Puzzles, Perfectionists and Perception

May 29, 2014 By

BLOG letters on corkboardI’ve decided to experiment with a new format. Usually I provide one article, but today I share my blog posts that you might have missed. They are insightful and though-provoking. You know I like to inspire action and change! Let me know what you think of the new format!

Do you like puzzles?
Life is like a jigsaw puzzle. There are lots of pieces that show up – often as problems – and you must try to solve them one after the other, and often it feels as if there are too many pieces and too many puzzles. Click here to read more…

Do you believe it?
Life is such a joy! Ok, give it to me. You thought or said to yourself “Really? Is she serious?” I know you did because I come across so many people who think that life has to be hard and things have to be difficult. They’re the ones that when something goes easy and simply, they wonder when the other shoe is going to fall. How did we get to this place of expecting the other shoe to fall? Why do we always look for what is wrong? Finish reading…

Are you too perfect?
Are you a perfectionist? Ah there it is, it’s out in the open. Did you say “Yes I am” loud and proud or did you said “Yes I am but I’m trying not to be”? But what is a perfectionist… really? Continue reading…

 

 

Filed Under: Personal Development, Self Worth Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

How great are you?

May 15, 2014 By

smily face.jpgI have aligned myself with others who share similar interests and philosophies and theories when it comes to living a great life.

So just how great are you? Would you say – like Muhammad Ali did –“I am the greatest”? Or would you say “I’m not that great”? You are truly greater and wiser than you think you are. So then, how can you begin to live in what Jay Forte calls ‘Your Greatness Zone’? If you aren’t sure of what that is, get his book click here.

One of the things I know for sure is that we weren’t put on this earth to be average; we were put here to be great! We were put here to excel and to share our gifts. Everyone has different gifts and talents. Sadly, many of us have been formed into a life of what others thought would be best for us. I have a client who went to school to become an accountant because that is what her father said she should do. She hated it, and so after many years decided to do something else. She is now a Reiki master and loves what she does. Another client became an engineer because his father was one and expected him to be one too. There was no other alternative for this person. He is still an engineer only he has learned to use his skills, talents and gifts to his advantage and has come to love his work.

My own story is that I didn’t excel in school. I never felt smart and was never encouraged to try new things. I was encouraged to do the best I could… but what was I best at? I did not know. When it came time to finish high school I did not have a plan of what I was going to do. I knew I had to do something, so I enrolled in the local community college and got an Associate degree in Secretarial Sciences. I worked in that field for about 25 years. In the middle of my 25-year-role in support, I got my business degree and began teaching group exercise: both of which I loved. I realized my greatness was to teach, inspire and help others live fabulous lives and to help business owners and leaders excel at what they do best.

Here are a few things to think about in order for you to begin tapping into your greatness:

  • Figure out what makes your heart sing. What are you good at? What comes naturally to you? What do you love to do – so much that when you are doing it you lose track of time? What is easy for you? What do you always jump at doing? For the next week, make a list of what you notice.
  • Your childhood interests. Think back to when you were young, what did you love to play? For me, I loved to play teacher – not surprising then that I found teaching was what felt great to me. Take some time next week to list out all those things you loved to do as a child, whether playing with others or by yourself.
  • What have other people complimented you on? This is eye opening. We get feedback all the time from others – usually we only pay attention to the negative feedback or that which we do not like. But I know you have been given compliments or comments that you probably haven’t paid much attention to. Think about comments others have said to you – such as “You are really calm, you do a great job at organizing parties. How do you get so much done?” Or an even better idea is to ask 5-10 trusted friends/colleagues what they think you do particularly well.

Remember what I said about you being greater and wiser than you think you are. Ask yourself “What do I want to be great at? What will bring me the most happiness and joy? How can I live a great life?” Then set some time aside to start planning and creating what you want for yourself and watch what amazing opportunities, people and experiences start coming into your life.

I’m so sure that you’ll have amazing things come into your life and I’d love to hear about them. Please post to my blog below or reply to this email!

Filed Under: Personal Development, Self Worth Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

What Happens When You Create Roadblocks

April 9, 2014 By

lotus flowerIf you watched the Olympic Men’s Short Program, you saw American Jeremy Abbott take a bad fall off his quad toe loop and lay on the ice for what seemed like hours!  In the end he did get up and he attacked the ice like there was no tomorrow.  He told the reporter he felt the audience cheering him on and that is how he was able to get up and finish his program and pretty much put in a solid performance from that point on.  You could see the determination on his face, in fact.  He then went on to skate an amazingly strong, both physically and mentally, long program.  You could almost feel that he had released the stress and worry and all that he had been carrying before the fall.

So what happened?  He stepped outside himself and just allowed the skating to happen.  He wasn’t thinking, he wasn’t calculating, he wasn’t pushing, he wasn’t doing.  He was allowing.  It is in the allowing that the flow comes.  As a mentor, coach and motivator (and former adult figure skater) I knew the moment he stepped out onto the ice for the beginning of his short program that he was in his head.  He was thinking, figuring and he was pushing – he was worrying “what if I fall, what if I don’t do well, what if I make a mistake.”  And what happened? Yet after the mistake, he didn’t have to worry about making one.  He just had to go on and do.

It’s in the doing that we reach our success and get what we want.  When we are in our heads, we can’t let go and allow things to happen.  Are you guilty of doing this?  When have you disappointed yourself because you held back by being in fear and worry and self doubt?

As humans we spend too much time in fear, worry and self-doubt!  We spend so much time – waste it really – thinking about doing things and not actually doing them.  I know this because lots of my clients struggle with this and once they have broken through and actually done what they wanted to, they are so astounded by the feelings of accomplishment.  They’re so pleased with themselves that it spurs them on further to try new, exciting opportunities.

In high school I was upset because my hair wouldn’t behave, and it was taking me forever to get ready to go out with my best friend.  I said “I look terrible” and she said “No, you look pretty.  And and don’t take this the wrong way, but not everyone is going to be thinking about you.”  On the surface it could have been a catty remark, but I knew it wasn’t.  She was my best friend and I trusted her word.  It was the wakeup call I needed.  I was putting a lot of pressure on myself which was causing me to be in my head and not out living.

When we let perfectionism and fear of failure get in our way – whoa, it is a recipe for inertia and disaster.  I think what happens to a lot of people is we get caught up in the absolute end result and what we actually want and how we want it, instead of the journey of it and the delightful unexpected experiences we get to have along the way.  I live by the saying “There Are No Mistakes” and that in every moment there is an opportunity to have a breakthrough and to grow and live my life in such vibrancy and joy.  There is such possibility in everything we do, imagine what would happen for us if we just let go of our fear.

Here are several tips for you:

  • Be your best supporter!  When you think highly and positively of yourself, then you feel great inside and you have the courage and confidence to undertake anything you want.
  • Trying trumps inaction every time.  Break things down to small tasks.  Taking one small step, no matter what it is, will be the start of something great.  Getting caught up in thinking it’s going to be such a big task will keep you in inertia every time.
  • There are no mistakes.  Look at things that happen in your life as experiences and ways to learn and grow and live.  To live vibrant and joyfully means to do, be, have.  You must do things to have experiences and you must be in order to do.

How can you support yourself?  How can you begin to take small action steps?  Where will your learnings come from?  Hopefully not from others!

Please feel free to share either by sending me a personal email at kim@kimravida.com or post below here on my blog!

Filed Under: Reaching Goals, Self Worth Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Your Ticket To Having A Joyful Holiday Season

December 19, 2013 By

blowing bubblesAh, it’s the time of year that is supposed to be joyful.  Are you joyful?  If you are, please, stop reading and send me your tips.

If you aren’t, I’m going to share with you a couple ways that you can find joy.

First, decide that you want to have joy in your life.  Yes, you want this!

Next, make a list of things that make you feel joy: playing with your kids, going on a date with your spouse, spending time with your pets, being with friends, exercising, reading, going to the movies.  Write down everything that comes to mind (but wait until you’re done reading this).

This next one, my friends, is your ticket to having a joyful holiday season.  What might it be?  Take time to do those things you’ve written down! It’s really that simple!

I don’t want to hear “I don’t have the energy”.  Here’s why. Energy is elusive.  It is hard to describe, yet we feel it pretty much daily… minute to minute actually.  If your energy is low, guess what?  There isn’t a whole lot of joy happening either.  If your energy is high, however, you almost can’t help feeling joyful and having fun. Yet one feeds the other! Joy feeds your energy and energy feeds your joy.  So if you take time to do those things that bring you joy, the energy will come to you.

Remembering this can lead you into January feeling fresh, energized and happy.

I try to live my life with joy in it every day.  Now that is not to say I’m happy every second of every day – but I try to see the joy in things.  The small and the large.  It makes my life rewarding and fulfilling.

I’m willing to be truthful with you; it wasn’t always this way – I was an outward optimist but an inward pessimist.  I was so darn hard on myself… I was a joy-sucker!  (If you have never heard that term before, I’ll be writing about that more soon.)  Anyway, I couldn’t find joy in anything because there was always more to do and have and be.  Boo-hoo.

Things didn’t change until I realized that my negative energy of being the joy-sucker was the cause.  Once I started to raise my energy (simply seeing the small things that brought me joy), I had more peace of mind, success and yes, joy!  And that to me translates into a whole lot of fun!

So stop what you are doing, get out a pen and paper (or slide our your keyboard) and write down the things that make your life joyful, make you smile and make you feel amazing – those are what will lift your energy and bring you what you want!

Filed Under: Personal Development, Self Worth Tagged With: , , ,