Bring More Peace and Calm into Your Life

November 6, 2014 By

Business woman in office isolated on whiteWhy is it some people can effortlessly get things done and are always prepared ahead of time while others (like me) get stressed out at the last minute?

I think back to a trip I took with my husband. When we were packing (mind you, he packed most things a week in advance), he was easily folding and putting things in his suitcase and I was racing around up to the attic and going through the closets to find my stuff. When we got to the airport, why was he not paying the extra $50.00 because his suitcase was overweight? And when we got to the hotel, why does he not have nine pair of shoes lined up in the hotel room? I over packed…again. I won’t even tell you about our first trip away, but I will tell you that one moment I had my passport in my hand and the next it was gone. Talk about stress!

It’s kind of a phenomenon for some of us. We get stressed out, while others remain calm. I’ve always wanted to be the calm one but I continually find myself being the stressed one. This got me thinking: why am I this way? I want to be composed, easily pack, and be ready ahead of time before the driver shows up to drive us to the airport.

I was curious and I wanted to find the answer for myself, so I decided to observe and talk to people who I thought were always cool, calm and collected and see what they did. Here is what I learned and what I hope to put into practice immediately to bring more peace and calm into my life; maybe it can help you too:

  • They know what they need to do and they do it. They keep a list and then they schedule when they will do things.
  • They stay focused on the task and finish what they started.
  • They have a great sense of time and use it accordingly (meaning, they don’t waste the time they have designated running off to do another thing while they are in the middle of doing something else).
  • They are organized.
  • They say ‘no’ and mean it. (My husband does this well, much to my annoyance especially when I want him to do something.)

There are two things that I know I will struggle with. The first is using time accordingly – I hate to admit it but I have that Bright Shiny Object Syndrome and often will start on thing in one room and then find myself in another room doing something completely different. Then the next thing I know, I have to move on to something else and the only thing I’ve managed to do is make a mess and cause myself stress! The second is saying ‘no’.

Yet, as I write this I think, what if I embrace saying ‘no’ to all the nonsense I do that brings me stress? Could it be that by saying no to stress I will be saying yes to calm? I don’t know, but I sure am willing to give it a try!

 

Filed Under: Personal Development Tagged With: , , , ,

Stress: It’s got to go!

August 14, 2014 By

To-Do List Everything Dry Erase Board Overworked StressI used to run around saying I’m so stressed out and I’m so overwhelmed. It felt terrible and I couldn’t seem to get anything done. This stemmed from my working for others as an employee for years and then I carried it over to when I began my own business. I suffered from headaches and anxiety, and I always had something happen to get in the way of what I was trying to accomplish. At work it was the computer crashed or the printer jammed. If I was driving, I hit every single red light there was and, of course, got behind the slowest driver. It was downright frustrating and annoying yet it was the way I lived my life.

One day I realized that I needed to make a change. I wasn’t really paying attention to what I was doing and nearly rear-ended the driver in front of me. I was a danger to not only myself but to those around me! I was mad at myself because this was not how I wanted to show up in my life.

And on the home front, my husband would often say “you are a mess” and he was right. I didn’t like when he said it and that was because I knew it was true. I had bruises from walking into things; the corner of the desk, the door frames, and things that just jumped out in front of me. Well, okay, so they didn’t really just jump out – I wasn’t paying attention and of course I ran into them. Doing so slowed me down… so again another example of things happening to me.
Okay, so what did I do? I decided that I needed to be present in my life because I was missing out on so much. I was always racing around from thing to thing trying to get stuff done. Some important and some not so important, but because I put it off it was usually urgent that I get it done.

It’s what transpired for me that I’d love to share with you. Here are a few steps that immediately took the edge off the anxiety and frustration I was feeling and they were easy to do. See, I knew that I needed it to be easy because, heck, I had things to do and it couldn’t be hard or else I’d feel stressed doing them. And since I was out to change that, I wanted it to be do-able.

  • I decided what I wanted to feel. I did not like feeling stressed – which meant that I felt tight, my breathing was short and my shoulders were always hunched. I thought about how do I want to feel? It was relaxed. And how to do that was to just envision feeling it at first.
  • I took 5 minutes to do nothing – and at first it was so hard. I was antsy and couldn’t sit still. So in order to actually accomplish this I told myself I would read 5 minutes of the book that I was reading at the time. I enjoyed this so much, I ended up setting the time for 30 minutes and it was the best 30 minutes of my day because it gave me that peace of mind I needed. I eventually ended up being able to sit still and quiet for 5 minutes.
  • I took things off my list of things to do. This was the hardest part yet it was the most beneficial. I’m a self-proclaimed over-achiever and put a lot on my to-do list yet I wasn’t getting to nearly half of them. So I started with the 2-3 most important things on my list and if I got those done I could do another and so on. This not only set me up to win and feel productive, but it gave me more time – which when I was under so much stress and overwhelm I never had. The outcomes were amazing and I felt so much better.

Just putting these three tips into place made my life and my business so much easier. I was no longer ‘a mess’ internally and externally, I was productive and calm. I had peace of mind and I felt so much joy and happiness. Ahhh it was — and still is — just the way I decided I wanted to feel.

Filed Under: Personal Development, Self Worth Tagged With: , , , ,

Handling What Life Throws Your Way

November 13, 2013 By

Change ahead stampChange is inevitable – after all, nothing really stays the same.  But in today’s challenging times, it seems like we’re on “uncertainty” overload, never knowing what will happen from one moment to the next. Here today, gone tomorrow – or, at the least, very different tomorrow.

Uncertainty brings stress and confusion, and while most of us would be quick to say that we want less stress and more certainty in our lives, what we really want is less of a stress reaction to what life is throwing our way.

We can’t choose what happens to us – but we can choose our responses to the situations we encounter.  Let’s take a look at five different responses that people have to stressful situations. As you read through these five responses, you may want to think of a recent stressful event or news that you may have received, and see what your reaction to that event can teach you about how you habitually respond.  You may have one type of response at work, and another at home, or you may react differently depending on who else is involved.

  • The first, and unfortunately all too common response to stressful events is to suffer and be a victim to it. People who respond this way don’t take action. Things happen TO them – and though they may complain and be generally miserable about it, they don’t take any steps to do anything. They allow life to control them, instead of the other way around. This way of responding is certainly not recommended, and eventually, it will take its toll on one’s physical and mental health.
  • The second type of response is to accept the situation, and to get some perspective on it.  Someone with this response may say “so what,” or perhaps get some perspective on the situation by asking if it will it matter in a year – or a week – or even in a day.
  • The third way to respond is to actually take steps to change the situation – taking action to bring it to resolution (or at least move toward resolution). This is a very powerful response, and one that many effective leaders employ.
  • The fourth way to respond is to avoid the situation. People responding this way make a decision not to get involved in a situation that they don’t see as concerning them, or upon which they can’t make an impact. For example, someone may choose not to get involved in a dispute going on within their office if it doesn’t directly involve them.
  • The fifth and final way that people generally respond to stress is to alter the experience of the situation. When we look at a situation differently, the experience itself changes. Changing perceptions is probably the most challenging of the responses, because we tend to be stuck in our own interpretations and assumptions about what’s happening, but it is also perhaps the most powerful of all.

It’s your world, and you can create it as you wish. Remember, what one person sees as stressful, another person barely notices, or sees as exciting and full of opportunity. How are you going to choose today?

I’d love to hear how you respond to change or how you are going to now choose to respond.  Also, feel free to share your thoughts, insights and revelations below!

Filed Under: Personal Development Tagged With: , , , , ,