Being Open to Being Open-Minded

When it comes to making a shared decision, whether it be at home or in the office, do you sometimes think that only you can make the best decisions because you are the expert?  Are you the parent or manager who knows best?  What if I told you that you might not; would you think I was off my rocker?

This idea often shocks my clients.  For whatever reason, you believe you are the only one capable of deciding because you are the specialist.  Now to be clear here, when it relates to your personal feelings I’m not disputing or going to tell you otherwise.  Without a doubt you are the expert for any decision that involves you alone.  I teach my clients that absolutely no one should weigh in on why you should or should not feel a certain way.  In order to stand in your true power, you need to listen to your own feelings.  It is the only way to find your joy and happiness in life.

Yet, one place often misunderstood is when situations and outcomes involve other people.  Being the authority, you won’t ask for help, assistance, or outside information.  In fact, you can also be very close-minded if someone tries to share information that may be useful.  The belief is that you know best or already know everything you need to know in order to make the decision, so why bother listening to anyone else.  However, have you ever had the experience where someone shares something with you and you say “I wish I knew that before”?  That is where the value of listening to someone else comes into play even when you don’t think you have to.  It could make your life and job easier, you may avoid costly mistakes, and you’ll probably save time. There are many benefits.

An open-mind allows for possibilities and opportunities to come to us translating into more joy, happiness and satisfaction in our lives.  Many of my clients see that being open and receptive to hearing what someone else has to say makes their lives so much easier and more satisfying.  Here are three tips to get you started:

  1. Listen with an open-mind:  Are you shooting down an idea without really hearing what the person has to say?  If you are, chances are you are being perceived as pigheaded and inflexible.  Stop yourself and listen to the other person closely.  If necessary, ask questions to gain clarity. You might learn something!
  2. See it through a different pair of eyes:  If you are thinking “Oh, I already know that”, you’re falling back into old habits.  How can you see the situation in a new light that’s different from your point of view?  Look at it through the presenter’s eyes; what might they see that you are not.  It certainly could make a big difference in the final outcome.
  3. Try it on for size:  Even if you’re still hesitant, be willing to “try on” the new idea to see how it fits.  Run through a few scenarios in your head (or on paper if time permits).  How might this different idea change the outcome?  Remember, you always have to break in a pair of new shoes before they feel good!

In the end, you give yourself and others the opportunity to expand your vision.  When you have opened your mind to new possibilities and opportunities, you see things differently and can never make a wrong decision.  Just think of the success and happiness you will experience by being open to being open-mined.

Tell me about a time when you thought your decision was the only way to go yet you were proven otherwise? Or better yet, tell me about a time you were receptive to suggestions and wonderful things resulted!  I can’t wait to hear what you have to say below.

The beauty of decisions

Last week we talked about determination and how having it can help us move forward in our lives and obtain what we truly desire.  If you haven’t read it, click here.

Great, so now you have the determination to get what you want… but wait, there is so much you want that you don’t know where to begin.  As a Life Coach, I ask my clients questions to help them MAKE decisions that will assist them with reaching their goals.  The important piece is to MAKE an active decision so you aren’t left there standing, looking around, wondering why you haven’t gotten what you wanted.  Because when you fail to decide, you fail to move forward.

And don’t think you’re off the hook if you experienced a situation where you simply didn’t take action, because – yup, when you take no action, that’s also a decision!

I bet you don’t like that one bit.  I don’t either.  I have about 15 books that I started reading over the past few years that I have not finished. I took no action. So my decision NOT to finish them has now left me with new choices to make — like, just what do I do with all these books? Wouldn’t it be easier to decide to finish reading them, all of them? Truthfully, yes it would because then I wouldn’t have so much to make up my mind about. But in reality, I need to make a decision about which books to finish and when I’m going to do it — and that’s when it gets tricky.

So then, where in your life does the “tricky” part show up that keeps you from making decisions?  Where could you make a choice that would open a door or even several doors of opportunity to you?  Is there a conversation with someone that you think will be difficult so you keep putting it off?  Do you need to decide that yes or no you’ll join that coaching program?  Do you need to let go of something?  Is there some information you need before you make the decision?  Whatever it is, you have to face it head on and move beyond it. If you need to seek the counsel of others, do it. Otherwise you will continue to fail moving forward.

One thing I have experienced and trust is that once you do make the decision, doors will magically open – maybe even fly open.  So make the decision to get what you want, and trust that you’ll get it and a whole lot more!

Since last week you have been working on your determination, let’s keep the momentum rolling and add decision to your plan.  What is ONE decision you can make this week that will open a door so that you move closer to what it is you want?

I’d love to hear what your decision is; feel free to let me know!

© Copyright 2012 Kim Ravida Coaching. All rights reserved. Feel free to use the material from the article in whole or in part, just makes sure you include this complete acknowledgement including the live website link and let me know where the material will appear: “Kim Ravida, owner and founder of Kim Ravida Coaching, is a Certified Professional Coach and a personal and professional motivation mentor. In essence, she motivates people to stop beating themselves up and helps them get off their butts so that they maximize their time and energy to quickly get what they want in their lives… and love their reflection! Kim produces a weekly ezine where she shares insights, inspirations, tips and ideas for setting and reaching personal and professional goals. To get more information or sign up, please go to www.kimravida.com.”