What causes you to feel stressed, overwhelmed or guilty?

So many women struggle with feeling stressed out, overwhelmed and guilty over everything they feel they have to do, but aren’t doing. And it’s not because they aren’t trying, they are, there just isn’t enough time for it all.

Many of my clients are women business owners who are taking care of their homes, families, running their businesses, and saying yes to just about every request asked of them. And not one of them have ever said “I’m so excited I have so much going on.” No, what I hear is “I’m so stressed out.” Or “I’m so overwhelmed I don’t know what to do first.” Or “I feel so guilty because I can’t seem to get things done.”

And the first thing I ask them is always this: “how do you want to feel?” Because you and I both know no one wants to feel stressed, overwhelmed or guilty. What I hear a lot of is “I’d love to feel peace of mind.” I just love that. And I also know, that they can get there. How do I know this? I’ve been in their shoes more than I’d like to admit. But admit it I will. It’s often something that helps others see that they can turn things around in their lives too.

Imagine that you can change how you feel.

Close your eyes and imagine what it would feel like if you could create the kind of life that you love, one that you can say “I’m so excited to have so much going on” and have it be amazing stuff that you truly want to have going on.

Do you have that picture? Can you see yourself in the place that you imagine? Great! Keep that in mind and take one thought that stresses, overwhelms you or makes you feel guilty and then let go of the stress, overwhelm and guilt.

Here’s how:

• Close your eyes
• Think of that one thought that stresses, overwhelms you or makes you feel guilty
• Imagine yourself in a place that feels really great to you
• Breathe in deeply
• Breathe out and say “I let go“

Notice how you feel in the moment. I bet you’ll feel better than you did before. It’s a matter of practice and remembering how you truly want to feel.

Good Vibes Only

It’s easy to keep saying “I’m so stressed”, “I’m so overwhelmed” and/or “I feel so guilty” and it takes some effort to remember to choose to take a breath and let go. However, when you think and feel good vibes you will find yourself in a better mindset more often than not!

Have you given this a try and are still struggling? Is there something that is stressing you out, overwhelming you or making you feel guilty? Schedule a private 1/1 complimentary session with me and we’ll create some good vibrations for you right away! =)

Over compromising almost always leads to you not getting what you want.

Do you pride yourself on being accommodating to others? Are you someone who will go along to get along?

Well, it could be what is keeping you from getting what you truly want. When you accommodate others over what it is you want, what actually happens is you are compromising yourself.

Now, I’m not saying a compromise isn’t a good thing. It often is a mainstay in a negotiation. Though when you compromise on many things in your life and your business just to accommodate others you will never get what you want.

Ways you may be compromising yourself.

Let’s say you have a client who is always asking for an extension of time. Your policies are that clients must complete their service by a certain date and that no additional extensions will be granted. Yet, each time this client engages your services they always ask for more time. And you say yes.

You have laid out your policies that you require a non-refundable deposit to begin working with a new client and they ask if they could roll that into their payment plan. And you say yes.

In negotiating to work with a new client you know exactly what it is you will say yes to and what will say no to and they ask for something you don’t want to do. And you say yes.

In each of these circumstances you are compromising yourself and in that vain you can never get what you want.

How to stop compromising yourself so you get what you want.

If you have kids or even a dog, if you always say yes to them when you mean no, then when you try to enforce “the no” you find it won’t work. I know, I have a Bernese Mountain Dog and as long as I do what I plan to do he’s awesome to train. The second I don’t (hey, he’s really adorable), all heck breaks loose. He’s not inclined to come when he’s called if I keep going over to get him. It’s the same with kids, they will wear you down and you’ll never be able to get what you want. Such as a well-behaved child or pet.

It’s really a mindset on your part. You have to be the one to say this is what I want and this is how I’ll get it. So when a client asks for something that you have already told them they can’t have (so to speak) and then say yes, why would they not push (I mean ask) for more?

Here are several ways to stop compromising yourself:

• Honor what it is you want. It’s perfectly ok for you to say this is what I want. You don’t even have to have any reasons and you don’t have to explain anything to anyone.
• Practice saying no. And again, you do not need to offer any explanation for your reason. Though if you feel better doing so, create several phrases that you feel comfortable saying. Read this is you would like some suggestions on how to say no.
• Listen to your intuition. When you are asked to compromise on what you already said you didn’t want (or wouldn’t do), your intuition pops up. You may feel it in your gut or a little voice will say “ya but…” listen to that.

By accommodating what you want first more often, you’ll be able to get what it is you want for yourself and your business. And just to be clear, it’s not that you’ll never compromise with others, or give in. You’ll be more in tune to how your behavior hinders what you want for yourself.

I know this can be challenging, especially if you have been compromising yourself to accommodate others. So, schedule a private 1/1 complimentary session with me and we’ll create as way for you to be able to easily honor what you want, say no and listen to your intuition.

Are you a box checker?

Meaning, are you a checklist maker and do you love checking things off?

I do! It gives me a lot of satisfaction to check something off. Kind of like a jolt of the happy drug or something. I love to make lists, agendas, and To Dos and even better I love to check things off.

If you are like me, you probably know exactly what I am talking about.

But…are you checking the right boxes?

Last last year I came to realize that while I was a rock star at checking things off my list, I wasn’t actually checking a lot of things off that really mattered.

What I mean by that is that I had loads of things on my list and got loads of things done, but not what truly would help me get to where I wanted to be.

It occurred to me that while I was checking off the boxes, I wasn’t checking the right ones off. Are you doing the same thing? And are you wondering what that means for you? It means that you won’t ever reach your goals in the ways you probably want. It means that you are wasting time, perhaps avoiding and definitely not making things count.

You are great at counting down the days and the To Dos yet not great at making the days and the To Dos count.

Ways to make your days count!

Before we talk about applications let’s take a moment to accept where we are and look to where we want to go. Let’s not beat ourselves up over lost time or any of that. We’ll start where we are and go from here.

Ready? Here we go…

• Begin with a visualization of what you want. Take a deep breath and close your eyes. Ask yourself what it is you truly want in your business and in your life?
• Jot down your vision on paper. By documenting what you want you have your end game and you can begin to break that down to actionable steps.
• Create a timeline for each goal. Some goals will be short-term goals and some will be longer-term ones.
• Determine where to start. After you have created your timeline, you will now work backward. Write down the very first step you need to do in order to make your days count.
• Draft a monthly, weekly and daily agenda. By looking at the month, week, day view you’ll know exactly what it is you need to do and by when to work on making things count.
• Get busy. It’s time to make your days count! You have your visualization in your mind and on paper along with a timeline, you know where to start and you have your list!

Make your days count.

One of the best ways to make your days count is to do a daily and weekly review. At the end of each day and each week, take a look at what you accomplished and what you need to move forward. This gives you a nice road map to be able to see where you are at a glance and it also serves as a way for you to make sure you aren’t being too quick to count things down and are really making things count. Another thing it does is to help you see all you have accomplished!

By putting these strategies into action, you’ll soon eliminate those activities that are time wasters and energy drainers in your day and make every day count!

Would you like personal help making your days count by doing the right things? I’ve helped many business owners get clarity over their days so let’s do it! Sign up for a private 1/1 complimentary session with me and you’ll be able to make every day count!

Do you hate it when you make mistakes?

You may be saying, “what kind of question is that, of course I hate it when I make mistakes.”

And you wouldn’t be the only one. As human beings we quite hate making mistakes. It makes us feel useless, stupid, maybe even unqualified. It may cause us to think others will look at us differently and that we may end up losing out on something we want because of it.

Looking at mistakes differently.

But what if I told you that your fear of making mistakes could be the one thing that is holding you back? Back from getting what it is you really want out of life, and/or business?

When we are afraid to do something, we rob ourselves of the sheer enjoyment of doing something new. Of proving to ourselves that we can do something we at first thought we couldn’t. Look, before you know how to do something, of course, it’s going to be challenging. And that’s just great. Because if it wasn’t you wouldn’t feel such joy upon doing it and even mastering it. Cool, right? You bet!

Mistakes are what make you great!

Take a moment and look back at a past mistake, one that you know lead to you triumphing in your life or your business.

As you remember that mistake, how did you feel after you overcame it? What did you learn from it? How did it change you? How has it continued to change you? See mistakes, if you can embrace them, have the power to bring you to the best version of yourself.

Ever said “I’ll never do that again”? Sure you have, who hasn’t? Well, that’s because you have learned from your mistakes. Remember Yoda’s teaching to Luke? “There is no try.” And that’s because you must do, whether imperfect or perfect. In order to get something done, you have to do it.

How will you embrace your mistakes to make yourself great?

In the event you are still a little skeptical, here are a few suggestions to consider and even try out:

• If I do this, what is the worst that can happen?
• If I do this, what will happen for me because I did it?
• Even if I do this and it’s not perfect, I am still doing it.
• There is no failure in trying, failure lies in not trying.
• What if I succeeded in ways I can’t even imagine?

Can you see how there truly is never any mistakes or even failure? And that your fear is really just holding you back from all the greatness you desire?

So tell me, how will you embrace your mistakes to make yourself great? I would love you to share that with me. Simply post below and if you’d rather share privately, my email is kim@kimravida.com. Here is to your mistakes making your great!

Still struggling with this concept? Did it hit a nerve? Would you like to break through what is holding you back? Let’s do it! Sign up for a private 1/1 complimentary session with me and you’ll walk away with the one thing you need to have the success you want!