Are You Leading Or Following?

I want you to know that minding my own business jump-started my business.  Are you wondering “Hmmm, what does she mean?”  Well, I shall share (you knew I would).  I used to live my life being afraid of what ‘other people’ would say to me and about me – so, when making decisions about my life (my business) I always made choices based on pleasing everyone around me.  I was following those I lovingly call ‘other people’.  And as you probably figured out, I was very unhappy.  After much ado, I finally began to mind my own business and make my life choices based on what I would be satisfied doing and what I wanted my life to look like.  I began to lead – at last!

And so the transformation began – choices made by me, for me.  First, I left a really bad working environment, then I decided to go to coaching school, and then I decided to use my skills and experience to begin a business (as in working for myself).  By minding my own business — taking care of my needs and wants — I jumped-started my new career based on making choices for myself and for my business.  I am leading myself to success by no longer following others!

So where can you apply this lesson to your life?  ANYWHERE.  You don’t have to have a business; it’s all about your life.

Let’s use weight loss for an example.  Have you been wanting to lose weight yet have not been taking the steps to reach your goal?  Maybe you are doing things that ‘other people’ are doing (i.e. following) such as Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, or any other program geared toward weight loss.  While that may work for some, it might not be working for you.  That’s okay because everyone is different!  You need to look at what would work for you by asking yourself questions such as: What is it I want to get out of this?  How does this program fit into my life?  When this is over, what do I want my life to look like?

Following other people is often what keeps us stuck in place.  Yes, it can be helpful to have someone to follow, but being clear about why you are following them is the key to leading yourself with intention.  Remember that leading yourself with your own ideas and choices is what will bring you success.

If you like or need to be held accountable for your decisions, by all means get a buddy to keep you honest and motivated!  Find someone who understands where you are in your life now and where you want to go.  But recognize that you are leading you to your goals; it’s just with the support you want to have to reach them.

Now, go out and do the things you really want to do and know you are capable of!

As always, I am happy to have a chat with you to examine what is happening in your life so that you can really begin to mind your own business to reach the successes that you want!

Please share your thoughts, insights and revelations below!

 

© Copyright 2012 Kim Ravida Coaching. All rights reserved. Feel free to use the material from the article in whole or in part, just makes sure you include this complete acknowledgement including the live website link and let me know where the material will appear: “Kim Ravida, owner and founder of Kim Ravida Coaching, is a Certified Professional Coach and a personal and professional motivation mentor. In essence, she motivates people to stop beating themselves up and helps them get off their butts so that they maximize their time and energy to quickly get what they want in their lives… and love their reflection! Kim produces a weekly ezine where she shares insights, inspirations, tips and ideas for setting and reaching personal and professional goals. To get more information or sign up, please go to www.kimravida.com.” 

Are You Sleeping Through Your Life?

Do you ever feel like not getting out of bed in the morning?  Are you exhausted because you have so much to do?  What about what others want from you?  Do you look around and say “This is my life?  Really?”  And then want to pull the covers over your head?

Let’s say you have decided to go to the gym every morning and are finding that gee, you just can’t seem to get out of the bed.  You just lie there hitting the snooze button again and again and again.  You’ll go tomorrow.  And then, well, we know how that goes.   If you are still reading this, you may even be one of those people who “I’ll do it tomorrow” is a regular thought or phrase for you.

You know, sometimes it’s great to ‘do it tomorrow’ – remember we can’t always do everything in one day.  I know that first hand as I’ve chosen to only spend five hours in my office.  So then, how do we ‘do it today’ and not put it off and essentially sleep through our lives?

First, acknowledge that we cannot do everything.   As women we like to do it all, yet, exactly what is the ‘all’?  And who is the ‘all’ for?  Second — after you have answered the above two questions — determine exactly what it is you want and why.  Do you really want to go to the gym?  If the answer is yes, then by all means, figure out a plan to get there.  If the answer is no, whew, we now have an answer as to why you haven’t been able to get there.

Ok, so you are asking “Now what?”  If you really want to do something, you have to make changes in your life.  If you want to get in shape, feel better, fit into your clothes and have greater health, it’s time to figure out a way for you to do that for yourself.

I’ve used the example of exercise but this can be related to all things.  You can be sleeping through your life by not spending quality time with your children or staying in a job you hate and that is unsatisfying.  There are many ways we sleep through our lives.  Once you make the decision to – as Steve Jobs says –‘change something’, you will find that you are less exhausted in your life, not sleeping through it as much and beginning to enjoy it and come alive like you never thought possible.

As a coach, I help women fit the pieces of their lives together, so please, if you even question “Could I be sleeping through my life?” – let’s talk.  It costs nothing to talk and we’ll see if coaching may be for you.  Remember, coaching is about moving forward.  There is the beginning, the glorious middle and then an ending for which you are not only moving forward but finding that the pieces of your life are fitting you better than imagined!  There is magic in that!  Email me to schedule a call.  Don’t wait to wake up!  Do it now!

I’d love to hear your thoughts, insights and revelations below!

 

© Copyright 2012 Kim Ravida Coaching. All rights reserved. Feel free to use the material from the article in whole or in part, just makes sure you include this complete acknowledgement including the live website link and let me know where the material will appear: “Kim Ravida, owner and founder of Kim Ravida Coaching, is a Certified Professional Coach and a personal and professional motivation mentor. In essence, she motivates people to stop beating themselves up and helps them get off their butts so that they maximize their time and energy to quickly get what they want in their lives… and love their reflection! Kim produces a weekly ezine where she shares insights, inspirations, tips and ideas for setting and reaching personal and professional goals. To get more information or sign up, please go to www.kimravida.com.” 

March on Your Journey to Success

March!  I just happen to like the word; it makes me think of forward movement with intention!  Since I was feeling a bit playful when I sat down to write, I looked up other words for march: stride, strut, swagger, advance, progression, and evolution!  Love them all!  There are others, but I’m only sharing those that spoke to me.

One thing I know is that we are all able to ‘march’ forward, yet we often hold ourselves back for many reasons like time, energy, or other people.  Or is it fear of the unknown?  Or is it something you think would be too hard?  Would the change seem like too much of a stretch for you?  If you were given an awesome opportunity … would you even take it?  If not, what is stopping you?  What if you eliminated those negative thoughts — whatever they are — and began to think differently and more positively?  What if you set aside those reasons — whatever they are — and made the decision to march forward and reach for what you want?  How would you feel then?  Would it be exciting?  Did a voice in your head whisper “Do it! It would be exciting!”  And guess what?  The voice in your head is right!  And the best part:  it’ll be easy because you only need to say it is so and so it is.

Ok, now that we have established that not only is it possible, it’s easy, are you as energized as I am just thinking of marching forward?  Where do you want to march to?  Is it to a new you?  Maybe you want to lose weight or reduce stress?  Maybe you want to get a new job – one that really fits you and your lifestyle and your values?  Maybe it’s to set time aside to plan your evolution?  Maybe it is to create more family time with your spouse, children, and animals?  Whatever it is… go for it!

Now to be realistic, you will put things in your path to make it more difficult.  Fear will rise up and you’ll wonder: “Can I do this? Should I do this? What if it doesn’t work?”  All kinds of other thoughts will likely show up, too.  So I have a trick to help you outsmart them!  When you doubt a decision you’ve made, ask yourself “Am I questioning this from a place of fear or love?”  If you find you are making it from a place of fear, ask why.  Why is it a place of fear and how true is that fear?  When we come from a place of love, love for ourselves, others, and the Universe, it’s joyful, exciting and easy.

As you march yourself to your success, know that your life — like mine — is your own special journey: you get to say how it will be!  Here is to hoping your March forward to success continues through this year and beyond!  I’d love for you to share your success with me – scroll on down to the comments section and let me know what great things you are marching toward!

 

© Copyright 2012 Kim Ravida Coaching. All rights reserved. Feel free to use the material from the article in whole or in part, just makes sure you include this complete acknowledgement including the live website link and let me know where the material will appear: “Kim Ravida, owner and founder of Kim Ravida Coaching, is a Certified Professional Coach and a personal and professional motivation mentor. In essence, she motivates people to stop beating themselves up and helps them get off their butts so that they maximize their time and energy to quickly get what they want in their lives… and love their reflection! Kim produces a weekly ezine where she shares insights, inspirations, tips and ideas for setting and reaching personal and professional goals. To get more information or sign up, please go to www.kimravida.com.” 

Fear, What’s It Got To Do With Anything?

Fear – I know it well.  It has been a part of my life since… well, since I can remember!  Sometimes it has served me and other times not.  So what’s it got to do with anything?

For the most part, I have come to discover that it really doesn’t have to do with much at all when you ultimately realize what it is.  Fear is our mind creating stories, situations, and scenarios that hold us back.  Now, don’t get me wrong, there is real fear – like if someone is chasing you down a dark alley, that’s real and is truly frightening.  But let’s say that you wanted to leave your job but stayed because you were fearful that you might not get another one or that you wanted to lose weight but were fearful that your loved ones wouldn’t support you.  See, fear – as we humans have come accustomed to feeling it — really is just a stumbling block to being what you want, having what you want and doing what you want.  Fear is an excuse.

Did I get your attention?  I hope so, because I really want you to stand up and say “I will not allow fear to rule my life and keep me in limbo.”  I was in limbo for many years.  Although I still feel fear when I’m about to do something new – like when I left my secure, well-paying job (that I hated by the way) and embarked on a new career — now I ask myself, “So what’s fear got to do with this anyway?” The answer is always because I made up some story about what may happen and what I might be leaving behind.  I focus on how lousy I believe my experience is going to be without knowing for a fact how it will turn out. So no wonder I get fearful!

How many times do you do that?  I know I was doing it way too much – even down to trying a new restaurant because I was afraid it would not be good.  Then I realized my fear was just a story I made up in my head; so I changed the story and tried the new restaurant… and I love it!  It showed me that by having a positive approach and outlook, I give myself the opportunity to have a wonderful and successful experience.  So no longer am I stuck doing the same things, feeling the same ways and being miserable.  The gift is that I experience so much joy on a daily basis, I have fun all the time, and I have fantastic adventures that I wouldn’t have had if I stayed in my fear zone!

I’m here to tell you that fear has NOTHING to do with it – you do!  As Eleanor Roosevelt said:  “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.  You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.”  Again, I can tell you that this statement is so very true!  And once you do it, you will be so amazed at the results – sometimes you even get something you never imagined.

How will you go out and get what you want now that you know that fear doesn’t have to control you?  What is one fear you will face in the next week to move you forward? Share your fears and how you’ll change those ‘stories’; I’d love to hear them!

 

© Copyright 2012 Kim Ravida Coaching. All rights reserved. Feel free to use the material from the article in whole or in part, just makes sure you include this complete acknowledgement including the live website link and let me know where the material will appear: “Kim Ravida, owner and founder of Kim Ravida Coaching, is a Certified Professional Coach and a personal and professional motivation mentor. In essence, she motivates people to stop beating themselves up and helps them get off their butts so that they maximize their time and energy to quickly get what they want in their lives… and love their reflection! Kim produces a weekly ezine where she shares insights, inspirations, tips and ideas for setting and reaching personal and professional goals. To get more information or sign up, please go to www.kimravida.com.” 

Who Said Faith Was Easy?

Faith.  I like this word.  It also means confidence, trust and assurance.  For me, all of those words evoke a powerful feeling.  Yet many of us (yes, me included) often do not have enough faith in ourselves to let go and reach for what we want…what we really want.

For many of my clients it is because they do not feel confident in themselves.  They aren’t sure, they want to make the ‘right’ decisions, they don’t want to say no, or they don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings.  I could go on, but I won’t because I think you get it.  Therefore many stay stuck, unhappy, unfulfilled and oftentimes depressed by their lives rather than uplifted and living the life of their dreams.

Sure, there are things going on in their lives that they believe they have to deal with or tolerate and live with.  Yet, what they eventually come to realize is that those are stories they told themselves for one reason or another to justify their unwillingness to change.  Often it leads back to the fact that they didn’t have the faith in themselves to stand up and say “I am not going to live like this anymore!”  So what happens?  They learn to have faith in themselves and also in others.  They discover that they don’t have to suffer and they can be happy.  That realize they are the leaders of their lives and when they decide to take steps — even just one small step — to get what they want, they find faith in themselves.  It’s freeing for them and opens up a whole new life!

Once my clients find the faith in themselves to allow in the confidence, trust and assurance to shine, they never go back to their old ways of being.  The beauty is that once you have faith and allow yourself to let go and reach for what you want, you usually get it and so much more!  Sometimes, you don’t even know what you want and you end up with something even better than you expected!

There is a saying “jump and the net will appear”.  Yes, that takes a lot of faith, doesn’t it?  You’re probably thinking, “If only it were that easy, I would have jumped years ago.”  Well, those years have passed, and so too have opportunities and experiences that you won’t be able to get back.  Stop that cycle right now.  If you are still feeling the fear, I encourage you to start small, just a small jump – I’ll even do it with you.  Start by telling yourself that no longer will you be held back by anything and that you will have the faith in yourself to jump into living the life you want!

What are you going to do this week that requires faith in yourself? Let me know below, I’d love to hear it!

 

© Copyright 2012 Kim Ravida Coaching. All rights reserved. Feel free to use the material from the article in whole or in part, just makes sure you include this complete acknowledgement including the live website link and let me know where the material will appear: “Kim Ravida, owner and founder of Kim Ravida Coaching, is a Certified Professional Coach and a personal and professional motivation mentor. In essence, she motivates people to stop beating themselves up and helps them get off their butts so that they maximize their time and energy to quickly get what they want in their lives… and love their reflection! Kim produces a weekly ezine where she shares insights, inspirations, tips and ideas for setting and reaching personal and professional goals. To get more information or sign up, please go to www.kimravida.com.”

To Soar: Relax, You are Already Perfect

Are you familiar with the saying “Relax, you are already perfect”?  It’s a very freeing statement.  At least, I think it is.  How about you?  I’m a former perfectionist; I never did anything without fear of not doing it right.  I never stood out for fear of doing it wrong.  I never tried anything for fear of failing.  What this left me with was a stale, boring and unsatisfying life.

I spent so much of my life trying to be someone else, trying to please others, and trying to make others happy – which I know I did.  Yet, I never tried to make myself happy.  I was just plain afraid that they wouldn’t like me if I wasn’t perfect.  The thing about being someone else is, well, you aren’t!  You are you.   Until you take that step to love yourself and be you in your full glory, you’ll be just like I was, stuck and stranded on the ground.  If you want to soar, it is important for you to relax and know that you are already perfect being you.

Now, I’m not going to tell you this was an easy journey or that I’ve mastered it.  But what I can tell you is that once I freed myself from the bonds I had imposed on my life, I began to soar.  My life became everything I was wanting!  It is joyful instead of unhappy.  It is effortless instead of difficult.  I have ease instead of stress.  Most of all, I now love my life and participate fully in it rather than trudging through yet another day of the same dull, boring existence.

We are all unique and specially made… and we need to embrace it.  Once we begin to do this, we soar.  You are you and I am me, and we come together to bring joy, happiness and fulfillment to each other and the world. The subtle beauty of this is that we flourish both independently and together.

So the next time you think you have to be perfect — stop, go to the mirror, smile, and say “I am unique and special and perfect just the way I am now.”  This will help you remember that right now, this very moment, you are able to soar to your greatest self, reach your highest goals and begin to free yourself from your self-imposed perfectionism.  Trust me; it’s one of the best gifts you can gift to yourself!

Are you a perfectionist trying to change your ways?  Share your thoughts below!

 

© Copyright 2012 Kim Ravida Coaching. All rights reserved. Feel free to use the material from the article in whole or in part, just makes sure you include this complete acknowledgement including the live website link and let me know where the material will appear: “Kim Ravida, owner and founder of Kim Ravida Coaching, is a Certified Professional Coach and a personal and professional motivation mentor. In essence, she motivates people to stop beating themselves up and helps them get off their butts so that they maximize their time and energy to quickly get what they want in their lives… and love their reflection! Kim produces a weekly ezine where she shares insights, inspirations, tips and ideas for setting and reaching personal and professional goals. To get more information or sign up, please go to www.kimravida.com.” 

Do You Love You?

Do you love you?  Do you tell others how much you love them yet never tell yourself how much you love you?  Hmmm…I figured as much.  So if you haven’t already told yourself how absolutely awesome you are, stop right now – go to the mirror and take a good look at yourself and say “I love you, I really, really love you.”  You are the only one who has the power to love yourself wholly and unconditionally.  If you are anything like I used to be, you are probably saying “Um, ya, don’t think so” probably because it feels uncomfortable.  However, I challenge you to ask yourself why it feels that way!  We are all unique and specially made in our own way – own it, embrace it, love it!  See, it isn’t about another person, it’s about you and how you show up in your life.  As you begin to show up more loving toward yourself, you bet you’ll show up more loving to others.

After working on this with one of my clients who was always stressed out and feeling like she was never getting anywhere, she exclaimed “Oh gosh, I never really thought of myself as important.”  Then she sat there very quiet for a long time. Finally I asked, “Okay, what are you feeling?” She replied “Anger.  I see now that I have put so much ahead of myself that I’ve missed out on a great deal in my life.”  Then she said “I know what you are going to ask, so here is the answer:  I plan to put myself first no matter how hard it is and do the things I’ve been wanting to do, take time for myself to get healthy, have fun, and love myself rather than sabotage myself.”  She knew I was going to ask her what she wanted to have in her life now that she knew what she knew.  And from there she set about creating her plan and implementing the steps for her to love herself and be able to look in the mirror and say “I love you, I really, really love you.”

The ironic part is, she is a lovely and loving woman, wife, mother, employee and friend.  She shows her love to others by helping them out, doing for them, being there for them, and making them happy.  Yet when it came to her, it didn’t feel right so she just didn’t.  She gained weight, felt stressed, angry at times, and overall just blah and worn out.  By owning the love for herself, she immediately saw how she was treating herself… and it wasn’t how she would ever treat another!

As interesting or perplexing as that may seem — where are you doing the same thing by not feeling the love of you?  Are you saying “I love myself” yet continue to put obstacles in your way so that you don’t get what you really want?  Have you had the same goal for a long time and can’t seem to reach it?  Do things seem to happen to you again and again and you have no idea why?  Saying you love yourself and really loving yourself are two different things.  Where might you really show yourself the love?

Share your thoughts below; I love hearing from you!

 

© Copyright 2012 Kim Ravida Coaching. All rights reserved. Feel free to use the material from the article in whole or in part, just makes sure you include this complete acknowledgement including the live website link and let me know where the material will appear: “Kim Ravida, owner and founder of Kim Ravida Coaching, is a Certified Professional Coach and a personal and professional motivation mentor. In essence, she motivates people to stop beating themselves up and helps them get off their butts so that they maximize their time and energy to quickly get what they want in their lives… and love their reflection! Kim produces a weekly ezine where she shares insights, inspirations, tips and ideas for setting and reaching personal and professional goals. To get more information or sign up, please go to www.kimravida.com.”

Sweep away the obstacles!

You have determination, made your decisions and laid out a plan for your success — and you can’t wait until you see and experience those results!  But wait; there is something else to think about.  Obstacles!

Obstacles, now just where did these come from?  Have they always been there?!  I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but yes, they have!  And it’s rare to accomplish anything without having to face them first.

Have you ever tried to ski or ice skate?  If so, you know that falling down is a big part of learning.  How do world class skiers and skaters become world class?  If you said through determination, you are correct!  They, just like you and I, have to start somewhere.  They decided to become world class and they made plans to get there.  Yet, just doing that, doesn’t bring them success.  They also see obstacles get in the way, but they tackle each one and sweep them away until one day they find themselves not falling down — well, not as much anyway!  And so then, what they do when they fall down is just as important isn’t it?  They get back up and keep going.

Where in your life do you allow obstacles to hold you back?  Or even, where do YOU PUT obstacles in your own way?  Oh I can hear you, you’re saying “That makes no sense; I don’t put stuff in my own way!”  Right, it doesn’t sound like something you would choose to do, but remember last week’s article where you admitted you do keep saying the same thing every New Year?  That’s the exact thing I’m talking about.  Last week, I asked you to look at things differently so that next year you wouldn’t be saying the same thing.  This week, I’m asking you to look at where you put obstacles in your path of determination that keep you from reaching your goals.

A client kept saying she wanted to lose weight.  She would create a great plan for herself and then every month she was frustrated because she still hadn’t lost a pound.  Yet, she was determined and sure that once she did, her life would be ‘so awesome’!  Did she clean out the food cabinets like she had planned?  No.  Did she get to the gym like she told herself she would?  No.  But her life would be so awesome if only she would!  So why was she NOT doing them?  Because she kept putting obstacles in the way of her own success.  Once she recognized that bringing more sweets into the house and choosing the couch over the gym were creating obstacles and keeping her from having the ‘so awesome’ life she craved, she let go of the resistance, swept away all the obstacles, and finally experienced a life that was ‘so awesome’!

This week I ask you to think of the ways you hold yourself back with obstacles you put in your own way — they could be physical, mental, or emotional — and see where you can begin sweeping them away so that you may live a life that is ‘so awesome’, too.

I would love to hear from you.  Feel free to share your comments below!

© Copyright 2012 Kim Ravida Coaching. All rights reserved. Feel free to use the material from the article in whole or in part, just makes sure you include this complete acknowledgement including the live website link and let me know where the material will appear: “Kim Ravida, owner and founder of Kim Ravida Coaching, is a Certified Professional Coach and a personal and professional motivation mentor. In essence, she motivates people to stop beating themselves up and helps them get off their butts so that they maximize their time and energy to quickly get what they want in their lives… and love their reflection! Kim produces a weekly ezine where she shares insights, inspirations, tips and ideas for setting and reaching personal and professional goals. To get more information or sign up, please go to www.kimravida.com.” 

The beauty of decisions

Last week we talked about determination and how having it can help us move forward in our lives and obtain what we truly desire.  If you haven’t read it, click here.

Great, so now you have the determination to get what you want… but wait, there is so much you want that you don’t know where to begin.  As a Life Coach, I ask my clients questions to help them MAKE decisions that will assist them with reaching their goals.  The important piece is to MAKE an active decision so you aren’t left there standing, looking around, wondering why you haven’t gotten what you wanted.  Because when you fail to decide, you fail to move forward.

And don’t think you’re off the hook if you experienced a situation where you simply didn’t take action, because – yup, when you take no action, that’s also a decision!

I bet you don’t like that one bit.  I don’t either.  I have about 15 books that I started reading over the past few years that I have not finished. I took no action. So my decision NOT to finish them has now left me with new choices to make — like, just what do I do with all these books? Wouldn’t it be easier to decide to finish reading them, all of them? Truthfully, yes it would because then I wouldn’t have so much to make up my mind about. But in reality, I need to make a decision about which books to finish and when I’m going to do it — and that’s when it gets tricky.

So then, where in your life does the “tricky” part show up that keeps you from making decisions?  Where could you make a choice that would open a door or even several doors of opportunity to you?  Is there a conversation with someone that you think will be difficult so you keep putting it off?  Do you need to decide that yes or no you’ll join that coaching program?  Do you need to let go of something?  Is there some information you need before you make the decision?  Whatever it is, you have to face it head on and move beyond it. If you need to seek the counsel of others, do it. Otherwise you will continue to fail moving forward.

One thing I have experienced and trust is that once you do make the decision, doors will magically open – maybe even fly open.  So make the decision to get what you want, and trust that you’ll get it and a whole lot more!

Since last week you have been working on your determination, let’s keep the momentum rolling and add decision to your plan.  What is ONE decision you can make this week that will open a door so that you move closer to what it is you want?

I’d love to hear what your decision is; feel free to let me know!

© Copyright 2012 Kim Ravida Coaching. All rights reserved. Feel free to use the material from the article in whole or in part, just makes sure you include this complete acknowledgement including the live website link and let me know where the material will appear: “Kim Ravida, owner and founder of Kim Ravida Coaching, is a Certified Professional Coach and a personal and professional motivation mentor. In essence, she motivates people to stop beating themselves up and helps them get off their butts so that they maximize their time and energy to quickly get what they want in their lives… and love their reflection! Kim produces a weekly ezine where she shares insights, inspirations, tips and ideas for setting and reaching personal and professional goals. To get more information or sign up, please go to www.kimravida.com.”