I’m cracking myself up here – when this title came to me, I thought “I must write about it!” But wondered will anyone even know what I’m talking about? And if not, will they be curious enough to read to find out? I guess we’ll see!

So here you are reading this. Let me guess, you either are a Money Martyr or you said “What the heck is this? Maybe I am and maybe I’m not, but I’m going to find out.” So let’s begin.

What is a martyr? For those of you who have no idea, for our purposes here it is defined as a sufferer for a cause and a willing victim.

So how does that relate to money? Well, are you settling with making less money than you want or you need to live on? Are you self-employed and are reluctant to raise your fees? Are you employed and afraid to ask for a raise or go for a promotion? That means you are a willing victim, and I guess it could be defined as a sufferer for a cause.

What cause you might ask? Well, the cause of not wanting to rock the boat, or for fear of speaking up for yourself. You are afraid someone will say no, so you don’t ask.

Another example is if you never stand up for yourself when someone wants to negotiate your rates. You almost always say “Oh, okay” because you don’t want to lose out on them as a client or income. Yet, you aren’t actually getting the work you really want or the money you really want and/or need when you do that. Also you might always just say ‘yes’ because there is money involved, but not take a look to see if you are being paid what you need to make. You sell yourself out. It’s not exactly the most powerful place you put yourself in!

If you give your services and/or products away for less than what they should be sold for because you think that your clients can’t pay… you are suffering for someone else’s cause. Maybe you do a lot of pro bono work because the ‘cause’ — and in this case we mean ‘cause’ literally — is a worthy cause doing good work. One client I worked with spent so much time working for a non-profit free of charge that she didn’t have time to bring in her own new business!

A Money Martyr is someone who puts themselves last at the expense of someone or something else. And then what do you get? You certainly aren’t making the money you want, and then you get a whole lot of resentment and bad feelings about the other person and even about yourself (which in case you are wondering, can be even more detrimental to your welfare).

So you are sacrificing yourself and your earning potential for a cause? Here is an insight to try on; you can still be a part of the cause and not be the sufferer of the cause yourself.

How do you avoid being a Money Martyr?

Identify where you might be suffering for a cause or a willing victim. Determine why you are putting yourself in that position. A lot of times, there is fear involved or even feelings of self-worth. We don’t think we are worth what we are asking for so we undermine ourselves and give in. We accept less than what we want and a need to live on. Then we end up working more and feeling burnt out, stressed out and angry.

Take steps to work on your ‘why’. Get help, ask a trusted friend for assistance, hire a coach or even seek therapy. By honoring yourself and your needs, and learning to value yourself, you will no longer be a Money Martyr — or any kind of martyr for that matter — because how you do money is usually how you do everything!