It’s not really that hard

April 25, 2019 By

It’s too hard, but is it really?

Recently in my group fitness classes we did a plank challenge.

The challenge was to hold a plank starting one week at one minute and adding an additional 30 seconds each week.

When I first said we were going to do the plank challenge I got a lot of eye rolls and groans. Yet, I’ve got a hardy group of over 50 and beyond participants so they went along with me.

One woman said she couldn’t do it for one minute because it was too hard. So, no problem, hold it for as long as you feel you can.

Which by the way was one minute. Then she proceeded to tell me that it wasn’t really too hard.

Things are not really that hard.

If we are what we think about then what we say is even more impactful.

My fitness participant, who told me she couldn’t hold plank realized that she could and that it wasn’t that hard.

See, she had told herself and then she told me and the rest of the room what she couldn’t do.

And what I teach is to ask yourself “what can I do?” and go from there. I’m a trainer, not a torturer (though I’m sure if you asked some of the members of my group they may tell you otherwise). I set them up for success.

I knew the response I’d get when I told them about our challenge, and I also knew what would happen along the way. That they would learn that things (not only the planks) aren’t really that hard. It’s just how we think and talk about them that can make them seem hard.

You can do what you have to do, and sometimes you can do it even better than you think you can. Jimmy Carter

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What can I do?

We are always telling ourselves stories and usually they are negative. Things such as: “I can’t do that because it’s hard”. Or “I’ve never done that before so I’ll never be able to do it.”

Notice the language. All negative I can’t, it’s hard, I’ve never, I’ll never be. One of the things I know is that in order to succeed in anything, big or small is to change the story you tell yourself and others.

When setting my group up for their planks, I always tell them that this is something that we always do. I remind that they have been doing this for a long time. And I give them permission to take a break when they need to, which means they need to listen to themselves. And I remind them to ask themselves “what can I do”.

And you know what? Everything single one of my group by the end of a month’s time did a complete plank for 2 minutes and 30 seconds.

The best is yet to come.

The best part of it all was when one of my ladies who can often give me the “you have got to be kidding look” said to me “That was easy”. I nearly fell over. I had to ask her to repeat it.

By the way we had already done a good back/shoulder/arm workout which I did purposely to exhaust their muscles at the beginning of the class. She was astounded that after doing the arm work she could still do the plank for the whole time.

When you challenge yourself, when you stretch outside of your comfort zone both physically and mentally you grow in ways that you couldn’t even imagine.

So in order to be the best you can be, ask yourself “what can I do” and then just do it.

Looking for more?

I’m always happy to help others who are looking for more in their lives. If that is you, set up a free session with me!

Filed Under: Business Planning, Empowerment, Personal Development, Planning, Reaching Goals Tagged With: , , ,

What Really Is There To Be Fearful Of?

January 30, 2019 By

Fear, it is said to be false evidence appearing real.

Or another way to look at it is something you have made up.

Does that feel radical to you? Pretty much everything you may be afraid of you are making up.

Stay with me. Let’s say you want to start a business but you know someone who’s business just closed and so you are fearful that your business may close too. Just because something happened to someone else, doesn’t mean it is going to happen to you.

Same story with just because something happened to you in the past, doesn’t mean it will happen to you again.

Using stories to keep us from reaching our potential.

I work with a lot of business owners who also want to have a great life. They want to have great relationships with their family, be healthy and fit  and they want to be able to do what they want in their personal lives.

Do you know that the number one thing that comes up for just about all of my clients is they are afraid that they won’t be able to reach their goals.

They tell themselves stories. Stories that end with “I won’t be able to do that because…” The because is open ended since there are many reasons (ahem, excuses) that they use.

Ultimately though, it is a story that they have created or worse, bought into that keeps them in fear and from reaching their potential.

Don’t let yourself make excuses for not doing the things you want to do. Sam Altman

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It’s time to tell a different story.

Here is an exercise that I do with my clients. We play the “what if” game. We keep asking “what if…” questions. Questions such as “what if you were able to create the business of your dreams?” “What if you were able to live the life you want for yourself?” “What if you could have…?” By doing so, they begin to see how a different story (or looking at things differently) can help them get to where they want to go.

Look, it’s super easy for us to be negative, to take the easy way out and to make tons of excuses (showing up a “reasons”) for why we haven’t realized our dreams. Our brains are actually wired that way!

What if…

Your turn, what if you were to go through the “what if” exercise and keep asking yourself questions until you could see yourself different, your business differently? What if you were able to notice where you were holding yourself back from realizing your dreams, heck, from even beginning your dreams? Would you do it?

I challenge you to take at least 15 minutes (though it won’t take you long to realize you are beginning to think differently) and take yourself through some “what if” scenarios. You can even have someone do it with you. Have them just keep asking you “what if…”

Need help?

Would you like someone to help you with your “what if…” exercise? If yes, I’d be happy to be that someone for you.  Set up a free session with me and we’ll go through the exercise. I promise you’ll walk away seeing things differently and you’ll be on your way to realizing your dreams!

Filed Under: Business Planning, Empowerment, Personal Development, Planning, Reaching Goals Tagged With: , , ,

Are you piling on the bull?

June 23, 2016 By

Did I get your attention? I hope so, that was my intent.

Pile of booksAnd so the next question is, are you? Piling on the bullsh*t that is. Making excuses, having “reasons” for not getting things done? Telling yourself you’ll get to it later and then later never comes? You have probably read other posts from me regarding excuses, and it’s a theme that continues to plague people, but why?

Reasons

Many reasons, self-doubt, fear, worry, and concern which all point to f-e-a-r! Fear of success, fear of failure, fear of what other people will think, will say and more things than I can name in this one blog post. The interesting thing is most people won’t say they are afraid of something specific, fear shows up in very interesting ways.

Fear can show up in ways such as piling too much on yourself to do. If you have big to-do lists and a jammed packed schedule you’ll never get to anything and that actually keeps you safe. However, when you have too much to do, it’s almost impossible to finish any one thing.

Ask yourself are you keeping yourself (because make no mistake, it is you that is doing this) so busy because you absolutely have to do these things or are they holding you back from achieving what it is you want? Be completely honest with your answer here because often we think we have to do things or should do things when we really don’t.

“Do not plan for ventures before finishing what’s at hand.” — Euripides

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What to do

And if you find that you are doing things that you really don’t have to do (or at least do right now) ask yourself what you are a avoiding, it’s a great question because if you ask what you are afraid of more than likely you won’t be able to answer that question -it’s too big and elusive.

By asking yourself what you are avoiding, you’ll be able to reach what it is that you are afraid of in a roundabout way. When one of my clients asked this question of herself she realized that she was afraid of saying no to others both in business and in life. So by keeping herself so busy she never had to say ‘no’ since she had other things she could cite as her reasons why she couldn’t do something.

Here’s the trick, learn to say no and feel good about it. That’s a whole blog for another day (we’ll get to that soon). Right now, take a look at where you are piling on the bullsh*t on yourself and then you can look at how to let it go.

Come on over to my Facebook page and share your experiences and any tips you have used to eliminate your stress.

 

Filed Under: Empowerment, Personal Development, Reaching Goals, Self Worth Tagged With: , , ,

Would you do it?

February 1, 2016 By

It’s official! It’s February and I went and did it. I signed up for the Blog A Day Challenge.

I must admit, I’m a little tense about it. It’s not my first time blogging, I blog regularly. What is new is that I’ll be doing it every day.

Baloo under the covers

Baloo under the covers

Until today I was blogging about several times a month or even weekly (and I thought that was a stretch). I’m up for the challenge though because I’m ready to take myself and my business to the next level and I know that I can’t do that unless I’m willing to step outside my comfort zone. As someone who regularly asks others to step outside their comfort zone, I need to be prepared and willing to do the same myself.

What’s going to be different here is that I’m doing this all on my own. I usually have my assistant read through and proofread my blogs to make sure I don’t make any typos and that I make sense. This challenge is going to be all me. So I might make a few mistakes or have a snafu (or two) happen and that is what is really the crux of it all and why I’m tense about this challenge. I mean come on, it might not be perfect.

AND I’m going to do it anyway. I’m willing to step outside my comfort zone and show up in the world to grow and to show others that it doesn’t have to be perfect (you can also read that to say I don’t have to be perfect =). I can do it. I’m really looking forward to it and where this experience takes me.

If you resonate with this, let me know what your fear point is that you would like to overcome. You can reply to this blog or email privately at kim@kimravida.com

Would you like to participate in the Blog A Day Challenge? If so, sign up here: http://thrive4success.com/blogadaychallenge2016/ we can do it together!

Filed Under: Empowerment, Reaching Goals Tagged With: , , ,

Secret to being successful in business

January 29, 2015 By

mindset word cloudI’ve been working with an amazing group of business owners in my Prosperous Business Mastery Group Program.  Each and every one has been stepping up and shining the light on themselves.  One of the things that has been paramount for them is to get really clear about what they want.  It’s very exciting to see what they have been creating in only a short time!

When we are unclear about our end result, it’s hard to know what to do in order to get there.  Therefore, being crystal clear about what we want, why we want it, and what we will do to get it will make all the difference in the world.

Since there already has been much written about steps to take to reach our goals, I want to touch on something that most people don’t know about — or if they do, they don’t utilize well.  It’s called MINDSET.  In business, having a positive, can-do, will-do mindset is one of the secrets to success.

Just what is mindset?  Mindset is:  a state of mind, frame of mind, attitude, approach, way of thinking, outlook.  And guess what?  Many people have a negative mindset.  A positive mindset, on the other hand, is always a work in progress.

Take a moment and think about someone who you think is successful; someone you would like to emulate.  Got it?  Okay, now think about their actions, their words, how they do things, what they do, what they say, how they present themselves, and how they conduct themselves.  What do you notice?  Do you notice someone who is confident and sure of themselves?  How about joyful, peaceful, engaging, exuberant, solid?  Someone with a positive mindset is all of those and more.

They especially do not make excuses, they do what they said they would do, they take chances, they get things done, they get up early and stay late, they never say “I can’t”, and they look for solutions and opportunities.  They don’t allow obstacles, other people or anything to get in their way.

A great mindset can propel you forward in your life and business, while a bad mindset can make your life miserable.  It’s up to you.  Do you want misery or do you want success?

For some people, they generally have a good mindset but they allow things to get in the way and throw them off course.  Either way, having a negative mindset or one that allows you to get thrown off course will — without a doubt — hold you back, make things more difficult for you and lead to overall unhappiness.

I really want you to master your mindset.  Here are several questions to help you mind your mindset so that you experience all the success you want!

  • Is it your thought?  One thing I discovered about myself a long time ago was that I had thoughts that weren’t mine.  Well, they were in my head but they weren’t my thoughts.  I realized that I had been programmed by comments and opinions from other people.  I’d hear someone say “Look at that person; they aren’t a good person.”  So the next person I saw who closely resembled that person, I’d automatically think “Well, that person isn’t a good person.” But was that true?  Probably not!  So when you have a thought, question it, challenge it.  Is it your real opinion or one of a colleague, friend or parent?  Make sure you are thinking your thoughts and not someone else’s.
  • Does thinking this way help me move forward?  If the answer is yes, fantastic.  If no, it’s time to question your thinking.  If you think “I’m not good enough to do this” or “I have no business doing this” ask yourself why you think that.  Nine times out of ten it’s because you might not feel confident in what you are about to do and/or you need additional info.  So what is a different thought that you can have?  “I am good enough and will learn how to do this” or “I know exactly why I want to do this and will absolutely make it happen.” Consciously swap your negative thoughts for positive ones.
  • What am I afraid of?  Often a negative mindset is driven by fear.  Fear of failure, fear of being rejected, fear of losing love.  (I could go on but I think you get what I’m saying.)  What are you afraid of?  Lots of times your mindset is directly related to that fear.  I once had a client who was afraid to talk to his wife about money; he had made a few mistakes and was afraid she wouldn’t love him anymore.  This negative mindset lead to much stress and anxiety… and you know what that lead to, an even more negative mindset.  We walked through an exercise for this and once he realized what he was afraid of he was able to let it go.

In the end, a negative mindset is destructive!  However, these tips will get you started on the road to changing your ‘stinking thinking’ for something more positive, enlightening and constructive for you.

I’d love for you to share your experience with your mindset, what you did to change it and what results you got.  Feel free to send me a personal email or post below here on my blog!

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Fear, What’s It Got To Do With Anything?

March 12, 2012 By

Fear – I know it well.  It has been a part of my life since… well, since I can remember!  Sometimes it has served me and other times not.  So what’s it got to do with anything?

For the most part, I have come to discover that it really doesn’t have to do with much at all when you ultimately realize what it is.  Fear is our mind creating stories, situations, and scenarios that hold us back.  Now, don’t get me wrong, there is real fear – like if someone is chasing you down a dark alley, that’s real and is truly frightening.  But let’s say that you wanted to leave your job but stayed because you were fearful that you might not get another one or that you wanted to lose weight but were fearful that your loved ones wouldn’t support you.  See, fear – as we humans have come accustomed to feeling it — really is just a stumbling block to being what you want, having what you want and doing what you want.  Fear is an excuse.

Did I get your attention?  I hope so, because I really want you to stand up and say “I will not allow fear to rule my life and keep me in limbo.”  I was in limbo for many years.  Although I still feel fear when I’m about to do something new – like when I left my secure, well-paying job (that I hated by the way) and embarked on a new career — now I ask myself, “So what’s fear got to do with this anyway?” The answer is always because I made up some story about what may happen and what I might be leaving behind.  I focus on how lousy I believe my experience is going to be without knowing for a fact how it will turn out. So no wonder I get fearful!

How many times do you do that?  I know I was doing it way too much – even down to trying a new restaurant because I was afraid it would not be good.  Then I realized my fear was just a story I made up in my head; so I changed the story and tried the new restaurant… and I love it!  It showed me that by having a positive approach and outlook, I give myself the opportunity to have a wonderful and successful experience.  So no longer am I stuck doing the same things, feeling the same ways and being miserable.  The gift is that I experience so much joy on a daily basis, I have fun all the time, and I have fantastic adventures that I wouldn’t have had if I stayed in my fear zone!

I’m here to tell you that fear has NOTHING to do with it – you do!  As Eleanor Roosevelt said:  “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.  You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.”  Again, I can tell you that this statement is so very true!  And once you do it, you will be so amazed at the results – sometimes you even get something you never imagined.

How will you go out and get what you want now that you know that fear doesn’t have to control you?  What is one fear you will face in the next week to move you forward? Share your fears and how you’ll change those ‘stories’; I’d love to hear them!

 

© Copyright 2012 Kim Ravida Coaching. All rights reserved. Feel free to use the material from the article in whole or in part, just makes sure you include this complete acknowledgement including the live website link and let me know where the material will appear: “Kim Ravida, owner and founder of Kim Ravida Coaching, is a Certified Professional Coach and a personal and professional motivation mentor. In essence, she motivates people to stop beating themselves up and helps them get off their butts so that they maximize their time and energy to quickly get what they want in their lives… and love their reflection! Kim produces a weekly ezine where she shares insights, inspirations, tips and ideas for setting and reaching personal and professional goals. To get more information or sign up, please go to www.kimravida.com.” 

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