What valuable opportunities are you actually making for yourself?

February 16, 2016 By

My blog yesterday was about how action is the key to success. It was in regards to money (one of my favorite subjects if you haven’t already guessed =).

As a business owner it is important to be in action in many areas of your business. I recently committed to doing a month long blog challenge; you may know this if you read my blog. It’s posting a blog a day (now that’s a lot of action). Did I mention that I was blogging 1-2 times a month before this?

At first I wasn’t sure I wanted to do it but I said yes in spite of not being sure. And boy am I glad I did. I wanted to share with you what has happened for me because I decided to participate and take an act every day toward my results.

How we do one thing is how we do everything

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How we do one thing is how we do everything, I was able to use the steps I outlined in my article yesterday “An awesome way to be powerful in making money” because the steps applied to my action on blogging daily and away I went.

Here is what I learned:

  • I am more disciplined than I was giving myself credit for.
  • It’s easier than I had thought.
  • How to have fun with this process.
  • To navigate in WordPress (I didn’t do my own posting before).
  • How to link back to previous articles.
  • To create images to share on my blog posts.
  • Why it’s important to create intriguing titles.

The really amazing part though is how much more confidence I have had with myself.  AND there is still two weeks to go!  Imagine what will happen for me in the next two weeks.  I can’t wait.

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Have you ever taken an action that you learned more from than you thought you would? I would love to hear what happened for you. Feel free to post here or email me privately at kim@kimravida.com to share.

Filed Under: Empowerment, Personal Development, Reaching Goals, Self Worth Tagged With: , , ,

The Secret to Success

March 26, 2015 By

I refuse to quit message, handwriting with chalk on blackboard, lifestyle change conceptDo you love secrets?  I used to as a kid; it was so awesome to hear “I’m just telling you this and no one else.” How thrilling it was to be the keeper of the secret!  However, I soon realized there were others who knew the same secret… so it wasn’t much of a secret, was it?

Then, how can I tell you the secret of success and still have it be a secret?  Doesn’t really make any sense, right?  Well, okay, the secret really isn’t a secret.  BUT it is something that if you do it, you will have success!  And if you don’t, you will continue to have stress, frustration and overwhelm, not to mention much unhappiness and feeling bad about yourself.  So what is this secret to success?

Drum roll, please.  The secret to success is to change your perspective.  Yes, change your perspective.  Easy, right?  Well, not so fast.  If it were, we’d actually do it.  If change were easy – well, we’d all have so much joy, happiness and success all of the time.  So what makes changing our perspective so challenging?  That’s easy to answer: it is all in the word ‘change’.  We need to alter, amend or adjust what we are thinking, doing and saying.  And oftentimes we aren’t clear on that and so we say “I hate change.”  And because we ‘hate’ change, we won’t do it. 

Notice that last phrase “won’t do it” – it has such a limiting feel, doesn’t it?  Picture a child stamping his/her foot – they normally don’t say “I won’t”, they just say “NO!” It’s the same thing when you say ‘won’t’.  Hmmm.  Ringing any bells?  ‘Can’t’ is a word that shows up, too.  Do you ever hear yourself saying “I can’t” either out loud or inside your head?  So my friend, when you find yourself in that ‘won’t’ and ‘can’t’ place, that’s a good time for the perspective change to come in.

Think of a time where you were trying to get something done and you kept coming up against obstacle after obstacle and finally you said “Never mind, I give up.”  What happened?  Did you suddenly have a bright idea of how to get what you wanted?  More often than not, the answer is yes.  I know because it happens to me and to my clients, so I’m not just making things up here.  It’s because you decided (without you even knowing) to have a perspective change – you gave up.  But what you really did was release the expectation to the outcome you had going on in your head.

See, when we change the way we look at things, no matter how small, the things we look at change.  Dr. Wayne Dyer says that all the time and he’s right.

So the secret is easy, right?  Change your perspective and change your life.  Yet so many people resist it because they are used to behaving in a certain way, even if it isn’t consciously.  We self-sabotage all the time and think we have no control over anything that happens to us.  But we do, we do!  Change is NOT hard.  Change is easy.  It is what we tell yourself about change that makes it hard.  We make up all of these stories in our head about this and that, and rarely do they come true.  All that does is hold us firmly rooted in stress, frustration and overwhelm that leads to unhappiness.  Give this secret a try and shift your perspective to something that is more pleasing to you and will bring you the happiness you want.

What’s one thing right now that you can change your perspective on?  Maybe it’s something you have been saying “I can’t” about or stomping your foot saying “NO, I won’t”.  Where can you have a slight perspective shift that will take you from stress, frustration and overwhelm to joy, peace and ease?  Go on, I know once you do it you will feel so much better!

When you do, feel free to comment below and let me know what the shift did for you and how much better you feel!

Filed Under: Personal Development, Reaching Goals Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

How Happy Are You?

November 13, 2014 By

Are you happy - doodleI love this question.  I often ask my clients this.  Usually they tell me they aren’t very happy and it always makes me sit up straight.  Why are they unhappy?  What could be making them unhappy? From my perspective they have thriving businesses, healthy families, and lots of things going well for them.  I know this because we start our coaching sessions with celebrations and accomplishments.  So for them to later say that they aren’t very happy always takes me by surprise.

It turns out they didn’t get a client they thought there were going to get, their day didn’t go as planned, they got a bill they forgot about, something was more money than they expected.  At home, their kids aren’t behaving, their husband isn’t cooperating or something is going on that they don’t like.  Some have sickness in their families or in themselves.  Whatever it is, it’s bringing them down from feeling like they can be happy.

I try to teach them that their happiness is directly related to how they feel about themselves and the world around them.  It’s how they see all the things that are in their life (or not) and how they feel about them.  And this goes for you too.

Say you are trying to lose weight, and are taking steps to do so, but are not seeing much progress.  Yet your gym buddy is shedding the pounds faster than you can say “hey”.  In this scenario you might feel bad about yourself, which in turn will make you feel like you are not happy.  But wait a minute… what if you were to congratulate your gym buddy, be happy for her and be happy with what you have accomplished so far?  Do you think that might shift you away from feeling bad?  You bet!  What happens is you now take the focus off of her and the judging of yourself off of you, and put your attention on yourself and what you have done.

Happiness really comes from our feelings, which comes sometimes from our perceptions, thoughts, beliefs, patters, behaviors and experiences.

Stop for a moment and ask yourself, “In this moment, what am I feeling?”  One of the things that I have been practicing, as well as sharing with my clients — and pretty much everyone because I think it’s so impactful — is a line in Eckhart Tolle’s book the Power of Now.  He says “Focus your attention on the Now and tell me what problem you have at this moment.”  It’s insightful because if you truly focus on the Now, you can’t have a problem.  A problem usually is born when we are in the future and thinking about what might happen to us or others.

In order to be happy more of the time, be in your present moment because that is all you have.  If you have a moment that isn’t to your liking, then do something about it.  Make a change, take an action, do something.  Simply by changing how we think and feel, we can change the experience we have.

Let me give you an example.  I had a relative that was sick for a long time — I’m talking months in and out of the hospital.  Things needed to be done, meetings held with the medical staff, organization of personal bills, and care for the house and such.  There were a lot of drop-everything-and-race-to-the-hospital moments.  It was stressful and, no, I was not happy for many reasons.  My relative whom I love was sick and in pain, I had to put my own life and business on hold for days sometimes, and I had to say no to a lot of opportunities both in my personal life and business because we needed to care for our relative.  So when I asked myself if I was happy, the answer was been no.

Then I realized I was not living in my Now! Instead I was living in the land of the “what ifs” — and not the what-if-something-great-happens.  I recognized that I never have a problem in my Now.  My problems arise when I set foot outside of Now and go into Future.  I realized I could be happy when I went the hospital and that absolutely helped my sick relative as I wasn’t bringing all my doom and gloom in when I visited.  Of course, it helped me feel better and all of a sudden, things around me started to look better.

We only have one life to live.  It’s important for us to remember that we are the driver of our life and we have a right to be as happy as the next person.  So pay attention to your feelings, your thoughts, your actions… and take note.  “Am I happy?  What do I need to let go of in order to be happy?  Is it a feeling?  Is it a thought? Is it an action?”

Today, give yourself permission to be happy — as happy as you want — because it’s the greatest gift you give to yourself, those around you and the world.

Would you like to share an experience you had when you decided to be happy?  Please feel free to share either by sending me a personal email at kim@kimravida.com or post your comment below!

Filed Under: Personal Development, Self Worth Tagged With: , , , ,

Puzzles, Perfectionists and Perception

May 29, 2014 By

BLOG letters on corkboardI’ve decided to experiment with a new format. Usually I provide one article, but today I share my blog posts that you might have missed. They are insightful and though-provoking. You know I like to inspire action and change! Let me know what you think of the new format!

Do you like puzzles?
Life is like a jigsaw puzzle. There are lots of pieces that show up – often as problems – and you must try to solve them one after the other, and often it feels as if there are too many pieces and too many puzzles. Click here to read more…

Do you believe it?
Life is such a joy! Ok, give it to me. You thought or said to yourself “Really? Is she serious?” I know you did because I come across so many people who think that life has to be hard and things have to be difficult. They’re the ones that when something goes easy and simply, they wonder when the other shoe is going to fall. How did we get to this place of expecting the other shoe to fall? Why do we always look for what is wrong? Finish reading…

Are you too perfect?
Are you a perfectionist? Ah there it is, it’s out in the open. Did you say “Yes I am” loud and proud or did you said “Yes I am but I’m trying not to be”? But what is a perfectionist… really? Continue reading…

 

 

Filed Under: Personal Development, Self Worth Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

How great are you?

May 15, 2014 By

smily face.jpgI have aligned myself with others who share similar interests and philosophies and theories when it comes to living a great life.

So just how great are you? Would you say – like Muhammad Ali did –“I am the greatest”? Or would you say “I’m not that great”? You are truly greater and wiser than you think you are. So then, how can you begin to live in what Jay Forte calls ‘Your Greatness Zone’? If you aren’t sure of what that is, get his book click here.

One of the things I know for sure is that we weren’t put on this earth to be average; we were put here to be great! We were put here to excel and to share our gifts. Everyone has different gifts and talents. Sadly, many of us have been formed into a life of what others thought would be best for us. I have a client who went to school to become an accountant because that is what her father said she should do. She hated it, and so after many years decided to do something else. She is now a Reiki master and loves what she does. Another client became an engineer because his father was one and expected him to be one too. There was no other alternative for this person. He is still an engineer only he has learned to use his skills, talents and gifts to his advantage and has come to love his work.

My own story is that I didn’t excel in school. I never felt smart and was never encouraged to try new things. I was encouraged to do the best I could… but what was I best at? I did not know. When it came time to finish high school I did not have a plan of what I was going to do. I knew I had to do something, so I enrolled in the local community college and got an Associate degree in Secretarial Sciences. I worked in that field for about 25 years. In the middle of my 25-year-role in support, I got my business degree and began teaching group exercise: both of which I loved. I realized my greatness was to teach, inspire and help others live fabulous lives and to help business owners and leaders excel at what they do best.

Here are a few things to think about in order for you to begin tapping into your greatness:

  • Figure out what makes your heart sing. What are you good at? What comes naturally to you? What do you love to do – so much that when you are doing it you lose track of time? What is easy for you? What do you always jump at doing? For the next week, make a list of what you notice.
  • Your childhood interests. Think back to when you were young, what did you love to play? For me, I loved to play teacher – not surprising then that I found teaching was what felt great to me. Take some time next week to list out all those things you loved to do as a child, whether playing with others or by yourself.
  • What have other people complimented you on? This is eye opening. We get feedback all the time from others – usually we only pay attention to the negative feedback or that which we do not like. But I know you have been given compliments or comments that you probably haven’t paid much attention to. Think about comments others have said to you – such as “You are really calm, you do a great job at organizing parties. How do you get so much done?” Or an even better idea is to ask 5-10 trusted friends/colleagues what they think you do particularly well.

Remember what I said about you being greater and wiser than you think you are. Ask yourself “What do I want to be great at? What will bring me the most happiness and joy? How can I live a great life?” Then set some time aside to start planning and creating what you want for yourself and watch what amazing opportunities, people and experiences start coming into your life.

I’m so sure that you’ll have amazing things come into your life and I’d love to hear about them. Please post to my blog below or reply to this email!

Filed Under: Personal Development, Self Worth Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

What Happens When You Create Roadblocks

April 9, 2014 By

lotus flowerIf you watched the Olympic Men’s Short Program, you saw American Jeremy Abbott take a bad fall off his quad toe loop and lay on the ice for what seemed like hours!  In the end he did get up and he attacked the ice like there was no tomorrow.  He told the reporter he felt the audience cheering him on and that is how he was able to get up and finish his program and pretty much put in a solid performance from that point on.  You could see the determination on his face, in fact.  He then went on to skate an amazingly strong, both physically and mentally, long program.  You could almost feel that he had released the stress and worry and all that he had been carrying before the fall.

So what happened?  He stepped outside himself and just allowed the skating to happen.  He wasn’t thinking, he wasn’t calculating, he wasn’t pushing, he wasn’t doing.  He was allowing.  It is in the allowing that the flow comes.  As a mentor, coach and motivator (and former adult figure skater) I knew the moment he stepped out onto the ice for the beginning of his short program that he was in his head.  He was thinking, figuring and he was pushing – he was worrying “what if I fall, what if I don’t do well, what if I make a mistake.”  And what happened? Yet after the mistake, he didn’t have to worry about making one.  He just had to go on and do.

It’s in the doing that we reach our success and get what we want.  When we are in our heads, we can’t let go and allow things to happen.  Are you guilty of doing this?  When have you disappointed yourself because you held back by being in fear and worry and self doubt?

As humans we spend too much time in fear, worry and self-doubt!  We spend so much time – waste it really – thinking about doing things and not actually doing them.  I know this because lots of my clients struggle with this and once they have broken through and actually done what they wanted to, they are so astounded by the feelings of accomplishment.  They’re so pleased with themselves that it spurs them on further to try new, exciting opportunities.

In high school I was upset because my hair wouldn’t behave, and it was taking me forever to get ready to go out with my best friend.  I said “I look terrible” and she said “No, you look pretty.  And and don’t take this the wrong way, but not everyone is going to be thinking about you.”  On the surface it could have been a catty remark, but I knew it wasn’t.  She was my best friend and I trusted her word.  It was the wakeup call I needed.  I was putting a lot of pressure on myself which was causing me to be in my head and not out living.

When we let perfectionism and fear of failure get in our way – whoa, it is a recipe for inertia and disaster.  I think what happens to a lot of people is we get caught up in the absolute end result and what we actually want and how we want it, instead of the journey of it and the delightful unexpected experiences we get to have along the way.  I live by the saying “There Are No Mistakes” and that in every moment there is an opportunity to have a breakthrough and to grow and live my life in such vibrancy and joy.  There is such possibility in everything we do, imagine what would happen for us if we just let go of our fear.

Here are several tips for you:

  • Be your best supporter!  When you think highly and positively of yourself, then you feel great inside and you have the courage and confidence to undertake anything you want.
  • Trying trumps inaction every time.  Break things down to small tasks.  Taking one small step, no matter what it is, will be the start of something great.  Getting caught up in thinking it’s going to be such a big task will keep you in inertia every time.
  • There are no mistakes.  Look at things that happen in your life as experiences and ways to learn and grow and live.  To live vibrant and joyfully means to do, be, have.  You must do things to have experiences and you must be in order to do.

How can you support yourself?  How can you begin to take small action steps?  Where will your learnings come from?  Hopefully not from others!

Please feel free to share either by sending me a personal email at kim@kimravida.com or post below here on my blog!

Filed Under: Reaching Goals, Self Worth Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Whose Life Is It, Anyway?

October 23, 2013 By

stamp guaranteed authenticAre you living your life the way you want to?  Before you switch to autopilot and say yes… pause and think about that question.  Are you living your life the way you really want to?  If you can honestly say yes, I congratulate you!  Yet, if you are one of many who hang their head and say “No, I’m not” then I am happy to tell you that can change.

You’re not alone.  I have worked with women who went to school for a degree they weren’t even interested in just because their parents insisted.  I have worked with women who got married to a man they didn’t love just because it was expected of them by their families.  I have worked with women who had no idea what it was they wanted, but knew they are tremendously unhappy with who they became and where they were in their lives.

This is common because most women like to please.  And if you are anything like I used to be, not pleasing someone else is so painful that you just don’t let it happen.  Yet, who suffers when you are not even trying to please yourself?  You are!

First, you need to understand you are entitled to have the life you want; a life which is agreeable to you and supports you and your desires.  You just have to take the action to get it.

The first step is a matter of knowing who you are.  And that might be really hard especially if you have been pretending to be someone else because you don’t even know who you are or what you want.

So, get to know who you are.  Who are you when you are being your true, authentic self?  Seems easy on the surface, right?  Not necessarily.  In order to work toward getting to know you—to really know yourself—spend quiet time alone with paper and pen to answer the following questions (schedule this on your calendar if you have to):

  • What makes me smile?
  • What excites me?
  • When do I feel the most joy?
  • What makes me feel good?
  • What are my favorite hobbies or past-times?
  • What am I really good at doing?

Don’t hold back your answers.  Let them flow.  This is for you!   However, if you feel that you are holding back, it is a telltale sign you are possibly afraid you will be judged by others.  Stop!  This is what got you in this position in the first place; it only leads to you behaving like someone else.

So now you have your true answers to the questions above.  Think about how it would feel if you pursued them and didn’t have any fear of being judged or questioned.  (Yes, you can do this. You must do this in order to have the life you really want!)

You would feel great, happy, free, liberated, justified, excited about life and maybe many other feelings, too!  And ultimately…you would now know the real you, right?

Remember, the first step to being yourself is to know yourself.  And just like when you meet someone new whose company you enjoy and want to know more about them… getting to know yourself is like gaining a new best friend. 

Let me know how you make out, and also, feel free to share your thoughts, insights and revelations below or post to my Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/KimRavidaCoaching page if you are willing to share with my community.

Filed Under: Self Worth Tagged With: , , , , , , ,