Urgent or Important, where do you spend your time?

Where do you spend your time? Are you doing the urgent things in your life like putting out fires and jumping up every time someone asks you for something or you hear a ding announcing a new electronic communication?

Did you answer yes? Well, then you are attending to the urgent in your world and your life should be about doing the important to you (and your family) stuff first.

If you have ever read Stephen Covey’s book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, you understand the Time Management Matrix. It will also help you see where you spend your time.

It is in the Principles of Personal Management chapter. 

If you haven’t read the book, I highly recommend it. It is both a book for your personal growth as well as your professional growth. It is full of amazing concepts, thoughts and actions for you to try out.

What you do each day makes up your results so if you are running around putting out fires (and you aren’t a firefighter), it’s time to rethink what you are putting your attention on.

You actions and behaviors create your life, are you living the life you want?

How to make an impact on your life.

If I have a dollar for every time a client told me that they “had” to do something because someone else wanted it or thought that they should do something, I’d be rich.

In order for you to make an impact on your life, you need to impact your life and spent your time on you.

What do I mean by that? If you are always running around in the urgent section of your life, listening to and doing for other people how does that help you create a life for yourself?

How are you able to do the things you want? Or how are you able to take care of your wants and needs so that you are happy?

It doesn’t. Recently I read a blog and the writer said she wanted to “change her narrative” of her life.

She realized she had been living according to what she thought others wanted from her rather than what she wanted for herself.

In order to make an impact on your life, you need to take action that leads you toward your dreams, wants and goals. Yes, even if that means disappointing someone or having them be mad at you.

Are you living your life in a way you love?

I know, that’s a pretty big question isn’t it?

So…what is your answer? A long while ago my answer would have been no. It was actually a question a coach of mine asked me. And when I said no, she asked “why not?”

I had lots of answers, many of them focused on the external. Here are a few (maybe you recognize one or a few):

• Everyone else expects me to do things a certain way.
• My family will think I’m crazy (if I did what I wanted which was quit my corporate job and go to coach school and open a business).
• There is too much to do and I don’t have time.
• My credit cards are too high right now and I don’t have enough money.

She simply asked me “if these reasons were no longer true, and you did what you really wanted, would you be living a life you loved?”

I answered YES.

Let’s live a life we love, shall we?

And that started my journey of eliminating a lot of my internal feelings (my so-called external reasons were really internal feelings) and external items. It also helped me see where I spent me time.

After I cleared all of that clutter I had space to breathe, to see things clearly and take time to begin to lay out my plan to live a life I loved.

Where are you so busy with the urgent that you forget about the important? What about letting each day go by and settling for a just so life?

For today, let go of one thought, feeling, emotion or physical item that just does not give you a great feeling (forget the spark joy for now, let’s focus on the things you really don’t like or want).

Then, tell me, just comment or email me privately at kim@kimravida.com, what is one thing that you want to do, but maybe are hesitant, that if you did it, you’d start to live a life you love?

And tell me also, when you will actually do that one thing. It’s the best way for you to know where you spend you time.

And heck, I know this is simple but simple doesn’t always mean easy. So my gift to you is to spend 30 minutes with me to get started. If you want more after that, perhaps we’ll work together. But say yes to putting things in place for you to live a life you love.

Schedule a free Design Your Success with Purpose free session with me. Schedule your free 30 minute session now.  When you take advantage of my free gift to you, you help me live a life I love!

 

Negative experiences lead to your greatness.

What if you were to take a moment and thank the people in your life that have upset you?

Hold on, I can hear you screaming (uh, saying) “What? Are you crazy, why would I want to do that?”

My question to you is why wouldn’t you want to thank someone who perhaps challenged or pushed you outside your comfort zone?

In your life you probably have many people who have supported or challenged you in a positive way.

And you probably have some that have pushed you in ways that you might not have felt or feel were/are positive.

All of your negative experiences have helped you to become the person you are today.⁠

True, there are many people we are happy to have in our lives, and there are those we never want to see again. ⁠

And the truth is that every single one of those people should be thanked. You are who you are because of them. ⁠

Yes, even those you don’t ever care to see again. Think of a past experience that you have negative thoughts or feelings around.

Now, look at the present, what did you learn from that experience? Was it to not be pushed around so you drew some boundaries? Did you see how it shaped a new empowering behavior? What was it that you got from that experience.

You are who you are because of all your experiences positive and negative. Learning from the positive doesn’t always give you the magic to boldly step into who you are meant to be.

Recognize that negative experiences help you grow as a person. Negative experiences actually become positive ones when you learn from them.

Learning from your negative experiences.

In junior high I had a typing teacher, Mrs. Caldwell. She was tough and demanded a lot. I did not like her one bit at first.

Well, do you know what? In the end (three years), she was one of my favorite teachers. And I realized how much I learned from her.

This was important since my first career was a legal secretary. And my equipment to work on was an electronic memory typewriter! 

Because of Mrs. Caldwell, I excelled in typing and in life. Fast forward to 2019 and all we do is type! Because of her I was able to type 120 wpm (words per minute).

Had I not realized how that initial negative experience helped me become who I am today, I might never have become a legal secretary which lead me to working with the executive coach which lead me to becoming a coach.

How to learn from your negative experiences.

One of my clients was finding she couldn’t get out of overwhelm with all she had on her plate.

She wanted to know why when she cleaned and organized her office it was almost exactly in the same state two weeks later, which was a mess.

During one coaching session she burst into tears. She said she was a mess and so was everything else around her. In corporate she had a boss who told her a neat desk was the sign of someone who didn’t have enough to do.

Interestingly, she did not much like said boss and felt a lot of animosity toward him before this comment. You can imagine how she felt after it.

Huh? At the time, she had taken great pride in keeping her work space (and home) neat and optimally set up for her to work efficiently.

Ask yourself, what negative experience am I currently holding onto that, if I recognized what I learned from it would enable me to reach the successes I want.

And from now on, when you have an experience that feels negative to you, ask yourself immediately “what can I learn from this?”

Do you need to clear some clutter, physical or mental? Would you like help getting clear on how you can use your negative experiences to your advantage? If yes, schedule a free Design Your Success with Purpose free session with me. Schedule your free 30 minute session now.  You’ll walk away with at least one (if not more) things that you can start doing now will lead you to create exceptional success in your life.

 

Put yourself first.

The reason to put yourself first in your life is because being the best for others begins with being the best for and to yourself.

When you fly what do the the flight attendants tell you on every flight? Put the oxygen mask on yourself first, then help others.

It’s the same in our own lives, but do we do it?

Not all of the time, and for some, never. Believe it or not, I had a male client who struggled with putting himself first. He gave of himself to his work and to his family. When he came to work with me, he wanted to start doing things that would make him happy.

He told me it was a long time since he had been happy and liked his life.

You could say he was successful in many areas of his life. My client had a wife and two teenage children, took care of his ailing and aging father,  his sisters and his extended family. And as a successful building engineer, was well-liked at work.

Recognizing that all of his time was spent on taking care of other people, he felt a lot of anger about it and toward them. Because it didn’t leave him any time to take care of himself or do something that he wanted to do.

Your emotions tell the truth.

The feeling of anger that he had was a key piece. The anger was the catalyst for his change. It helped him to decide it was important to put his own peace of mind first.

He realized that in order to be able to take care of those he loved, being angry about it or angry at them was not going to get anyone anywhere.

It’s true for all of us. In order for you to be the best of yourself, you need to take the time to take care of yourself.

And just how do you do that?

How to be the best of yourself.

Trust me, this eluded me for a long time. Anytime someone in my life asked me to do something be it going to a social event, help them move, watch their pet or children, help them with a work project or whatever need they had, I said YES, BUT OF COURSE.

I’d even ask if they needed help if I even thought they might need my help. Talk about putting yourself last.

I soon realized that there were things I said yes to that I realized “no, I do not want to do that” and felt angry. Think back to my client. These feelings of anger did not serve myself nor the person I had said yes to.

So I decided that for a little while, I would say no. In order for me to be the best of myself, I needed to take care of myself. For me that meant not doing for others before I did for myself.

I discovered that it was not hard to say no. And I discovered that when I did, I gave myself time and space in my own life to be my best self.

What saying yes to you does.

When you say yes to you, you give yourself time and space. It’s like clutter clearing. You have room in your physical life and in your head to do what would help you live the life you want to live.

And you get to say yes to others when it is appropriate to say yes. You say it from a place of love and caring.

When my client got to this place, he saw some pretty cool things happen in his life.

His family began to ask him what they could do for him. Because he had let go of the anger, they found him to be more approachable and loving.

Interesting right? They had been keeping him at a distance because they could tell he was angry. And when they needed him, he lovingly said yes and would do for them in a caring way.

Your peace of mind creates ripple effects.

My client ended up getting a promotion at work, started taking ballroom dance classes and even ended up entering dance competitions. He said he finally felt like he was living his life rather than giving his life to everyone else.

And the best part of my client recognizing and taking steps to put his peace of mind first was that everyone around him was happy just because he was happy.

How’s that for creating a powerfully happy life? By making one change he created a ripple effect for all of those around him.

He was willing to do what it took to get what he wanted. Truth be told, there were some things he wasn’t fully on board with when we worked together yet he was open to giving them a try.

He found out that those are the things that made the biggest difference for him in his results.

Moving outside your comfort zone.

Sometimes we need to let go of (or as I like to say it, clear the clutter of our minds) thoughts that have been keeping us from moving forward and think and do things that are a little different or outside our comfort zone.

Because, all of what we want is always outside our comfort zones.

Do you need to clear some clutter, physical or mental? Schedule a free Time & Space Assessment with me. Schedule your free 30 minute session now.  You’ll walk away with at least one (if not more) things that you can start doing now that will create your own ripple effect for your life.

 

Unwanted items get in the way of your success.

Your unwanted things often impede your success.

Most of the time, it is because when you have lots of unwanted things (including to dos) they clutter your space and your mind.

I love working with my clients. It is especially great when they email me a success or something they are happy about or when they are on their coaching call and can’t wait to share something they have accomplished.

The reason I enjoy it so much is because what had been their “normal” before was struggle, frustration and overwhelm. 

My clients are not lazy, and neither are you. They are/were however, inundated with stuff.

Once they get rid of the unwanted stuff, things take off for them. And they will for you too.

The importance of letting things go.

When I begin working with clients, one of the first things we do is an assessment of their time and space. We often find they have hardly any time nor any space (physically and mentally) to get to what they really want to accomplish.

It’s from there that they start letting things go. It’s important for them to have the space in their minds and in their environment in order to create the success they desire.

Once they have cleared the clutter of their living spaces, working spaces, vehicles, and minds, a number of things happen for them.

More opportunities come to them. They have more time for themselves and their families. Projects get accomplished, income increases, health improves and relationships prosper to name just a few.

Can you see why it is important for you to let things go? I hope so.

Let go now.

You need to start letting things if:

• Your calendar is always jam packed
• There isn’t any place to put things in your office
• Things seem to “go missing” a lot
• Forgetfulness is part of your daily life
• People are annoyed with you
• Email is overflowing
• Messages are getting lost or unanswered for days

If you said yes, to even just one of those scenarios, it’s time to begin to let things go. In order for you to optimize your life and your work, you need to create space. 

Take action now.

This is a big topic, and I like to break things down. So, just for this week, start by noticing the things around you. You can focus on the list above if that helps.

When you see something that is unwanted, not being used, in the way or gets under your skin, move it, donate it, throw it out, recycle it or put it away.

Do that a little each day throughout your office, house or in a specific room. Believe it or not, my clients do not always begin in their office. They begin (as you will) in the place that is causing them the most annoyance.

If you aren’t sure where to begin, start with what you can see. Letting things go will clear your space, clear the air and clear your mind. 

And that’s a wonderful thing.

Want to do a Time & Space Assessment? Schedule your free 30 minute session now.  You’ll walk away knowing what to start letting go of immediately.