Why time is not on your side.

January 8, 2020 By

Time is not on your side, and it can be!

Do you ever wonder why time isn’t on your side and it feels like it gets away from you?

Have you looked at the time and thought “gee, I thought I had more time” or “where did the time go?

There are a lot of reasons for this. One that I wanted to talk about today is that things often take way more time than you think they will.

Something you think will take you five minutes actually takes you three times that amount. And that means the other things you planned on doing, can’t be done.

Lost time is never found again. – Benjamin Franklin
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Getting things done, actually takes longer than you plan.

Recently I was registering for CPR training on the American Red Cross site. I thought it would take me five minutes, it took me 20 minutes to complete.

I was so surprised at how long it took after I completed my task I went back and documented the exact steps I took in order to see why it took that long.

It took me about 21 steps to actually complete registering.

In a nutshell, the website is not set up to retrieve data effectively. It took me several narrowed searches to finally find what I wanted.

I could not check out easily. Because I had an account I had to log in. To which, it told me my password was incorrect and I needed to reset it. That took longer than expected and I had to open my email to retrieve that data.

Thankfully though the site did hold the info I had filled in when I began this journey – yes it has been a journey. 

I began this adventure at 12:55 and I finally ended it at 1:15. Really? 20 minutes?

It took a lot of steps, some that I thought were annoyingly long. It’s definitely not the three licks to the Tootsie Pop!

And so this is one of the reasons that time is not on your side.

When planning, make sure to add two to three times the amount you think it should take.

And because things always take longer, this is why we feel we never have enough time.

If we keep in mind that things will take longer than we:

  1. believe it will take
  2. think it will take and
  3. want it to take

We’ll be getting things done in the appropriate time frame and keeping ourselves out of frustration and overwhelm.

One of my early mentors used to tell me to not only double the time you think it will take, but triple it.

I was completely freaked out when she told me that. YET, she is so right. When you do, you have allocated the right time to get the work accomplished and you don’t have to freak out because “oh no I’m running out time” – it just doesn’t happen and often what will happen is
that you’ll very happily have more time on your hands and isn’t that a wonderful thing?!

I think so.

If you struggle with losing time, I’m happy to help.

I offer a free 30 minute Design Your Success with Purpose session. I work with business owners to elevate themselves in order to excel at organizing their thoughts, to-dos and things to accomplish what they set out to do with great confidence and competence. In this session, you’ll get clear on all that you are doing and allocate your time appropriately so that you never feel that times gets away from you again. Schedule your free 30 minute session now. 

 

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It’s time to do a year-end review.

December 11, 2019 By

Your year-end review serves a valuable purpose.

As someone who wishes to succeed, it’s important for you to do a year-end review. It serves a valuable purpose.

It’s so easy to not see the forest through the trees and just keep plugging along, thinking you are moving forward and headed in the right direction, but…are you?

How often do you take the time to look back over time to see your successes and your not so successes?

  1. Always
  2. Sometimes
  3. Never

If you answered C, you are not the only one. My clients have told me that they never do it for various reasons. They don’t have the time, they haven’t really done anything yet, and many more.

Of course, you know when they tell me that it’s the very next thing we end up doing.

Once they do a year-end review, what do you think they discover? YES! They discover that whatever reason (ahem, excuse) they have told me why they haven’t done it was because they were afraid that they didn’t have any successes and didn’t want to look at their “failures”.

We all have successes.

No matter what, you have had successes along the way. Since it’s the end of the year, it’s a great time for you to take 15 minutes (see, not long =) and list out your successes.

List out big and small. They ALL matter.

My last blog was questioning whether it was confidence or competence to succeed in your life and in your business. Read it here.

It’s both actually but how do you know you are confident or have competence?

You pay attention to your successes. You have more of them than you know.  And you pay attention to your failures.

“It is not uncommon for people to spend their whole life waiting to start living.”Eckhart Tolle
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Failure only means you took action.

A failure isn’t something to be swept under the carpet. Just like your successes, failures give you information. 

Let’s say you wanted to land a new client. The client chose another person to work with. You can certainly ask the client and gather feedback, but if you think of failure as bad, you probably won’t.

Knowing how and what to improve in your business is paramount to success.

My suggestion to you is to look at failure as a means to growing and reaching the successes you want.

You can’t move forward if you don’t get out there and if you don’t get out there you can’t have any results. Reframe how you look at “failure” as you are taking action and moving your business (and yourself) forward.

View your results impartially.

When you look at your results, it’s easy to first feel good about those you like and bad about those you don’t like.

Look at both the good and the bad as a way to help you improve. By doing this you are better able to lay out your plan for the future.

As the end of the year approaches, as a business owner, it’s important to know where you are going next. To plan for the new year and more specifically to plan quarterly.

All of your results over the past year will give you guidance and inside knowledge to formulate a clear picture for what is next to come.

When you are attached to the results, you are back to not being able to see the forest through the trees. Give yourself a head start. Imagine you are looking at someone else’s business and be impartial with what you see. Not good nor bad, just information for the future.

Celebrate your successes.

Of course you want to celebrate those successes you’ve had! Why not. That’s am important part too. To say “YES! I did this and I’m so excited for myself.”

You’d celebrate someone else, why not yourself?

In fact, do that right now, what is one success you are really happy about (business or personal) that you want to share? Go ahead and comment or send me a private email at kim@kimravida.com and tell me what it is.

I’m excited to hear about it. And I’ll go first so you don’t feel funny doing it. One of my successes in business is that I let go of a lot of old training materials from coaching programs I took as professional development and helping me get started in business.

It was hard, because well, you know, “what if I needed those.” Yet, I’ve not ever looked back at them. Not only did it help me clear space in my office but it gave me even more confidence that I had the competence to do what I love to do, coach my amazing clients to reach their successes and work through anything they view as failures.

So what is the success that you want to share?

And of course, if you want help with your year-end review let me know.

I offer a free 30 minute Design Your Success with Purpose session. I work with business owners to elevate themselves in order to excel at organizing their thoughts, to-dos and things to accomplish what they set out to do with great confidence and competence. We can use that time to help you get clear on your successes, not so successes and how to use them to get a head start for next year’s successes. Schedule your free 30 minute session now. 

 

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Which Do You Need More Of Confidence Or Competence?

November 28, 2019 By

Confidence and Competence go hand in hand.

Have you ever felt that in order for you to succeed in your life and in your business all you needed was to feel confident?

I have. And so have many of my clients.

Yet, for myself and my clients, often what we needed in addition to confidence was competence.

Confidence is definitely a skill you can learn to excel at. And so is competence.

Having confidence is a feeling or a belief that you can rely on and trust yourself or someone/something else.

Competence means having the ability to do something successfully or efficiently.

Why it’s important to have both confidence and competence.

Being a small business owner in any way, shape or form is challenging. There are lots of moving pieces and lots of things to consider.

There is a saying “you don’t know what you don’t know.” Sometimes you can have confidence doing something because you don’t know all that could go wrong with it.

And sometimes you can have competence because you know what will go wrong and can put the necessary pieces in place to successfully reach your end result.

It’s important to have both. They go hand in hand. Confidence and competence are best friends. And we need them both because in being, doing and having what we want we always have to take an action.

You must have confidence in your competence. Elijah Cummings
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Getting to where we want to go.

In business and in life we are constantly doing things to get to where we want to be. Sometimes we are also not doing things (but that’s still doing an action).

When my clients come to a session telling me that they “just need to be more confident” my first question is: more confident about what?

This is where they usually say something about being a better networker or closing more sales or writing copy. They may also say being more assertive, standing up for themselves, or saying no.

Can you see that the first examples are connected to having to do something? And the second are connected to being a certain way?

Do you see that in both instances you can learn to do and be what it is that is wanted?

What about the correlation between confidence and competence. Technically, in both you need competence first and then confidence. That said, for being a better networker you can attain skills that will help you. Having those skills will lead to you “do networking” better and “be confident” because you now know what to do and will feel good about it.

And that more than likely will lead to you actually doing it rather than procrastinating.

In the being more assertive, you still need skills and once you have those, you’ll feel more confident.

I argue that while they do both go hand in hand, that it’s actually competence that is the leader because when you know how to do something, confidence follows.

Do you agree? I’d love to hear your side of this in the comments below. It’s an important topic for business owners, especially women business owners.

Want help with your own confidence and competence?

I offer a free 30 minute Design Your Success with Purpose session. I work with business owners to elevate themselves in order to excel at organizing their thoughts, to-dos and things to accomplish what they set out to do with great confidence and competence. Take a moment to schedule your free 30 minute session now. You’ll walk away with specific ways to increase your confidence and competence immediately.

 

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Do you have the courage to reach your destination?

November 13, 2019 By

It takes courage to reach your destination. 

In order for you to reach your destination, you must have courage.

All the planning and list making does you no good if you aren’t able to take the steps you need to reach your destination.

All the planning, the list making and wishing will get you so far. You must have the courage to actually take the action steps that come out of the planning and list making in order to reach your destination.

Are you willing to take a big breath, stand up straight and do what you need to in spite of any fears you may have?

It’s the difference between being a victim and being a victor.
 

“All you need is the plan, the road map, and the courage to press on to your destination.” –Earl Nightingale
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Are you being a victim or a victor?

I love Earl Nightingale’s quote. It really helps you to remember that it’s not all about the doing, it’s about the being.

How do you know if you are being a victim? One of the tell tale signs is when things are happening around you that you don’t like. It means that you are being at the effect of your life. 

You want to be at the cause of things.

It’s the cause and effect rule. You are either at the cause of things in your life and in your business or you are at the effect. And nothing good ever happens being at the effect of things.

When you notice that you aren’t at the cause of your life, you have slipped into victim mode. The best way to get out of that and shift into being in victor mode is to pause, look around and ask yourself “what’s one thing that I can do right now that will move me from here to there (where you want to go)?”

Then do it.

Sometimes things get in the way.

We all get caught up in being at the effect of things in our lives and our businesses. I’ve been known to jump into the deep end when it comes to personal matters. We are human, it happens.

I work with some great clients who are creating a life that matters and they too get caught up in the effect of things in their life and business.

Lots of times what they find is that there is too much going on, they have too much around them and they aren’t clear. So their boundaries get squashed because they aren’t being intentional.

When it happens, it may sound odd, but the best thing to do is not try to “fix” the issue. It’s to take a step back. Get things in order, get rid of unwanted thoughts, to-dos and things so that you have space around you.

 

Having space equals having clarity.

Have you ever worn a pair of pants that were so tight when you took them off you thought and felt “ahhhhh, I’m so glad to take those off”? And hopefully you realized that those pants were not ones you should continue to wear and you donated them.

That’s what it can be like when you have lots of thoughts, to-dos and things in your world. 

It’s hard to breathe, think and be. In order for you to be able to cause changes, cause success and cause your life to be what you want it to be, you need to be clear what that is.

You need to design the road map for you to take. It’s up to you to get in the car, put your foot on the gas and go. And it’s up to you to remember to put the brake on from time to time as well.

Want help?

I offer a free 30 minute Design Your Success with Purpose session. I work with business owners to organize their thoughts, to-dos and things so that they accomplish what they set out to do. Which is to create a successful business for them to live a rich life.  If you would like help with designing your own road map schedule your free 30 minute session now. You’ll walk away with a clear eye on you being at the cause of your own success!

 

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How to be a high performance producer

October 23, 2019 By

High performance producers get things done.

When you think of someone who is a high performance producer what do you think of?

Do you think of a movie producer? Someone who produces performances?Or do you think of a person who gets a lot done, reaches their goals and is basking in success?

I hope you thought of the latter.

As a business owner, your goal is to be a high performance producer. As in being uber productive, knocking your actions out of the park toward your continued success.

Success is not an end all, be all. It is ever evolving.

I’ve worked with business owners who define success as when they reach a certain number of clients, or make a certain amount of money.

These are not bad goals. They are actually really good goals. Because they always put a specific number on their goals and a timeline to reach them.

So, yes, in essence, they are successful.

But a high performance producer is someone who doesn’t end when they reach their goals. 

They are constantly evolving both personally and professionally. They define business success as the ability to keep the needle moving forward, to keep elevating themselves to excel. To get to the next level and keep going.

Notice that last sentence. It’s to keep going, not to stay there.

“If you do what you always did, you will get what you always got.” –Anonymous
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Steps to becoming a high performance producer.

In order to keep yourself excelling in your life and your business. You need to keep going.

To do that you have to have your plans laid out before you. The vision, actions and timeline for where you are and where you are going. 

Lots of business owners forget to think past the next week or month. To have your ongoing, evolving success you need to have a plan laid out for the short-term, mid-term and long-term.

By doing that you have the road map for what you will do and when.

Let’s take a brief look at what that looks like:

  • Do an assessment: Where are you, where do you want to go, how do you want to get there. What opportunities do you have available to you now and in the future? What obstacles do you see that may get in your way?
  • Create the vision: Knowing where you want to go, when do you see yourself getting there? What do you need to do in order to get there? Who do you have to become? What do you need to put into place? Lay everything out, all the pieces – this part may take you the longest.
  • Plan and lay it out: Start with the end in mind and back track. What do you need to do to begin to move forward? Think what comes first, second, third and so on. Create a timeline and begin working on your first piece and keep moving toward your end goal.
  • Reflect and course correct:  Build in times to review your vision and plan to see if you are on track or need to make some shifts and changes. At this point, you will go back to vision and then to plan. You also can go back and assess at any point to keep you on track.

Having a plan that is laid out cleanly and clearly helps you stay focused on your goals and enable you to become a high performance producer.

Want help?

I offer a free 30 minute Design Your Success with Purpose session. If you know a coach is what you need to help become a high performance producer, schedule your free 30 minute session now. You’ll walk away with a clear plan of action to become the high performance producer you know you truly are.

 

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Is Your Baggage From The Past Keeping You Stuck In The Present

October 9, 2019 By

Baggage from your past can keep you stuck in your present.

There are lots of ways the baggage from our past can keep us from our future. 

You probably know that. I am sure I’m not telling you anything new.

Though, did you know that it also keeps you from experiencing your present?

In our lives we are constantly striving to get somewhere. As a business owner, you are always striving to get to a new level of growth. And that is in the future.

Your past not only defines your future, but your present. And it is in the present that we design our future.

“Keeping baggage from the past will leave no room for the happiness in the future” – Wayne L. Misner
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Our present actions define our future results. 

You have probably heard the saying “what you do today, will result in who you are tomorrow.”

And what if you are carrying around the past? Is it possible for you to have the best today in order to get to tomorrow?

Or what about those days when you think or say to yourself “I’ll do that tomorrow, I don’t feel like doing that today.”

How do you think that affects your tomorrow? 

In my work as a coach, I teach a lot about clutter and how it impacts people in their personal lives and in their business lives.

I help my clients get clear on their vision so that they can create a clear path to get there. Almost always, that means getting rid of old baggage. 

In order to get to your future, your present must be clear of the past.

Clear the past to be present.

If you are stuck or finding that you aren’t getting the results you wanted or thought you would get, you need to clear the past.

Probably the easiest place to start is to take a look where you are right now. What are you doing? Are you doing what you need to do to move yourself forward?

Do you even know what you need to be doing? This is a common problem for many of the business owners I work with. They don’t even know what they need to be doing now to get to where they want to go. Calendar and schedule

Let me give you a quick example. I work with a woman who wants to start her coaching business. She keeps telling me that she has to get her website “just so” in order to do that.

Yet, she also told me that when she gets out and meets people they want to work with her. And it isn’t because she has a website that is just like she wants it.

It is because she is amazing and offers great value to those who need it.

After that, we cleared up her old thinking of she needed to have her website just so. It was a hold over mindset she had from her past that things had to be “just so” in her eyes before she could move on.

We created a vision of where she wanted to go with step-by-step action plans and a timeline for her to follow. She kept in mind when her old mindset may get in the way and committed to recognize it and let it go when it did.

In essence, she let go of that baggage. She now has a waiting list of clients that want to work with her, for her…not her website.

Be honest about what baggage is holding you back.

It is important for you to recognize your baggage. And when it holds you back.

Sometimes it’s mental baggage and sometimes it’s physical baggage. All result in clutter that keep us from being our best, doing our best and experiencing the best.

Several questions to ask yourself include:

  • Is this thought/thing helping me and how?
  • How is this thought/thing hindering me?
  • What is it I feel I need by keeping this thought/thing?
  • If I were to let this thought/thing go, how would that help me and what amazing things would I be able to do and have?

Oftentimes, you may need the help of a professional be it a therapist or a coach. 

Seeing your baggage clearly can be all you need to send it packing (yes, pun intended =).

Want help?

I offer a free 30 minute Design Your Success with Purpose session. If you know a coach is what you need to help you let some of your baggage go schedule your free 30 minute session now. You’ll walk away being in the present with an eye on your future.

 

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Things to declutter that will add more time to your day

September 25, 2019 By

Declutter before you organize.

So much has been said about organization. Yet, do you know that when you have too much stuff, it’s almost impossible to organize it.

I know that sounds odd. One thing I’ve learned from Lisa Woodruff, from Organize356.com is that we need to declutter first.

When I first listened to a podcast she did about this, I was skeptical. I have been “organizing” for years. I love it! And I also help my business clients organize for their optimal success.

As a coach, I’m always open to new thoughts, ideas and ways of doing things so while at first I wasn’t sure. But then I realized she was right.

I work with many solopreneurs and entrepreneurs who have a small team. We work on many pieces of life and business as the two go hand in hand. What comes up all the time (and I mean all the time) is the amount of clutter my clients have. Both external and internal clutter. And it needs to be dealt with before any real progress can be made. 

And it takes up so much of their time! Time they could use to increase revenues or have time to themselves.

What to declutter first.

For the sake of time, let’s take a look at a few things that if you were to declutter would save you time. And this works even if you aren’t a business owner. My clients do this for both their business and their personal lives.

There are so many things that you have that are taking up your energy, space and time. They might be different than you think, but they are not exhaustive. We’ll cover more over time but for now, let’s look at your:

  • Health.
  • Calendar and schedule. 
  • Phone apps.

Are you scratching your head thinking “ok, one of these things is not like the other.” And by that you are probably thinking, I don’t know why health is on there and at the top.

Fair enough, let’s look at each one, shall we.

Your health.

I spent many years in the fitness industry and still keep my hand it in to this day.  I can tell you how much time people spend on their health when it is poor. Not to mention, it’s costly and it deprives you from doing what it is you want both personally and professionally.

When you take the time to clean up your health, you give yourself so much energy, time and space. Here are several ways for you to declutter in the health department:

  • Stop eating processed foods and eating on the run. Redefine your eating habits. Choose healthy, for you, foods that you enjoy and have them ready especially at lunchtime so that you can easily nourish your body. By taking care of this, you’ll save time having to think about what you want, making it (or worse going to get it). My clients plan their eating weekly. They already know what it is they will eat and when they will eat for lunch (and many for dinner) prior to their work week.
  • Don’t drink excessive coffee or soft drinks. Drink lots of water instead. Yes, you probably know the benefits of drinking water and if not, here is a link for you to check out.  It will give you many reasons why water is important for our overall health as well as how much you may need to drink. One of the benefits I love is that when you drink water, you need to use the restroom.  It is a built in alarm for your body to get up and move. We so often just sit and work at our computers and movement is absolutely key to our health.
  • End being immobile. Move more throughout your day. While drinking water will force you to get up periodically. That is a great thing. Incorporating exercise into your life will give you many amazing benefits which you can read about here.

When you declutter unhealthy habits and start taking care of your health you will feel better. You’ll have more energy and be in an optimal frame of mind making getting things done easier and perhaps faster so you’ll save time.

You’ll find that it is easier to organize your health once you let go of the unhealthy habits and begin new ones. You will find that they fit nicely into your day and on top of that you’ll love your results.

Calendar and schedule.

Got too much to do? Racing around networking or going to meetings? What about feeling as if you have no time to do what you need to in your business and in your life?

The next segment to declutter before you can organize is your calendar and schedule.

When I work with my clients we take more time than you think to look at this area of their world. So many people try to fit themselves into a system that someone else designed and truly, it doesn’t always work.

I know, I still do it sometimes. So we are organizing our time (which we barely have enough of because we have too much clutter) around someone else’s idea of how we should “manage our time” and are frustrated that it isn’t working.

Where are you spending your time and is it the best use of your time? Are you feeling that what you are doing is a good use of your time and are you getting the results you want because of it?

If we worked together I’d ask you those questions and more so you can have a clear picture of your time.

Usually what happens is you begin to see that things on your calendar and in your schedule don’t need to be there, you don’t even want to do them in the first place but maybe are afraid to let them go. Or you don’t even know why they are there in the first place. 

Declutter your calendar and schedule and you’ll be able to organize the things you do want and need to do so you do them in less time. Again, when you do this, you save time. All good right?

Phone apps.

This one is loaded, the reaction my clients have when we talk about this area is pretty interesting.

They all (and I mean all, no one has easily said “yes, let’s delete this”) want to keep every single app on their phone!

Why? I always ask. 

Because I…(wait for it…) might need it someday.

And that’s the crux of clutter, having things we don’t use now but might need someday.

The funny thing is, we can delete them from our phones and put them back if we ever want to again. Though, truth be told, I do a follow up with my clients a month or so after they declutter their apps and no one has wanted to put an app back. In fact, when I ask them what the apps were they wanted to keep (actually fought with me to keep them), no one can tell me what they were. Telling, yes? YES!

When you declutter this area, you free up space on your phone (inside and out). You have a clearer view of what you have and can easily access and your brain relaxes because there isn’t so much “stuff” clouding the picture (so to speak). You can now easily organize the apps you use and love and have ready for you when you want them. And of course you…drum roll…save time!

There you have it. Yes, there are many more areas and we’ll talk about them in future articles but for now, commit to decluttering these three areas and start noticing how much time you have, how better you feel and how easily you get things accomplished!

Want help?

I offer a free 30 minute Design Your Success with Purpose session. We’ll get you started on the one area you know you need to most help with.  Schedule your free 30 minute session now.  If you find you want help with more, we’ll talk about what that support looks like for you.

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Life is for living, are you living your life?

September 11, 2019 By

Urgent or Important, where do you spend your time?

Where do you spend your time? Are you doing the urgent things in your life like putting out fires and jumping up every time someone asks you for something or you hear a ding announcing a new electronic communication?

Did you answer yes? Well, then you are attending to the urgent in your world and your life should be about doing the important to you (and your family) stuff first.

If you have ever read Stephen Covey’s book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, you understand the Time Management Matrix. It will also help you see where you spend your time.

It is in the Principles of Personal Management chapter. 

If you haven’t read the book, I highly recommend it. It is both a book for your personal growth as well as your professional growth. It is full of amazing concepts, thoughts and actions for you to try out.

What you do each day makes up your results so if you are running around putting out fires (and you aren’t a firefighter), it’s time to rethink what you are putting your attention on.

You actions and behaviors create your life, are you living the life you want?

How to make an impact on your life.

If I have a dollar for every time a client told me that they “had” to do something because someone else wanted it or thought that they should do something, I’d be rich.

In order for you to make an impact on your life, you need to impact your life and spent your time on you.

What do I mean by that? If you are always running around in the urgent section of your life, listening to and doing for other people how does that help you create a life for yourself?

How are you able to do the things you want? Or how are you able to take care of your wants and needs so that you are happy?

It doesn’t. Recently I read a blog and the writer said she wanted to “change her narrative” of her life.

She realized she had been living according to what she thought others wanted from her rather than what she wanted for herself.

In order to make an impact on your life, you need to take action that leads you toward your dreams, wants and goals. Yes, even if that means disappointing someone or having them be mad at you.

Are you living your life in a way you love?

I know, that’s a pretty big question isn’t it?

So…what is your answer? A long while ago my answer would have been no. It was actually a question a coach of mine asked me. And when I said no, she asked “why not?”

I had lots of answers, many of them focused on the external. Here are a few (maybe you recognize one or a few):

  • Everyone else expects me to do things a certain way.
  • My family will think I’m crazy (if I did what I wanted which was quit my corporate job and go to coach school and open a business).
  • There is too much to do and I don’t have time.
  • My credit cards are too high right now and I don’t have enough money.

She simply asked me “if these reasons were no longer true, and you did what you really wanted, would you be living a life you loved?”

I answered YES.

“Don’t give up trying to do what you really want to do.” —Ella Fitzgerald
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Let’s live a life we love, shall we?

And that started my journey of eliminating a lot of my internal feelings (my so-called external reasons were really internal feelings) and external items. It also helped me see where I spent me time.

After I cleared all of that clutter I had space to breathe, to see things clearly and take time to begin to lay out my plan to live a life I loved.

Where are you so busy with the urgent that you forget about the important? What about letting each day go by and settling for a just so life?

For today, let go of one thought, feeling, emotion or physical item that just does not give you a great feeling (forget the spark joy for now, let’s focus on the things you really don’t like or want).

Then, tell me, just comment or email me privately at kim@kimravida.com, what is one thing that you want to do, but maybe are hesitant, that if you did it, you’d start to live a life you love?

And tell me also, when you will actually do that one thing. It’s the best way for you to know where you spend you time.

And heck, I know this is simple but simple doesn’t always mean easy. So my gift to you is to spend 30 minutes with me to get started. If you want more after that, perhaps we’ll work together. But say yes to putting things in place for you to live a life you love.

Schedule a free Design Your Success with Purpose free session with me. Schedule your free 30 minute session now.  When you take advantage of my free gift to you, you help me live a life I love!

 

Filed Under: Clutter, Empowerment, Environment, Reaching Goals, Self Worth Tagged With: , , , ,

How Your Negative Experiences Can Work For You

August 28, 2019 By

Negative experiences lead to your greatness.

What if you were to take a moment and thank the people in your life that have upset you?

Hold on, I can hear you screaming (uh, saying) “What? Are you crazy, why would I want to do that?”

My question to you is why wouldn’t you want to thank someone who perhaps challenged or pushed you outside your comfort zone?

In your life you probably have many people who have supported or challenged you in a positive way.

And you probably have some that have pushed you in ways that you might not have felt or feel were/are positive.

All of your negative experiences have helped you to become the person you are today.⁠

True, there are many people we are happy to have in our lives, and there are those we never want to see again. ⁠

And the truth is that every single one of those people should be thanked. You are who you are because of them. ⁠

Yes, even those you don’t ever care to see again. Think of a past experience that you have negative thoughts or feelings around.

Now, look at the present, what did you learn from that experience? Was it to not be pushed around so you drew some boundaries? Did you see how it shaped a new empowering behavior? What was it that you got from that experience.

You are who you are because of all your experiences positive and negative. Learning from the positive doesn’t always give you the magic to boldly step into who you are meant to be.

Recognize that negative experiences help you grow as a person. Negative experiences actually become positive ones when you learn from them.

Learning from your negative experiences.

In junior high I had a typing teacher, Mrs. Caldwell. She was tough and demanded a lot. I did not like her one bit at first.

Well, do you know what? In the end (three years), she was one of my favorite teachers. And I realized how much I learned from her.

This was important since my first career was a legal secretary. And my equipment to work on was an electronic memory typewriter! 

Because of Mrs. Caldwell, I excelled in typing and in life. Fast forward to 2019 and all we do is type! Because of her I was able to type 120 wpm (words per minute).

Had I not realized how that initial negative experience helped me become who I am today, I might never have become a legal secretary which lead me to working with the executive coach which lead me to becoming a coach.

When we shift our perception, our experience changes. Lindsay Wagner
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How to learn from your negative experiences.

One of my clients was finding she couldn’t get out of overwhelm with all she had on her plate.

She wanted to know why when she cleaned and organized her office it was almost exactly in the same state two weeks later, which was a mess.

During one coaching session she burst into tears. She said she was a mess and so was everything else around her. In corporate she had a boss who told her a neat desk was the sign of someone who didn’t have enough to do.

Interestingly, she did not much like said boss and felt a lot of animosity toward him before this comment. You can imagine how she felt after it.

Huh? At the time, she had taken great pride in keeping her work space (and home) neat and optimally set up for her to work efficiently.

Ask yourself, what negative experience am I currently holding onto that, if I recognized what I learned from it would enable me to reach the successes I want.

And from now on, when you have an experience that feels negative to you, ask yourself immediately “what can I learn from this?”

Do you need to clear some clutter, physical or mental? Would you like help getting clear on how you can use your negative experiences to your advantage? If yes, schedule a free Design Your Success with Purpose free session with me. Schedule your free 30 minute session now.  You’ll walk away with at least one (if not more) things that you can start doing now will lead you to create exceptional success in your life.

 

Filed Under: Clutter, Empowerment, Environment, Reaching Goals, Self Worth Tagged With: , , , ,

It’s important to put your peace of mind first

August 14, 2019 By

Put yourself first.

The reason to put yourself first in your life is because being the best for others begins with being the best for and to yourself.

When you fly what do the the flight attendants tell you on every flight? Put the oxygen mask on yourself first, then help others.

It’s the same in our own lives, but do we do it?

Not all of the time, and for some, never. Believe it or not, I had a male client who struggled with putting himself first. He gave of himself to his work and to his family. When he came to work with me, he wanted to start doing things that would make him happy.

He told me it was a long time since he had been happy and liked his life.

You could say he was successful in many areas of his life. My client had a wife and two teenage children, took care of his ailing and aging father,  his sisters and his extended family. And as a successful building engineer, was well-liked at work.

Recognizing that all of his time was spent on taking care of other people, he felt a lot of anger about it and toward them. Because it didn’t leave him any time to take care of himself or do something that he wanted to do.

Your emotions tell the truth.

The feeling of anger that he had was a key piece. The anger was the catalyst for his change. It helped him to decide it was important to put his own peace of mind first.

He realized that in order to be able to take care of those he loved, being angry about it or angry at them was not going to get anyone anywhere.

It’s true for all of us. In order for you to be the best of yourself, you need to take the time to take care of yourself.

And just how do you do that?

How to be the best of yourself.

Trust me, this eluded me for a long time. Anytime someone in my life asked me to do something be it going to a social event, help them move, watch their pet or children, help them with a work project or whatever need they had, I said YES, BUT OF COURSE.

I’d even ask if they needed help if I even thought they might need my help. Talk about putting yourself last.

I soon realized that there were things I said yes to that I realized “no, I do not want to do that” and felt angry. Think back to my client. These feelings of anger did not serve myself nor the person I had said yes to.

So I decided that for a little while, I would say no. In order for me to be the best of myself, I needed to take care of myself. For me that meant not doing for others before I did for myself.

I discovered that it was not hard to say no. And I discovered that when I did, I gave myself time and space in my own life to be my best self.

What saying yes to you does.

When you say yes to you, you give yourself time and space. It’s like clutter clearing. You have room in your physical life and in your head to do what would help you live the life you want to live.

And you get to say yes to others when it is appropriate to say yes. You say it from a place of love and caring.

When my client got to this place, he saw some pretty cool things happen in his life.

His family began to ask him what they could do for him. Because he had let go of the anger, they found him to be more approachable and loving.

Interesting right? They had been keeping him at a distance because they could tell he was angry. And when they needed him, he lovingly said yes and would do for them in a caring way.

“All progress takes place outside the comfort zone.” — Michael John Bobak
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Your peace of mind creates ripple effects.

My client ended up getting a promotion at work, started taking ballroom dance classes and even ended up entering dance competitions. He said he finally felt like he was living his life rather than giving his life to everyone else.

And the best part of my client recognizing and taking steps to put his peace of mind first was that everyone around him was happy just because he was happy.

How’s that for creating a powerfully happy life? By making one change he created a ripple effect for all of those around him.

He was willing to do what it took to get what he wanted. Truth be told, there were some things he wasn’t fully on board with when we worked together yet he was open to giving them a try.

He found out that those are the things that made the biggest difference for him in his results.

Moving outside your comfort zone.

Sometimes we need to let go of (or as I like to say it, clear the clutter of our minds) thoughts that have been keeping us from moving forward and think and do things that are a little different or outside our comfort zone.

Because, all of what we want is always outside our comfort zones.

Do you need to clear some clutter, physical or mental? Schedule a free Time & Space Assessment with me. Schedule your free 30 minute session now.  You’ll walk away with at least one (if not more) things that you can start doing now that will create your own ripple effect for your life.

 

Filed Under: Clutter, Empowerment, Environment, Reaching Goals, Self Worth Tagged With: , , , ,
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