You Hereby Have Permission to Stop

Is there something that you have been meaning to get to but just haven’t gotten to it yet?  Give yourself permission to let it go.  If you really were meant to do it, you would have and if it is still meant to happen, it will without you having to stress over it.

Many of my clients and colleagues — and me, too — put and keep way too much on our list of things to do.  Then for some reason we feel that we absolutely, without a doubt, have to do them all.  We feel if we don’t do what we either said we would do or planned to do that we’ll let someone down, let ourselves down or be viewed as a slacker.  But the truth is that often things on our list can and need to be deleted.

Of course, if there are things on there that you really need to do — like make the yearly vet appointment for the dogs or return a borrowed book to a friend — then by all means, keep them on the list.  However, if you continually are not getting to certain items, you need to implement a different strategy so that you do actually complete what really needs to be done.

It’s a great idea to know exactly what it is you want to get done and why.  The why is the reward and usually a good motivator even if the steps themselves are not. If you suddenly realize that something isn’t going to move you forward, maybe you don’t really need to do it after all.

On the other hand, oftentimes we can’t go forward because we don’t know what the next step entails.  If you don’t know what steps you need to take to get something done, figure that out first.  Productivity often follows clarity. A perfect example of this is the speech I recently gave to a women’s networking group. “Prepare for speech” didn’t give me a lot of clarity as to what steps I need to take in order to be prepared. Once I sat down and thought about it, I realized I needed to come up with a topic, create an outline, come up with content and samples, and have handouts (among other things). Knowing all these components made it much easier to move forward!

Below are some ideas to help you get on your way to “getting to done”:

  • Work with a coach for brainstorming and to keep you accountable for both personal and professional tasks.
  • Enlist the help of a friend or colleague you can talk to and check in with so that you stay on target.
  • Find a weekly accountability partner where you hold each other to what you said you would do.

And on the flip side, below are some ideas to get you on the way to letting things on your list go:

  • Delete it
  • Trash it

Yes, that is correct – you hereby have permission to stop.  Let’s face it, if you really wanted to do them, you would have.  Why stay in that defeated, bad-feeling space when you can put yourself in an uplifted, feel-good space?  Go on, try it and let me know what happens!

I can’t wait to hear what you have to say below!

To Leap, You Need to Let

When you read my title, just what does that mean to you?  I’ll share with you what it means to me.  It means that in order for me to leap to what I want, I need to let go, let it happen, let myself be open and receptive, let things be, let myself be who I am, let people be who they are (without me trying to change them), let the negative thoughts go, and let in the positive thoughts.

I love words and looking up the definition even if I already know what it is.  Here is a definition for let:  not prevent something.  I also love the thesaurus and use it often.  Here are a few other words for let that might resonate with you: allow, give permission, agree to, and consent to.  So now knowing the definition and some other words for it, does it mean something different or new to you?

Where are you not letting yourself do something?  Where are you not allowing yourself to shine?  Where are you holding yourself back by not giving yourself permission, agreeing to step forward, or allowing yourself to leap?

Is it in a relationship that you no longer want?  Is it in a crummy job that is no longer fulfilling and has been making you unhappy for longer than you care to admit?  Is there a new career direction you really want to take? Do you feel that you don’t deserve better or don’t really “need” it?

I’ll admit it, as much as I hate to, for many years I didn’t allow myself to shine at all!  I stayed in a job that I had outgrown, where I didn’t feel appreciated and where I was miserable every day of my life.  I was afraid.  What else would I do?  Where else would I work?  Would anyone think I was valuable?  There were so many questions and fears that just didn’t let me do any leaping and held me back.  Fear is something I lived with for a long time: fear of not having money, fear of not having insurance, fear of not knowing, fear of being the new person, fear of … you name it, I’ve probably had it!

Then one day I realized that in order to get what I wanted — job satisfaction, fulfillment, a feeling of joy in my work — I had to let myself leap forward.  By letting myself, I now have a fantastic life that I only dreamed of in my past.  The best news?  I’m still leaping and allowing myself to experience new adventures, successes and happiness.

If you are ready to let and leap but are still afraid, please sign up for a complimentary consultation call with me.  Together we’ll have you leaping in no time!

Please feel free to share your thoughts, actions and successes with me below!

 

© Copyright 2012 Kim Ravida Coaching. All rights reserved. Feel free to use the material from the article in whole or in part, just makes sure you include this complete acknowledgement including the live website link and let me know where the material will appear: “Kim Ravida, owner and founder of Kim Ravida Coaching, is a Certified Professional Coach and a personal and professional motivation mentor. In essence, she motivates people to stop beating themselves up and helps them get off their butts so that they maximize their time and energy to quickly get what they want in their lives… and love their reflection! Kim produces a weekly ezine where she shares insights, inspirations, tips and ideas for setting and reaching personal and professional goals. To get more information or sign up, please go to www.kimravida.com.”