it didn’t, it only got bigger.  The more she ignored it the bigger it got and the more afraid she became.  The day she found out exactly how much money was coming in and going out was the day everything changed.  She put steps in place to change her behaviors and began really paying attention to her money situation.  She is now making and saving money, paying down debt and feeling great.  She knows exactly what her figures are and she knows she wants to feel empowered rather than afraid.

I’ve been writing a lot on the subject of money.  It’s because it is a hot topic!  The beauty of knowing where your money goes is that you now have a say in it.  Money doesn’t just walk out the door – though it may feel that way.  You have control over it.  Here is your chance to be in control!  Go for it, what do you have to lose?  More money that’s all!  And you have everything to gain, money especially.

I want to teach you how to use your archetypes (don’t worry, I’ll explain what those are) to your advantage so you stop doing the things that sabotage your efforts to grow your money tree! If you are interested, click here for more info.

Filed Under: Money Habits Tagged With: , ,

Do you like your box?

March 27, 2014 By

Woman in red in box.jpgI just came back from a trip to Aruba.  I’ve been there before and love it so much, I’ll go again.  I’ve stayed at the same hotel the past five times but this trip I was at a different hotel.  That’s because my regular hotel — the one I liked and felt comfortable at — closed!  Oh the horrors!  So I put on my big girl pants and embarked on a trip that felt “normal” and comfortable but would be different.

It occurred to me that the same ole same ole, while it is comforting, can work to my disadvantage by keeping me in a comfort zone — aka a box!  I hate being in the box.  But I like my box!  Yet it also means that I’m not living my life and seeing and doing new things!  How did this happen?  Well, for one, I was happy at the hotel I stayed at.  I knew the people and what I’d get, and I liked that.  AND guess what?  That is a good thing.  Just like I create the “know, like and trust factor” for my clients.  Once they get to know me, they like me and then they trust me and stay with me, investing in themselves and getting great results and support.

So then how is this different?  It isn’t really.  My hotel created an experience that I really enjoyed and, truth be told, if it was still open I’d have stayed there this time!  I was happy there, I liked it there and I got what I wanted there.  Just like my clients stay with me.

What I noticed was that the idea of the change was something I didn’t like.  It was because I had to stay at a different hotel; it wasn’t my choice.  I hate that!  Don’t you?  Yup, there it is!  It’s the fact that I didn’t have control of the change.  I had to do it.

Thinking about this though, I see that there is value in having to make a change in your life.  It means that you must come out of your box and do something different.  I know from experience that there is such growth and happiness in coming out of the box and doing something new.

I have a few tips for you as you either choose change (i.e. get out of your box) for yourself or find yourself in a situation such as mine:

  1. There are no mistakes.  If you embrace it, you will soon see that no matter what it is that changes for you, there are opportunities for you to see something different, experience something new and become a more diverse individual.
  2. Every experience is an opportunity for a new beginning.  If you look at change as an opportunity then it no longer is a negative experience.  This viewpoint gives you the chance to behave differently and have an amazing outcome.  It becomes positive and increases the likelihood of having it turnout even better than you imagined.
  3. Embrace change.  Fighting it creates stress and frustration.  Embracing change gives you peace of mind.  And as mentioned above, the opportunity for having an outcome better than you imagined is possible when you embrace change.

In case you are wondering, I had a fabulous time.  I met amazing people whom we wouldn’t have met if we had been at the other hotel.  I got out of my comfort zone and had to navigate the new hotel.  My eyes were fresh, I was more alert and reminded that when I get out of my box, my world is so much more exciting and so much more fun!  Since I’m all about having fun, it’s a great reminder!

Let me ask you this: if you were to let go and trust that things will work out exactly as they are supposed to, wouldn’t you feel more relaxed?  Wouldn’t you be open and receptive to what comes to you?  I think you would.  I’d love to hear your experiences, please feel free to write me personally or post your comments below!

Filed Under: Personal Development Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

How do you handle money?

March 21, 2014 By

smile with cash 2174In response to that question, did you say “Often” or did you say “What money?”  When I ask this question of my clients, I get a lot of unique answers.  Some are so honest and heartfelt while others are quite sad.

One thing I’ve noticed is that most people handle money poorly.  Pun intended.  They have the ‘poor mentality’, which can also be known as a ‘lack mentality’.  The ‘lack mentality’ basically says “I don’t have enough so why bother”.  It is not a great place to be and it will not get you anywhere.  You find yourself with less money than you want and perhaps less than you need.  You get unexpected bills out of nowhere.  You get dragged down even further because you can’t stop thinking “Where is this money going to come from?”  You end up in an endless loop of trying to play catch up and never get caught up.

How you handle money is often how you handle everything in your life.  So if you avoid handling your money, you probably avoid doing and/or handling things in other areas of your life.  If you are late paying your bills, you probably run late for appointments.  If you forget to pay your bills, you probably forget other important dates, too.  See, if you are not handling your money from a place of control, authority or command… then other areas of your life aren’t being handled that way either.  You give up your ability to live your life powerfully, authentically and joyfully.  Yes, all from not handling your money well.

It’s an interesting concept isn’t it?  That is why I brought up the subject.  I know when I first realized that I wasn’t handling money from a positive, empowering point I discovered there were other areas in my life that I also wasn’t handling with confidence.  Once I decided (and yes, it is a decision) to handle money from a positive, empowering place — paying my bills not only on time but early, paying myself, saving money and saying no to overspending — I suddenly had more money and it feel so great!  Once I honored my money and my money habits, other areas of my life changed for the better, too.  It was so cool.

Are you ready to handle your money from a place of empowerment?  I hope so!

I’d like to teach you how to use your archetypes (don’t worry, I’ll explain what those are) to your advantage so you stop doing the things that sabotage your efforts to grow your money tree!  If you are interested, click here for more info.

Filed Under: Personal Development, Self Worth Tagged With: , , , ,

Do you have enough money?

March 13, 2014 By

Money BagWouldn’t it be great to have bags of money? That would be enough… wouldn’t it?

But what does having enough money mean to you?  Have you ever said “I just want to have enough money”?  I’m going to guess that yes, you have.  I know this because that is what my clients say to me… and most anyone I talk to says the same thing.  So my question is what does having enough money mean to you?

I ask because it means different things to different people.  For a pre-teen they might want to have enough money to buy lunch at the school cafeteria and a pack of gum at the corner store.  For a college student they might want to have enough money to buy a car and to go out and have fun in it.  For a working woman/man they might want to have enough money to pay for rent, utilities and food and have extra left for fun and shopping.  For newlyweds it might be for their first home and for a family it might be to house, clothe and feed them all and for a retired couple it might be to maintain a lifestyle.  As you can see, the answer is different for everyone.

No matter where you are it matters what enough means to you and it’s important to know exactly what enough is to you.  Many people have no idea what they need to live.  They have no idea how much income comes in and how much goes out.  In order to have enough money, you need to know your figures.  In my business I need enough money to run my business and cover my operating costs and pay myself a salary.  And I know exactly what those numbers are which makes every decision I make a confident one.

I love to share tips so here are several for you to begin your own journey to having more than enough money for living your life:

  1. Know exactly how much you bring in.  Get a sheet of paper and fold it in half.  On the left, write Income and on the right, Expenses.  Then go through your paychecks and add them up for the month (you could do the whole year but get a monthly figure first).  Write that figure down on the left side of your paper.
  2. Know exactly how much you send out.  Add up all your monthly expenses (again you can do the whole year as you probably have quarterly and yearly expenses, but let’s get that figure for the month first).  Go through them a second time, you’ll forget something – I always do.  Write that figure down on the right side of the paper.
  3. Know your bottom line.  Subtract your expenses from your income.  Hopefully you have a bigger income number than expenses number, but if you do not, don’t panic.  Take a breath and congratulate yourself for taking the time to take this first step to discovery.
  4. How to have more than enough.  If you have less income than expenses, it’s time to look at those expenses and scale back or cut some out.  Sometimes when you see your monthly expenses it is easy to know what needs to go… and sometimes it is more difficult.  Yet if you are spending more than you are earning, you need to make changes.  So get to taking things out!  Don’t confuse a want with a need: want = cable TV and need = food to eat.
  5. Give yourself credit.  It can be scary and discouraging yet you are now on the upswing.  Once you know where you stand, it will be hard to continue doing the things you had been doing that brought you to this point.  You are stronger than you think you are.  This is where you tell yourself you are happy and proud of knowing your exact figures.

I know this is not easy.  I’ve been in the “I don’t have enough money” position.   I’ve had that feeling of “Wow, I can barely feed myself let alone my pets.”  I’ve been there paying one bill I thought was more important to pay before another.  I’ve made half payments to just make sure I sent a payment.

On the flip side, I now experience the relief of knowing my bottom line and the figure that is my ‘enough money’.  I know the triumph of making choices that bring me the result I want, which is having enough money.

If you have had money struggles and overcame them, I’d love to hear how you did it.  Please post below!

Filed Under: Money Habits, Personal Development Tagged With: , , , , , ,
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