How do you handle money?

March 21, 2014 By

smile with cash 2174In response to that question, did you say “Often” or did you say “What money?”  When I ask this question of my clients, I get a lot of unique answers.  Some are so honest and heartfelt while others are quite sad.

One thing I’ve noticed is that most people handle money poorly.  Pun intended.  They have the ‘poor mentality’, which can also be known as a ‘lack mentality’.  The ‘lack mentality’ basically says “I don’t have enough so why bother”.  It is not a great place to be and it will not get you anywhere.  You find yourself with less money than you want and perhaps less than you need.  You get unexpected bills out of nowhere.  You get dragged down even further because you can’t stop thinking “Where is this money going to come from?”  You end up in an endless loop of trying to play catch up and never get caught up.

How you handle money is often how you handle everything in your life.  So if you avoid handling your money, you probably avoid doing and/or handling things in other areas of your life.  If you are late paying your bills, you probably run late for appointments.  If you forget to pay your bills, you probably forget other important dates, too.  See, if you are not handling your money from a place of control, authority or command… then other areas of your life aren’t being handled that way either.  You give up your ability to live your life powerfully, authentically and joyfully.  Yes, all from not handling your money well.

It’s an interesting concept isn’t it?  That is why I brought up the subject.  I know when I first realized that I wasn’t handling money from a positive, empowering point I discovered there were other areas in my life that I also wasn’t handling with confidence.  Once I decided (and yes, it is a decision) to handle money from a positive, empowering place — paying my bills not only on time but early, paying myself, saving money and saying no to overspending — I suddenly had more money and it feel so great!  Once I honored my money and my money habits, other areas of my life changed for the better, too.  It was so cool.

Are you ready to handle your money from a place of empowerment?  I hope so!

I’d like to teach you how to use your archetypes (don’t worry, I’ll explain what those are) to your advantage so you stop doing the things that sabotage your efforts to grow your money tree!  If you are interested, click here for more info.

Filed Under: Personal Development, Self Worth Tagged With: , , , ,

Do you have enough money?

March 13, 2014 By

Money BagWouldn’t it be great to have bags of money? That would be enough… wouldn’t it?

But what does having enough money mean to you?  Have you ever said “I just want to have enough money”?  I’m going to guess that yes, you have.  I know this because that is what my clients say to me… and most anyone I talk to says the same thing.  So my question is what does having enough money mean to you?

I ask because it means different things to different people.  For a pre-teen they might want to have enough money to buy lunch at the school cafeteria and a pack of gum at the corner store.  For a college student they might want to have enough money to buy a car and to go out and have fun in it.  For a working woman/man they might want to have enough money to pay for rent, utilities and food and have extra left for fun and shopping.  For newlyweds it might be for their first home and for a family it might be to house, clothe and feed them all and for a retired couple it might be to maintain a lifestyle.  As you can see, the answer is different for everyone.

No matter where you are it matters what enough means to you and it’s important to know exactly what enough is to you.  Many people have no idea what they need to live.  They have no idea how much income comes in and how much goes out.  In order to have enough money, you need to know your figures.  In my business I need enough money to run my business and cover my operating costs and pay myself a salary.  And I know exactly what those numbers are which makes every decision I make a confident one.

I love to share tips so here are several for you to begin your own journey to having more than enough money for living your life:

  1. Know exactly how much you bring in.  Get a sheet of paper and fold it in half.  On the left, write Income and on the right, Expenses.  Then go through your paychecks and add them up for the month (you could do the whole year but get a monthly figure first).  Write that figure down on the left side of your paper.
  2. Know exactly how much you send out.  Add up all your monthly expenses (again you can do the whole year as you probably have quarterly and yearly expenses, but let’s get that figure for the month first).  Go through them a second time, you’ll forget something – I always do.  Write that figure down on the right side of the paper.
  3. Know your bottom line.  Subtract your expenses from your income.  Hopefully you have a bigger income number than expenses number, but if you do not, don’t panic.  Take a breath and congratulate yourself for taking the time to take this first step to discovery.
  4. How to have more than enough.  If you have less income than expenses, it’s time to look at those expenses and scale back or cut some out.  Sometimes when you see your monthly expenses it is easy to know what needs to go… and sometimes it is more difficult.  Yet if you are spending more than you are earning, you need to make changes.  So get to taking things out!  Don’t confuse a want with a need: want = cable TV and need = food to eat.
  5. Give yourself credit.  It can be scary and discouraging yet you are now on the upswing.  Once you know where you stand, it will be hard to continue doing the things you had been doing that brought you to this point.  You are stronger than you think you are.  This is where you tell yourself you are happy and proud of knowing your exact figures.

I know this is not easy.  I’ve been in the “I don’t have enough money” position.   I’ve had that feeling of “Wow, I can barely feed myself let alone my pets.”  I’ve been there paying one bill I thought was more important to pay before another.  I’ve made half payments to just make sure I sent a payment.

On the flip side, I now experience the relief of knowing my bottom line and the figure that is my ‘enough money’.  I know the triumph of making choices that bring me the result I want, which is having enough money.

If you have had money struggles and overcame them, I’d love to hear how you did it.  Please post below!

Filed Under: Money Habits, Personal Development Tagged With: , , , , , ,

But I don’t have a choice…

February 20, 2014 By

three choices As a women’s business coach, I hear that comment a lot “But I don’t have a choice!”  On the contrary, you do have a choice.  You might not like the choices you are given, but you have a choice.

Once my clients embrace this concept, it’s amazing what happens!  Not only do they start making great choices, they make quick decisions and take fast action.  So therefore, feeling stuck, feeling like they don’t know what to do, and feeling insecure are all gone! Whoosh!

I’d like to point out to you that every time you say — or even think — “I don’t have a choice” you strip yourself of your energy, power and inner strength.  When you are not in a place of “Choice”, you are living as the effect of everything around you.  You’re letting others make decisions for you.  That is a very discouraging place to be!  Being IN “Choice” is the most empowered place to be.

No matter what the situation it, be it personal or professional, we all have the power to have – to take and make – a choice.

You can choose how to respond to something or how to feel about it.  It’s kind of like if someone asks “Do you want spinach or broccoli?” and you want neither.  Well, your first response might be “Well, I don’t have a choice” but you do!  You have more than two choices!  You have the option to say “I don’t want either, thank you.” See?

Sometimes we feel that our choices are cut and dry when often that is not the case.  When you believe you have no choice, you are putting on the breaks and get stuck where you feel like there is no way out.  However, when you stand in what you want and what is best for you, you can find alternative choices that best serve you and help you get to where you are going.

If I can leave you with one bit of motivation, it is to remember no matter what, you always are in “Choice”.

 

Filed Under: Personal Development, Self Worth Tagged With: , ,

Your Ticket To Having A Joyful Holiday Season

December 19, 2013 By

blowing bubblesAh, it’s the time of year that is supposed to be joyful.  Are you joyful?  If you are, please, stop reading and send me your tips.

If you aren’t, I’m going to share with you a couple ways that you can find joy.

First, decide that you want to have joy in your life.  Yes, you want this!

Next, make a list of things that make you feel joy: playing with your kids, going on a date with your spouse, spending time with your pets, being with friends, exercising, reading, going to the movies.  Write down everything that comes to mind (but wait until you’re done reading this).

This next one, my friends, is your ticket to having a joyful holiday season.  What might it be?  Take time to do those things you’ve written down! It’s really that simple!

I don’t want to hear “I don’t have the energy”.  Here’s why. Energy is elusive.  It is hard to describe, yet we feel it pretty much daily… minute to minute actually.  If your energy is low, guess what?  There isn’t a whole lot of joy happening either.  If your energy is high, however, you almost can’t help feeling joyful and having fun. Yet one feeds the other! Joy feeds your energy and energy feeds your joy.  So if you take time to do those things that bring you joy, the energy will come to you.

Remembering this can lead you into January feeling fresh, energized and happy.

I try to live my life with joy in it every day.  Now that is not to say I’m happy every second of every day – but I try to see the joy in things.  The small and the large.  It makes my life rewarding and fulfilling.

I’m willing to be truthful with you; it wasn’t always this way – I was an outward optimist but an inward pessimist.  I was so darn hard on myself… I was a joy-sucker!  (If you have never heard that term before, I’ll be writing about that more soon.)  Anyway, I couldn’t find joy in anything because there was always more to do and have and be.  Boo-hoo.

Things didn’t change until I realized that my negative energy of being the joy-sucker was the cause.  Once I started to raise my energy (simply seeing the small things that brought me joy), I had more peace of mind, success and yes, joy!  And that to me translates into a whole lot of fun!

So stop what you are doing, get out a pen and paper (or slide our your keyboard) and write down the things that make your life joyful, make you smile and make you feel amazing – those are what will lift your energy and bring you what you want!

Filed Under: Personal Development, Self Worth Tagged With: , , ,

Want to be productive? Understand your work style!

December 5, 2013 By

ClockAs an entrepreneur or small business owner it is important that you understand your work style.  If you work from home it is especially important to understand this as your day can easily be filled up with things that aren’t directly related to your business, but things that you want to get done.  Like the dishes, the laundry, sweeping the floor, reading the newspaper, making that one quick phone call, etc.

When I first started my business I fell prey to all of those things I felt I just had to do before I went into my office.  I admit, I still do many of those things but it’s because I realize that I need a neat environment in order to feel productive.   I know how important it is for me to get the dishes done and neaten up the house before beginning work…I just put a time limit on it now.

That being said, my work style today is far different from what it was when I started my business because in the beginning I didn’t have a style.  Now my style is to get up early, have my coffee and plan out my day.  I then like to get ready slow; I eat and get dressed at a leisurely pace and then I pick up my house before heading into my office.  No longer do I have the hour long commute to stress me out so I enjoy getting into my office calm and ready to be productive.

And just like my morning routine, I like to start my work day at a slow pace and then gear up to full production levels.  What I mean is that I have more energy at the end of my day than at the beginning.  I know I don’t have to be in my office at the crack of dawn and I can work until later in the day because that is when I am most productive (just ask my assistant when, at the end of the day her inbox is full and mine in empty).  This was a learning experience in my work style too!  I wanted to get in and get out, but it didn’t work for me and left me feeling frustrated.  Knowing my style makes it easier.

So you see, when you understand your work style—when and how you like to work—you become happier and more productive.  Just like your life style supports your life, your work style supports your work.

Filed Under: Personal Development, Reaching Goals Tagged With: , ,

Three Steps to Chill Out and Be Present

November 27, 2013 By

spilled coffeeThere are so many things we have to… and need to do… and want to do… that it is easy to jam pack our to-do list, our schedule and our life with busy-work.  BUT it is necessary to do so?  You may be saying “Yes, of course it is.  How else am I going to get things done?”  Well, that depends on what you have to get done.

If you are a do-er and an action-taker—and dare I say ‘perfectionist’—it is very easy to get caught up in the doing of it all.  But where does living your life like you want it fit in?  It really doesn’t because you are so busy being in the future about what you have to get done and feel you should be doing that you forget to live in the here and now.

My dad had a saying, well he actually had two that are relevant to share with you: “One day at a time” and “One thing at a time”.  He was good at saying “I’ll be with you in a moment, right now I’m finishing this.”  Meanwhile my mother and I are racing around doing (and not finishing) ten things to his finished one.  I know for sure, by my own experience and those of my friends and clients, that when your attention is not in one place, neither are you.   You simply cannot give whatever you are doing justice if you are not fully present.

Have you ever spilled a beverage, dropped something, banged into the corner of your desk, or stubbed your toe while you were trying to do something else?  That’s being in the future (or the past).  And oh yes, the spilled beverage on your carpet, the shattered screen on your dropped smart phone or the stubbed toe absolutely brings you into the present in a very fast way!  It’s a rude reminder that you need to slow down, take a breath and maybe take a break.

I had a client who woke up one morning, got out her cereal bowl and her juice glass, and before she realized what she was doing the bowl was full of cider.  She was upset and beating herself up over this.  It actually threw off her entire day and when I asked her what was going on the moment before she poured the cider, she said she was thinking about her day and all that she had to do and what she wasn’t going to finish.  And so there you have it:  when we are not present, we can’t fully be mindful of what we are doing.

Would you like to experience fewer mishaps and mistakes throughout your day?  Do you want to accomplish things and have them done right the first time?  Be with yourself and not 10 steps ahead.

Here are three quick and easy ways for you to check in with how you feel and be more mindful and present in the moment:

  • Take a breath.  Do you feel frazzled?  Simply stop moving.  Sit or stand still and breathe in to the count of 5 (slowly), then hold for a count of 2 and let your breath out for a count of 5, pausing for another count of 2.  Try it right now – don’t you feel better?
  • Look around you.  Are you jumpy and anxious?  Look at where you are and what’s near you.  Name what comes into your vision and give it a moment’s thought.  The dog, “Oh, he’s actually snoring in his sleep”; the knickknack you picked up on vacation and what a fun time you had; the clouds in the sky and the shape they appear to you.  Small distractions will settle your thoughts.
  • Change your view.  Do you need to get out of your office?  Do you need to go outside?  Sometimes stopping what you are doing and taking a break is essential to help you be more mindful.  Whatever it is, do it.  Just five minutes can do wonders for your focus.

Follow the above tips and you’ll be mindful and in the present moment in no time (without stubbing your toe).  You’ll be happier, more productive and relaxed too.  And the next time you feel on the edge…go ahead and try one or all of them all and let me know how it works out for you.  Also, feel free to share your thoughts, insights and revelations below!

Filed Under: Personal Development Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Handling What Life Throws Your Way

November 13, 2013 By

Change ahead stampChange is inevitable – after all, nothing really stays the same.  But in today’s challenging times, it seems like we’re on “uncertainty” overload, never knowing what will happen from one moment to the next. Here today, gone tomorrow – or, at the least, very different tomorrow.

Uncertainty brings stress and confusion, and while most of us would be quick to say that we want less stress and more certainty in our lives, what we really want is less of a stress reaction to what life is throwing our way.

We can’t choose what happens to us – but we can choose our responses to the situations we encounter.  Let’s take a look at five different responses that people have to stressful situations. As you read through these five responses, you may want to think of a recent stressful event or news that you may have received, and see what your reaction to that event can teach you about how you habitually respond.  You may have one type of response at work, and another at home, or you may react differently depending on who else is involved.

  • The first, and unfortunately all too common response to stressful events is to suffer and be a victim to it. People who respond this way don’t take action. Things happen TO them – and though they may complain and be generally miserable about it, they don’t take any steps to do anything. They allow life to control them, instead of the other way around. This way of responding is certainly not recommended, and eventually, it will take its toll on one’s physical and mental health.
  • The second type of response is to accept the situation, and to get some perspective on it.  Someone with this response may say “so what,” or perhaps get some perspective on the situation by asking if it will it matter in a year – or a week – or even in a day.
  • The third way to respond is to actually take steps to change the situation – taking action to bring it to resolution (or at least move toward resolution). This is a very powerful response, and one that many effective leaders employ.
  • The fourth way to respond is to avoid the situation. People responding this way make a decision not to get involved in a situation that they don’t see as concerning them, or upon which they can’t make an impact. For example, someone may choose not to get involved in a dispute going on within their office if it doesn’t directly involve them.
  • The fifth and final way that people generally respond to stress is to alter the experience of the situation. When we look at a situation differently, the experience itself changes. Changing perceptions is probably the most challenging of the responses, because we tend to be stuck in our own interpretations and assumptions about what’s happening, but it is also perhaps the most powerful of all.

It’s your world, and you can create it as you wish. Remember, what one person sees as stressful, another person barely notices, or sees as exciting and full of opportunity. How are you going to choose today?

I’d love to hear how you respond to change or how you are going to now choose to respond.  Also, feel free to share your thoughts, insights and revelations below!

Filed Under: Personal Development Tagged With: , , , , ,

Be Clear on Your Outcomes

November 7, 2013 By

Car on mapDo you know what your desired outcome is?

There is a saying, “If you don’t know what road to take, any road will take you there.”  And it’s true.  I’ve experienced it.  Sometimes I just jump in and start something… and then I start again and again when it isn’t working right because I haven’t spent time to do any planning.

Determining what you are doing and why you are doing it—in advance—goes a long way to getting your desired outcome.  Most of my business clients want to make more money.  OK, great, that’s a fabulous outcome.  But when I ask them what they are doing to get more money, they often can’t answer me right away!  They just know on a vague level they want and need to make more money.

So the good news is they know their outcome.  Next they need to break that down to specifics.  Once they are specific it’s easy for them to plan out how they will go about making more money.  Do they need to raise their rates?  Do they need a better way to collect on their invoices?  Do they need to do some inner work on themselves so they stop sabotaging their own efforts?  Do they need money systems and a solid foundation in order to reach their goals (a topic I’ve talked about before)?

Planning is often thought of as boring and so many people skip it.  Yet, planning is an essential part of any success both in business and in personal life.  Planning can be fun, it can be energizing and it can be easy.  Sure it takes time but anything worthwhile does!  Changing a bad habit to a good one, obedience training your dog, and preparing Thanksgiving dinner all take time, but would you not do them simply because you have to put forth some effort?  Of course not!  Not if you want results and success, that is.

Take the time to plan and you will achieve your desired outcome.  There is another saying, “When you fail to plan, you plan to fail.”  I don’t know about you, but I’d rather plan to succeed!

Filed Under: Personal Development Tagged With: , ,

Lead Yourself to Mastery in Your Life & Business

October 10, 2013 By

MasteryAs business owners (and especially soloproneurs), it is easy to fall into this trap of “jack of all trades and master of none”.  Yes, it is a trap and no, it doesn’t have to be this way.  True, you don’t have to be a master at everything, but it is important to be a master at a few things that will lead and drive you to a successful and profitable business.

I love the word “mastery”.  It sounds powerful and it makes me feel good.  Mastery as defined in the dictionary means:  1) expert skill/knowledge or outstanding ability and 2) complete control.

Well, I don’t know about you, but early on in my life and business I had absolutely no control and did not feel as if I had any expert skill/knowledge or outstanding ability.  So, had I heard the term ‘mastery’ back then I would not have liked the word as much as I do today.

I was a jack of all trades doing everything by myself and also doing everything that sounded like a great idea.  And guess what?  Doing it all myself and doing everything that sounded like a great idea actually wasn’t!  When I decided to only work on things that I either had mastered (coaching my clients) or was in the process of mastering (networking/connecting), my life and business became joyful, profitable and fun!

I’ve recently titled a program with the word ‘mastery’ in it because it gives my clients a feeling of anticipation.  It’s the anticipation that will help them be motivated so they too can master the skills they need to be in complete control of their lives and businesses and to take action to reach their goals and have what they want for themselves.

Motivation is a key factor in running a successful and profitable business.  What it boils down to, though, is leadership of oneself and perhaps others.  So if we are to reach a place of mastery, what are some things that we might have to master?

I’m really happy to tell you that it is not as painful as you might think and it can be used for business owners as well as anyone wanting to improve their lives.

Here are three ways in which you can lead yourself to mastery in your life and business:

  1. Get a clear focus.  Decide what it is you want to accomplish.  When you know what your outcome is, it is easy to know what you need to do.
  2. Be specific.  Now that you have your focus, the next step is to decide how you will get there.  This is the time to be specific.  Is there something you need to do, have, or find in order to get started?  List out what you need and must do to reach your goals. Until questions are answered, it’s impossible to lead yourself to completion.
  3. Put your specific action steps in your calendar.  Without this last step, all the focus and planning in the world won’t help you, you need to set aside time to get it done.

When we master something we get a sense of satisfaction, we feel proud and we are excited about it.  I know I want to shout “I did it!”  It is such a great feeling.  That is why aiming toward mastery gives you the anticipation that you are working toward controlling your life, your business and ultimately your destiny.  Wouldn’t you want to hold the position of mastery in your life?  I know I sure do!

You know I love to hear from you, so please feel free to email me at kim@kimravida.com or share your thoughts, insights and revelations below.

 

Filed Under: Personal Development Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

What Do I Do?

September 25, 2013 By

What do I do?I get asked this a lot!  I get it from my business clients and from my fitness clients – and it is usually after someone has said yes to something but now wants to say no. They feel that they can’t change their mind and ask me “Ya, but what do I do?”  I know, it’s a real loop, isn’t it?

It is important to understand and realize that just because we said yes in the first place does not mean that we can never go back and say no.  We agree to do things for many reasons which are usually valid at the time when we say yes.  However then often we have time to think about it and realize a no would have been the best choice.  We genuinely want to help so it’s uncomfortable because we don’t want to disappoint or not be a team player.

Don’t get me wrong, there are times we want to change our mind because we are afraid or are out of our comfort zone and think we can’t do something.  That is not what I am talking about.  I’m talking about things we have said yes to that take us away from our desired outcomes or goals.  Like a client who signed up for a weekly networking meeting and later realized that it was taking her away from running her business and impacting when she could see her clients.  This ultimately led to impacting her money-making abilities so she needed to say no after saying yes.

Where in your life do you need to say no after you have said yes?  Trust me; it isn’t as scary as your gremlin is making it out to be.  We aren’t talking about being mean.  We are all entitled to change our minds and we do not need to offer a great detailed explanation as to why.

You probably think if you say no then:

  • people won’t like you
  • you’ll let others down and they’ll be disappointed in you
  • you’ll look like a failure or worse, you’ll feel like a failure

I am here to tell you that the above are not true!

What is really happening is that you are telling yourself a story about what you think will happen.  You’re talking yourself out of doing what is best for you.  If you aren’t true to yourself, what will happen is that you end up full of resentment, frustration and—even worse—anger at both yourself and the other person.  Let me ask you, do you think this is a good thing?  No, of course it isn’t and you know that.  Which is why you have such an internal tug-o-war; your inner guidance knows it needs to say no and your ego is saying that you can’t.

Saying no authentically and with compassion for both yourself and the other person is the only way to honor yourself. 

I remember the first time I said no after saying yes.  Was I nervous and afraid?  You bet I was.  However, it felt so good that I spoke up for myself and for what I wanted and needed!  Did the world end?  Of course it did not, and it won’t when you do it.

Is there something or someone that you said yes to that now you want to say no?  I encourage you to speak up confidently and say “I know that I said I would do xyz, but I realize that I won’t be able to.”  Sometimes you may be able to make a recommendation or suggestion for a replacement, and if you are by all means please do; just don’t do that in order to take the pressure off of you.  Come from a true place of self-empowerment and you will always feel good about yourself. 

Also, feel free to share your thoughts, insights and revelations below!

Filed Under: Personal Development, Self Worth Tagged With: , , , , , ,
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